Children and adolescents often have a problem: they do not know how to persuade their parents to allow something or give exactly what they really want. Usually, younger children ask for some kind of animal or an expensive gift, while older children, in addition to an expensive present, have new reasons for disagreement with their parents: they want to go out late, wear what is fashionable among their peers, and stay overnight with friends. In most cases, such situations end in misunderstanding, often in conflicts, from which all family members suffer.
Who is to blame and what to do?
Before making a plan on how to persuade parents to comply with any request, it is important to understand that disagreements do not appear because mom and dad are sorry for something for their child, or they don’t love him. Adults and children have a very different outlook on life due to different experiences. And if a mother does not let her daughter go to a party of classmates with an overnight stay, then this is not out of a desire to constantly control her, but out of fear for the child's health. Only by accepting the fact that parents refuse something out of spite, you can proceed to planning negotiations.
It is more likely that the result of the conversation will be positive if you show the parents that their consent will not only bring pleasure to the child, but also benefit them.
How it works?
If you need to persuade parents on the phone, you can explain that the gadget is needed for communication, and with its help they can always find out where the child is. It’s more difficult when you want not just a “brick” mobile phone, but a smartphone worth ten thousand rubles or more. Here the procedure should be like this:
- Estimate the financial possibilities of the family. If the parents themselves use cheaper phones, they may simply not have the money for such a gift.
- If it is possible to buy an expensive phone and you want to persuade your parents to do this, you can argue that an expensive thing will teach frugality and accuracy, that classmates look down on them because their phones are better.
It is important to listen carefully to the answers of the parents so that you can reasonably object to them, otherwise the conversation will resemble a child's tantrum: "I want, and nothing else worries me!". In this case, the probability of success is extremely small.
What if the parents don't have money?
If parents do not have the opportunity to purchase an expensive phone, you can try to at least partially earn on it by handing out flyers or putting up ads. If there is no way to earn money, start saving pocket money. When a child shows that he is ready to invest his salary / savings in the purchase, this indicates that a new phone is not a momentary whim for him.
Another option on how to persuade parents to give such a gift is to ask for it for a birthday or New Year. Usually some amount is set aside by these dates, this increases the chance of success. A birthday is preferable, since many people need to be congratulated on the New Year, respectively, less money is allocated for each gift.
The most common problem
One of the most common problems is figuring out how to persuade parents to buy a dog. Many children ask for a puppy, but few parents heed these requests. The reasons have long been known: the dog will bark, there will be hair everywhere from it, you need to walk with it in any weather, spend money on food, vaccinations, a veterinarian and ammunition. And most importantly, taking care of the dog will fall on the shoulders of the parents, no matter what the child says, no matter what promises he makes.
Some breeders don't sell puppies to people who say they're getting a pet for a child. They know that sooner or later the child will get tired of the dog or he will grow up (and dogs live 14-16 years), leave to study. The dog will become useless and may end up in a shelter or on the street. Often parents themselves do not realize what responsibility falls on them with the appearance of a dog in the house.
Solutions
How to persuade parents to buy a dog when there are so many difficulties? There are reasonable arguments for everything:
- If parents are not satisfied with barking, wool and large sizes, you can choose a breed that meets their requirements. By talking not about a dog in general, but about a specific breed, you can show your knowledge and a serious approach to business.
- If there is a problem with finances, you can earn extra money or postpone the purchase of a dog. If there is enough pocket money, offer parents to keep the animal on them.
- Most often, the problem of how to persuade parents to get a dog is due to the fact that parents do not want caregiving to fall on them. In this case, you will have to prove your readiness for the constant fulfillment of some obligations. For example, start helping around the house on a regular basis.
If the first time did not work, do not be offended or blame the parents. Perhaps we should revisit the conversation later.
How to persuade parents to let go to friends with an overnight stay
As children grow up, they want more independence. Sooner or later, almost everyone has a moment when they ask their parents to let them leave the house for the night. Most parents perceive this "with hostility." In such a situation, it should be remembered that this is not done out of malice. Who has not heard about smoking and drinking at such gatherings, and even teenage pregnancies after them? Parents are anxious, so the surest way to get their consent is to keep anxiety to a minimum. This must be taken care of in advance.
The first thing to rule out is bad company. It is advisable to introduce your parents to your friends in advance (at least with some) and try to make them develop good impression. It is equally important to leave them the address where friendly gatherings will take place and the phone number of the host (girlfriend, friend or their parents), and also agree to call every hour.
What to do if you are not allowed to go to the camp?
How to persuade parents to go to a summer camp if they are categorically against it, despite the fact that classmates, guys from the yard or best friend are going there?
Usually parents' anxiety is caused by the fact that they will be far away and will not be able to quickly come to the rescue. Less often there is a problem with money. If the parents said that there is no money, then you can look for a more budget option, for example, a summer school camp. You can earn extra money in the first half of the summer, and in August go to work. Of course, you first need to ask your parents if they can add the missing amount.
If the reason is that they are afraid to leave the child unattended for a whole month, you can be reminded that there are counselors in the camp. It is advisable to choose an option about which there are many good reviews, including from friends who have been there.
In any situation where a disagreement arises, it is important to remember that an argumentative conversation is more likely to produce a good result than yelling and fighting.
Hello dear members of the forum, I will tell a little about our story about a dream come true to move to the village)
I dreamed of living in the village from the age of 20, I lived in the village for a short time, I had a cow and three pigs, a few chickens, a garden, but unfortunately the circumstances were such that I had to leave for the city.
There were a lot of things) as they say, fire and water and burning huts went through) BUT I won’t talk about this, off topic, and how many people have so many fates)
I got married already with two children, older girls) Through the prayers of my grandmother, God sent me a wonderful husband) Smart, kind, cheerful, jack of all trades and loving of course) He is completely urban, born and raised in St. Petersburg) we began to go to my village every summer with children) then we had two boys and a dog) My husband was very critical of the village at first, then he gradually got involved, building something (he loves it very much), but he couldn’t even think to live in his house) and then, after a few years, he began to understand the advantages of a private house (not life in the village) He began to dream of building a house)
The year 2014 has come... the crisis is on its heels! somehow things didn’t go according to work and the work was not the same as before, the husband began to get tired psychologically a little, he began to talk about changing the type of activity ... But he loves construction very much and is perfectly versed in his business and I have not seen him in anything else ... Before that, I never insisted on leaving for the village, secretly dreaming that my husband himself would want, because if a person does not want, then he will still not be nice, but I wanted the whole family to be happy!
So this is how it was during a conversation when the husband again raised the topic that he was tired of guest workers who do not know how to do anything, from customers who only want to reduce their costs and from traffic jams, etc.
I started talking about the fact that if there is no work, then it will be hard for us with the children, we need to feed them, well, it’s clear that with such hands and brains as my husband’s, we wouldn’t be hungry and as soon as the baby grew up I would immediately go to work anywhere ... at least wash the floors ... but there is no stability and for an apartment of 10 thousand a month, in short, she led, led such a conversation and blurted out that it would not be bad to move to the land and to an ecologically clean place, that the land will always feed + work, of course !) began to describe all the pluses, of course, she also spoke about the problems, he listened ...) Agreed that if there is an option, you can try)
Then I started looking) and my mania began) at night I dug the Internet, read aloud about people who moved to the village or about those who really want it, in order to strengthen their confidence that we are not the only ones) and searched) I found an option that us interested, and in August, leaving the village, we stopped by (not far there) on the ad) my husband liked it so much that he immediately said put the apartment up for sale) I spoke with the children, asked for an opinion, talked about the advantages of village life) Lucky) The kids supported, could and do not try) They love my nature and lived with pleasure all summer in the village and did not want to leave in the fall)
Oh yes, it’s clear that all this is not done quickly, but I so much wished for this and believed that this was the right decision, that I didn’t think how long it could take, it seemed that if the decision was right, then God would arrange everything) And He arranged it) But not at all like that )
She put the apartment up for sale and began to move) But then suddenly the seller abruptly changes his mind to temporarily sell the house that we liked! Shock! horror! but ... My husband was so infected with this idea, he got sick, you can say that he said, don’t be upset, we’ll find another) True, they tried to contact the owners for a long time to find out what happened and can persuade ... it didn’t work out, worries ... They started looking again. .. in the same direction, yet we know everything there and our native places ... along the way, thinking about how we will live on earth and what to do) The husband is very responsible and for him this is a very serious step ... so he prefers to think and calculate everything ) and I'm impulsive) and everything to me at once) This is how we complement each other)
We traveled a lot of houses, my husband looked at the houses like a scanner and immediately saw what problems and whether it was worth buying such a house) Some houses in front of us directly paid a deposit and we didn’t have time to look at them (although I recently saw them for sale again and I regard them as nothing more than something that God took it)
Then I find out that a city will be built in that place and it will be industrial, and of course, there is no talk of any kind of ecology, and that's it ... a dead end? No, they started looking in one of the eco-friendly areas and not far from St. Petersburg - Pskov region) It was important for my husband that the house to the site had water, a river or a lake) they began to wool near Lake Peipsi, but it’s expensive and very dilapidated houses, but it’s winter and we wouldn’t take risks with the kids in such conditions ... We made a list of what we want to have and what should be nearby) and searched for these parameters) I clicked on Yandex real estate and determined the areas on the map around the rivers and lakes of the Pskov region and then checked ads) Again, several good options went out from under the nose, found one option that my husband really liked, but not me) he considered from the technical side that the house is ideal) Brick with 5 rooms and water and steam heating, in general, the house is good, of course, but 15 acres! for me it’s very little, but I didn’t argue, my husband will be happy with this house, I decided, and I live on earth) and if the parents are happy, then the children too) but doubts overcame me ... the house is not cheap, but in plans to buy a newer car because ours is already old, in the village there is no place without a car, and the village is so huge ... everything was agreed and they began to sell the house more actively, because there seems to be an option) I say to my husband: well, we will buy this house, and also car and then what? there is no land! you need to buy or rent, then build a barn and buy animals, but it seems that there will be no more money! Let's say we'll look again, if we don't find it, then buy this house! my husband agreed and started looking again, again trips with my youngest son almost 2-3 times a week!
And then one day we went to see the house in which we now live! we looked at that day 2 more options and this came to this late, the owner, 70 years old grandfather met us in the nearest small town! and rightly assumed that at night we wouldn’t see anything there and we should spend the night and watch in the morning) well, of course it’s better, especially since the baby is completely tired! rented a hotel room, spent the night and went to see! We arrived at the village, stopped, got out of the car, and in front of this house there is a beautiful view of the lake with swans) It took my breath away, the owner immediately led me to the lake, and I stood on the road and cried ... imagine the feeling that now I wandered for a long time and finally came home! I felt HOME! cried and thanked God that he brought us here) and when we looked at the whole farm, our eyes lit up in general) 2 houses, a bathhouse on the lake, a plot of 1.5 hectares adjacent to the lake) almost 100 apple trees and PASEKA) of course it was the most the best place and it was not a pity to change the apartment for this particular place, in a small village of 20 houses) and when you go out to the lake and only on our site open outlet to the lake, (for others it is overgrown with forest), it feels like the lake is only ours) there are no houses on the shores) the lake is small, not deep and with clean drinking water) and there is a field behind the site) and when I found out that the school bus carries children from us to school, it’s just that all the items on our list were underlined) These are miracles)
Of course, we told the owner what we would like to buy, but we have an apartment for sale and we need to wait ... it wasn’t there) the grandfather got caught so that mom don’t cry) businessman) says no, dear, I won’t wait, I don’t accept deposits, bring money and sell)
oooooh) what have we suffered) and then after buying a house, this grandfather shook our nerves for us) but these are already trifles and we they said thank you for such a nice house! when they came to congratulate on NG) he certainly kept the house in the master's hands) but now we have a client for an apartment (which suggests that we still found the very place and God approves and arranges everything) but everything is not so fast) and we nevertheless, already on the verge of nerves) and we don’t want the house to be sold not to us) in general, the husband borrows money from a friend for the sale of an apartment and we buy this house)! and after 4 days we moved to our new house) and my husband solved issues with the sale and everything else) on the 27th it will be 10 months. how we live here) have grown here with all our hearts) even older children really like it) The school is very good with teachers from the Soviet school, when there was at least some kind of education and children are seriously taught here, unlike our city school) But minus there are children missing their city friends!
In the city, in such a time, we would all have already been ill five times) here, not even once! settling down, making plans, setting up) plans include a cow and a couple of pigs, a few rams and chickens, geese) of course, not all at once, gradually) Here we got another cat and another puppy) I don’t know what will happen next and how ours will develop here life, what children will say when they grow up and what difficulties await ... I know one thing we are happy, we are very good! And for some reason God led us to this decision and to this place) means that it will be ...
We came to earth not for wealth) but for the stability and health of our children... physical and psychological) To achieve harmony of body and soul)
I apologize for the mistakes and confusion
