Oh God, how many times have I sworn off giving people advice! Every time I remember the wise words of Athos that they ask for advice only so that later there will be someone to blame for their failures. But once again I listen to another story and I can not help but advise. After all, I want to help, encourage, suggest ... And every time I forget that the person standing in front of me is different. What does other mean? Not only will he not listen to me because he has a point of view anyway; he just doesn't understand me. You know, sometimes you look at your own photos and wonder: is it really me? Not at all similar! And the people around say: well, what do you, of course, look like! And you involuntarily think, maybe I see myself wrong if others unanimously claim that the stranger in the photo is me. It's the same with thoughts and advice. You speak, but they do not understand you, as if we are playing a broken phone.
In fact, giving advice is hard work. Moreover, one must be extremely responsible and serious in order to allow oneself to give advice to another person. Remember how in fairy tales, the hero meets some fabulous creature, which, apparently, does nothing but give advice. Then the hero, of course, defeats all the villains, because he listened to a knowledgeable person. Or in myths, legends - to whom do people go for advice? To the oldest and wisest. Moreover, advice is also followed out of respect for the adviser. Everything is correct and logical.
I'm on the old and wise man I'm obviously not pulling. Well, at least there was a little gray hair in her hair! And all there - to advise! But you see, I'm not the only one. Probably, a few can refrain from starting to teach life. Women definitely can't. You yourself know: just something happened - you need to tell your girlfriend, consult. And then we cry, why everything is not the way you want. Yes, because you need to act as your heart tells you, as logic requires. Your own logic, not your girlfriends! Nobody knows themselves better than themselves. One nuance, not specifically told or simply forgotten in a storm of emotions, can turn the situation around. And we won’t even understand what’s the matter, because such a beautiful picture is taking shape ... but before the eyes of another person.
What to do? After all, we cannot refuse to communicate with friends, and not give advice - it seems the same as showing indifference. But in fact, the answer is very simple: you need not to speak, but to listen. In most cases, a person does not need someone else's opinion at all, but only needs to voice their doubts and anxieties. But you won't talk to yourself, will you? So he is looking for an interlocutor. Well, then you know...
So remember the main rule of communication: listen more, talk less. And believe me, the best interlocutor is the one who knows how to save words, because the one who appreciates words also appreciates people.
Reading 3 min. Published on 21.10.2017
In this article you can find out all the answers in the game "Who wants to be a millionaire?" for October 21, 2017 (10/21/2017). First, you can see the questions asked by the players by Dmitry Dibrov, and then all the correct answers in today's intellectual TV game "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" for 10/21/2017.
Questions to the first pair of players
Dmitry Ulyanov and Alexander Rappoport (200,000 - 200,000 rubles)
1. What is a person who does nothing called?
2. What do they say about a person with bad intentions: "Keep ..."?
3. What is sometimes said about the breakdown of a device?
4. How does the name of the song of the beat quartet "Secret" end - "Blues of the Stray..."?
5. In which former Soviet republic is the currency other than the euro?
6. What play did Lope de Vega write?
7. How did the students call the professor in the film "Operation Y and Shurik's Other Adventures"?
8. Who erected a monument in front of the Theater Russian army in Moscow?
9. What was the name gunboat, who fought along with the cruiser "Varyag" against the Japanese squadron?
10. What did Joseph Brodsky not advise doing in one of the poems?
11. What did the centurion constantly wear as a symbol of his power?
12. In which city in 1960 did the USSR national team become the European football champion?
Questions to the second pair of players
Vitaly Eliseev and Sergey Puskepalis (200,000 - 0 rubles)
1. How to finish the proverb: "The spool is small ..."?
2. What did Matthias Rust plant near the Kremlin?
3. What is the name of George Danelia's film?
4. Which of these is not a confectionery?
5. What was the most disrespectful nickname given to police officers in the past?
6. Who doesn't have horns?
7. What Moscow building is higher than a hundred meters?
8. Which country has never won the European Football Championship?
9. What name did Veniamin Kaverin come up with for the sailboat, and not Jules Verne?
10. What is the fort mentioned in the old expression "to walk the fert"?
11. What was the surname of the Russian general in the James Bond film A View to a Kill?
Questions to the third pair of players
Sati Casanova and Andrei Grigoriev-Apollonov (400,000 - 0 rubles)
1. What, according to a well-known phraseological unit, can cause rabies?
2. What is the name of the railway line that branches off the main track?
3. What do people invited to a buffet table most often do without?
4. What is not intended for flight?
5. Who were the girlfriends from the poem "Tamara and I" by Agnia Barto?
6. Who competes in the "White Rook" tournament?
7. What is the programmer's slang for obscure characters that appear due to an encoding failure?
8. What is the name of the main assembly of the vacuum cleaner?
9. Which of the listed marine inhabitants is a fish?
10. What was located in the middle of Lubyanka Square before the installation of a monument to Dzerzhinsky there?
11. What was different about the First Symphony Ensemble, created in Moscow in 1922?
Answers to the questions of the first pair of players
- idle
- stone in the bosom
- flew
- dogs
- Kazakhstan
- "Dance teacher"
- burdock
- Suvorov
- "Korean"
- leave the room
- vine stick
- in Paris
Answers to the questions of the second pair of players
- yes dear
- airplane
- "Autumn marathon"
- manti
- pharaohs
- at the ocelot
- Cathedral of Christ the Savior
- Belgium
- "Holy Mary"
- letter of the alphabet
- Gogol
Answers to the questions of the third pair of players
- branch
- no chairs
- omnibus
- nurses
- young chess players
- krakozyabry
- compressor
- sea Horse
- fountain
- there was no conductor
Albert Einstein left behind treatises containing theoretical principles physics, but one of the most useful elements of his legacy may well be his advice on happiness. Einstein said: "The most important decision we make is the decision to believe that we live in a friendly or hostile universe." Now modern science carefully considered this wise advice.
Trick with the human mind
Human attitude is a serious force that can direct the course of life. Freedom of thought allows people to have a positive attitude, no matter what is going on around them. And this can play an important role in whether a person feels happy, or is constantly depressed and doubts himself. This can be traced in everything that exists, up to the quantum level. Quantum communications and superposition experiments have shown that the basic building blocks of matter are neither waves nor particles, but both, or neither, depending on how you look at it.
To be more precise, the behavior of protons and electrons depended on the expectations of scientists who conducted this or that experiment, that is, they had a direct impact on the process. Their opinions and expectations changed the results of the experiments. If a scientist expected the building blocks of matter to be particles, they turned out to be particles. If he thought that they would be waves, then they were waves, respectively.
Just by watching the process, you change it
Moreover, particles and waves are also affected by connections, no matter where they are in the universe. Einstein called this phenomenon "spooky action at a distance." This means that if something happens on one side of the planet, your attitude towards this event can change its outcome.
This phenomenon applies to absolutely everything, whether you're trying to get everything done by a deadline, meet the demands of your family, get everything done on a huge to-do list, or if it's about influencing sociopolitical and geopolitical events on a global scale. . So, instead of thinking that you live in a frightening world in which terrorist attacks occur, there are unusual weather and much more, you should focus on believing that humans live in a friendly universe, just like Einstein suggested.
Scientific approach
This is not magical thinking. It is a scientific change of events that is based on the collective consciousness of people, which affects all waves and particles as they constantly move in apparent reality. But there is one caveat worth mentioning. Your thinking interacts with the thinking of about eight billion other people, and the collective consciousness is not limited solely to the human brain.
How can you change your day?
Therefore, there is no point in despairing when your thought experiment does not go as you would like, since these thoughts also affect apparent reality. Instead of focusing on what's going on "out there", you should always stick to the "friendly universe" in your own thoughts. It also doesn't mean that you need to put your head in the sand when negative things happen around you. Instead, you need to understand that this is a call to change your attitude once again, continuing to imagine the outcome of events that you would like to see. You need to pray, meditate, and most importantly, act in a more loving and peaceful way, which can only happen when you change your own attitude.
Should be left at home. In this situation, they are not comrades and not advisers. What your friend likes might not work for you. But, succumbing to her persuasion, you will buy something for which "the soul does not lie." Only you can know and understand what suits you and what does not. Listen to yourself and your feelings - they will not deceive you.
I have a mother in law. kindest soul a person who loves me almost like his own child, is always ready to help cope with various difficulties. As you know, every person has their own oddities, and she is no exception. During my pregnancy, she brought me up: she advised me how to behave, what to eat, how many hours a day you need to sleep, and how much to be in the fresh air. Since it’s simply contraindicated to be nervous during pregnancy, I took everything calmly, tried not to pay attention, and when it became very tight with her, I talked to my husband, and he always answered: “Mom only wants good. She won’t advise bad.” With this I reassured myself, I thought it would pass as soon as I give birth to a healthy baby.
gave birth. Healthy and strong boy. Over time, my mother-in-law's smart advice became more and more. "Why did you put on a hat? It's hot outside! Look after the child, otherwise he will fall ..." - and so on ad infinitum. You can’t take a step without a caring “I advise you ...” or “I would be in your place ...” To be honest, I quickly got used to the advice of my beloved mother-in-law, learned to respond to them correctly, and more often not to react at all.
But to the teachers of life, experts in appearance I still can’t get used to the best cooks and I’m unlikely to ever be able to. In the words of the English writer Joseph Addison: Nothing people take with such disgust as advice"I think they are absolutely correct.
"You don't need to buy this thing - you need to be more economical. Something your husband returns late - you follow him! In my opinion, you have put on weight, it's time to lose weight. Completely pale, you need to eat more ..." - and stuff like that, further by the list. Without the advice of experts on all life issues, one cannot take a step. I wonder why not every well-wisher stay in his place? Why do people so often like to pry into other people's lives rather than their own?
In someone else's eye, as you know, we see a speck, but in our own we do not notice a log. But it still seems to me that before you advise something to another person, you need to think a hundred times. Indeed, for many people, advice is a very important part of life, and without them, simply nowhere!
I have a friend, Alina, who, without the advice of people from the outside, cannot even take a step on her own. She always takes a friend with her to clothing stores so that she can suggest what it is better for her to buy, what color to choose, etc. And if a friend cannot devote enough time to her, you have to call the entire store staff for help, so that everyone can advise something, say their opinion. Until everyone comes to a common conclusion, Alina does not calm down.
This behavior is typical for people who do not have their own opinion. Alina could never buy something, wear something, even choose a hairstyle and a new haircut without someone's advice. What is most surprising, she always blindly trusted them and never tried to argue, which, by the way, once played a cruel joke on her. Entering the barbershop, she, in her usual way, gathered all the hairdressers, stylists and visitors around her person, asking for advice on how to cut her hair and what color of paint to choose. Everyone gathered, discussed for a long time, everyone strove to advise something of their own. As a result, my friend left this hairdressing salon without a new haircut and with a spoiled mood, because the advisers did not agree.
Sometimes it's good to listen to advice. But only sometimes! After all, beloved mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers, grandparents, friends and acquaintances will not advise bad. It just happens very often that you perceive their words as the only correct opinion, which is fundamentally wrong. Listen to the advice, but think for yourself - is this the right decision and is there a better option.
Personally, I almost never give advice unless asked for it. I think that this is the right position, since it is not worth getting into those things that do not concern you. You can only make things worse, and your good intention can be taken as something said with evil intent.
However, now almost everyone listens to advice, from mere mortals to celebrities and stars. For example, even Tony and Sherry Blair listen to the opinion of a certain Carol Caplin, who chooses lipstick for Mrs. Blair and recommends a Japanese massage to Mr. Blair.
But in celebrity cases, the advice and guidance is more helpful than harmful. Stylists, make-up artists, nutritionists turn out to be assistants, they not only save time for celebrities and just busy people, but also help to make the right choice.
Imagine that you are a TV presenter of some very popular program (actress, business woman, famous writer...). You always need to look perfect not only in terms of figure, hairstyle, but also in terms of clothing and makeup. Of course, at first you will choose clothes yourself, but half a year will not pass - and you will have an urgent need for your own stylist and makeup artist. And it's not even that you have bad taste. You will simply get tired of constant shopping trips, and sometimes there is no time left for this at all.
Of course, you should not bring yourself to the state of inability to choose a new dress for yourself either - know when to stop! Sometimes it just gets ridiculous to see adults on television who need someone to tell them what color to choose lipstick or socks. It turns out that we are completely subordinate to the power of unrecognized authorities.
After all, if I want to cook something new from food, I don’t have to consult with an eminent chef at all, when choosing a new thing - with a connoisseur of fashion, and at the first manifestations of a cold in my baby - run to a neighbor who works as a nurse in the nearest clinic. I can resolve these issues on my own.
If you have your own taste, a head on your shoulders, a sense of style and time, as well as the ability and desire to try something new, it is not at all necessary to turn to someone for advice. You can try and experiment yourself. The main thing is not to be afraid and listen to yourself first of all. If you are sure that you can cope with this or that task, you will really cope with it.
Well, if there are really difficult to solve problems and questions - go to a psychologist or psychotherapist. In any case, it is better to get advice from highly qualified and educated specialists than from all-knowing neighbors. A psychologist will become a mirror for you, help you see yourself in a difficult situation. Moreover, you will find a way out of any situation by changing your own views, attitudes to what is happening, thoughts and actions.
"Ask for advice from someone who knows how to win over himself" Leonardo da Vinci once said.
And believe me, if you are used to running for advice all the time, you can wean yourself from this habit - you just have to want to.
