A. N. Radishchev spoke words confirming the truth that
You can become a person only if you understand another person. Radishchev studied the problem of mutual understanding between people. Today it has not lost its relevance, because every day we have to contact with other people.
Only in the case of mutual understanding, the conversation takes on a positive connotation, but if there is no understanding, then the conversation most often comes to a standstill. The meaning lurking in this statement is that a person who does not understand others, who does not strive to perceive the opinions of other people, who does not have the ability to listen and sympathize with the people around him, is not included in the number of humane, highly moral individuals.
The author is right. Due to misunderstanding of other people, there are negative consequences in society. People who are only interested in personal gain are otherwise called "egoists." Often such individuals do not have the ability to suppress their pride, listen to the opinions of others, so they consider their opinion the only
true. The inability to understand each other becomes a cause for conflicts, or the height of enmity. The ability to listen to other people, empathize with their experiences and penetrate the ideas of others is given the role of a huge valuable gift. A very good quality is the ability to understand other people. It is important for each person to have it in order to speak with other people in a language understandable to all, coming to a compromise.
M. Yu. Lermontov in the work “A Hero of Our Time” created the image of a person pursuing only his own interests. Pechorin did not understand other people. It is worth recalling in this regard the feelings of Bella, which he used as a personal toy, which eventually got bored with the hero and thrown away. This story ends tragically. The reader understands what is fraught with a selfish attitude towards the people around you.
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It is misunderstanding that is the cause of many conflicts and leads to real confusion. As a result, we misinterpret the intentions of other people, we lose the ability to perceive objectively the reality around us. Misunderstanding makes communication between people impossible.
How to reach understanding
In order to look at the situation objectively, it is necessary to move away from it as far as possible. Try to see it as something extraneous, not related to you. This will allow you to more objectively interpret what is happening.
Unfortunately, quite often our purest and most sincere feelings towards loved ones are accompanied by misunderstanding.
As a result, many people desire the return of those who were once allowed to leave. And some of us want to return, but we do not dare to do it.
It is misunderstanding that is the cause of many conflicts and leads to real confusion. As a result we misinterpret other people's intentions, we lose the ability to perceive the reality around us objectively. Misunderstanding makes communication between people impossible.
You may have heard this statement once:
“In what we think, in what we want to say, in what we think we are saying, and in what we actually say, and also in what we want to hear and hear, that, how we think we understand, and what we actually understand, there are eight probabilities of misunderstanding.
The chasm caused by pride
Misunderstanding can be provoked by our pride, fatigue, distrust of others and ourselves.
This cocktail prevents us from correctly interpreting the tone of voice of the interlocutor, ambiguous phrases. As a result, we see hostility where there is none.
How can this be avoided? We need to be aware of what is happening, and not let vague feelings lead us away. Before drawing conclusions, you need to correctly assess the condition of other people and yourself.
As a rule, a cold heart allows us to look at conflicts from a different angle, as a result of which they cease to seem so dramatic to us. In this case, we do not allow pride, anger and anger to overshadow our mind. This helps us to perceive the problem more objectively.
Pride vs Dignity - What's the difference?
It is very important to be able to see the difference between these two concepts. Pride is a negative feeling based on selfishness. Dignity is a feeling on which respect is based.
Our pride often prevents us from objectively analyzing both the opinions of those around us and our own beliefs and feelings.
Dignity, on the other hand, allows us to achieve inner balance, which helps us establish emotional boundaries that protect our identity.
It is worth noting that it is not so easy to know what exactly underlies our actions - pride or dignity. As a rule, dignity seeks to establish a balance and equality between opinions, feelings and actions. Pride always strives to dominate.
How to reach understanding
As we have already said, it is not at all easy to achieve understanding when our communication is based on different realities.
We can talk about our thoughts and feelings many times, while our interlocutor is unable to correctly perceive what was said.
The reason for this is not at all the shortcomings of the person who is next to us. It's just that our interlocutor is in a different place and looks at what is happening from a different perspective.
Each of us wants the interlocutor to understand and support our feelings, to share our opinions and beliefs. When we fail to achieve this, a serious barrier appears in the way of our mutual understanding.
Considering that it is impossible to completely control the factors that can disrupt communication, it is recommended to put emotions aside and look at the situation objectively. This will be the first step towards mutual understanding.
In order for us to solve this difficult puzzle correctly, our actions must be based on respect and attention both to ourselves and to the people around us.
Be responsible in what you say
The degree of misunderstanding and anger depends on how strong emotions a problem arouses in us., which we can call our interlocutor.
The more unity we feel with this person, the greater will be our mutual understanding, the better our interlocutor will be able to interpret our message, and we - his answer.
The reliability of the interpretation of the words of another person depends on how close the relationship binds us to him, on the degree of empathy that both experience, on what we expect from this relationship, as well as on our own interests and our state at the moment.
In this situation, it is very important not to allow yourself to be “infected” with the emotional state of another.
If we allow the whirlwind of the interlocutor's feelings to invade our peaceful waters, there is a high probability of an internal protest that appears automatically.
Misunderstanding, giving rise to negative emotions in relation to ourselves and others, becomes very painful.
If you've become suspicious of dark intentions in the relationship that threaten to destroy your identity, it's best to put your emotions aside. At such a moment, it is better to step back and coolly look at all the differences. Remember that no one has the right to underestimate your needs.
Look at the words of people and look at their actions. This will allow you to discover their dark intentions. Of course we make mistakes from time to time we are not always able to correctly analyze and interpret the actions of others.
People very often do not appreciate what they have. Often swear, quarrel, incorrectly prioritize. The most terrible quarrels arise between relatives, because misunderstanding can lead to enmity for life. Such an attitude spoils the mood, the perception of life and kills all aspirations in a person. This absolutely cannot be allowed, since the most faithful and loving people are our relatives.
Therefore, I want there to be more mutual understanding, respect and the desire to smooth out sharp corners. Since not a single enmity between relatives has led to anything good.
Final essay Why enmity arises between relatives
It is extremely important to love and respect your family. Native people are those who will come to your aid in a difficult life situation, these are the people who will love you regardless of time and circumstances. But, they say, there is only one step from love to hate. Very often, relatives begin to quarrel. It can come from hatred, from envy, from kits. Some people believe that relatives should do everything for them that they need. This attitude can lead to hostility. This is bad, and when the enmity has already begun, it is very difficult to re-establish relations, learn to forgive and appreciate people.
Often relatives begin to quarrel over inheritance. Money is an evil that can destroy all ties, destroy a warm and kind relationship. Money makes you lose your soulmate. Often people, because of greed, do not understand that they offend their relatives, who have always been with us and came to the rescue.
Hostile relationships make people angry. Enmity destroys families, spoils the mood, drives a person into a depressive state. In order to avoid this, I think that you need to learn not to envy your family, help each other and be more responsive. It is extremely important to learn to listen to each other and forgive. It is important to learn to forget grievances. It is important to believe that there will be no more bad deeds.
I want my family to never know anything about the feud. I want our family to always have a warm and trusting relationship. It is important for me that our family has a favorable climate. I want everyone in our family to help each other and not be offended by each other over trifles. If every family starts to live according to such principles, perhaps our world will become a little kinder and more positive, and enmity will be completely eradicated and will no longer knock on any family.
Arguments, thesis. Taras Bulba can be used as a work
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When people are too categorical to accept an alternative point of view, they often have conflicts with those who think differently than they do. The reason is that we cannot moderate the desire to win the argument and impose our rightness on everyone, so we begin to get angry and angry, just to prove our superiority. It is then that a simple misunderstanding leads to enmity.
To argue my position, I will give examples from the literature. In Bulgakov's dystopia "The Heart of a Dog", Professor Preobrazhensky and the people's representative Shvonder are at enmity. It cannot be said that Philip Philipovich was the initiator of the conflict, but his very presence irritated the working people. The proletarian activists hated the "bourgeois" way of life and oppressed those who adhered to it in every possible way. They did not understand that a researcher of this magnitude could not huddle in a hostel, because they had no education and did not recognize the value of scientific knowledge. The professor, on the contrary, was an intelligent man, but an old-fashioned one: he could not organically exist in the new reality. Preobrazhensky, in turn, did not understand what was the point of breaking the hierarchy and equating all people, because it is obvious that they are different. The enmity in this case appeared because Shvonder could not put up with the fact that the professor was “more equal than others”, and tried to harm him by writing slander and complaints. Philip Philipovich was forced to defend himself from attacks and also participate in the confrontation.
Another example can be found in Turgenev's Fathers and Sons. Pavel Petrovich and Yevgeny Vasilyevich also did not understand each other. They were representatives of different generations, so their views did not coincide. In addition, they belonged to different classes. One of them spent his whole life revolving in the world and made a career at court, the other set up experiments in the wilderness, giving preference to practically significant areas of activity. It would seem that they could confine themselves to a misunderstanding, but enmity arose. This happened because from words the opponents came to disputes, and from disputes to an armed clash. Both tried to assert themselves and overpower the enemy, constantly escalating the situation. As a result, they brought the conflict to the point that they could no longer get along in the same house.
When does misunderstanding between people lead to enmity? Examples from the literature show us that this happens when we are filled with pride or vanity and deliberately narrow our horizons to concepts that we recognize as perfect. It is then that a person cannot allow that there are those in the world who do not agree with him.
Interesting? Save it on your wall!Residents of Chechnya view the new protests in Ingushetia with restraint, regarding them as a political provocation by a narrow opposition group. The protests will not affect relations between the two peoples, Chechen activists and residents of the republic interviewed by the "Caucasian Knot" are sure.
As "" wrote, on March 26, residents of Ingushetia, demanding the resignation of Yunus-Bek Yevkurov, without the permission of the authorities, extended a protest action organized by the "Support of Ingushetia" movement on the square in Magas. This led to clashes with the security forces. The protesters left the square on March 27 after protest leaders urged the protesters to disperse. Later, hundreds of people blocked the Kavkaz highway at the entrance to Nazran for several hours. On the night of March 28, motorists held a mass spontaneous motor rally in Nazran, after which additional detachments of security forces were seconded to the city. March 29 Yevkurov accused the leaders of the Ingush protest of irresponsibility
A round-the-clock protest against the change of the border with Chechnya was held in the capital of Ingushetia from 4 to 17 October 2018. The protesters demanded a referendum on the issue of the border and the resignation of the head of the republic. The "Caucasian Knot" maintains an updated chronicle "".
Chechens do not perceive the rallies in Ingushetia as a reproach against them, since they see in these protests only an internal political conflict in the neighboring republic, the head of the Assembly of Peoples of the Caucasus believes Ruslan Kutaev .
“Past rallies and new rallies are the desire of one politicized part of the Ingush elite to remove the head of the republic. The transfer of land is an excuse to "shake" Yevkurov's chair, to get the federal center to replace the head of the republic. In Chechnya, they do not see the difference between (last year's and current) rallies and do not perceive them as a reproach against the Chechens,” he told the “Caucasian Knot” correspondent.
There will be no contradictions at the level of peoples, Kutaev believes. “Nothing can discredit the relations between the Ingush and the Chechens, I am convinced of this. We are so interconnected that one or two [private] conflicts will not affect the relations of peoples. Suppose there is a quarrel between a group of Ingush and a group of Chechens, but no matter how loud this conflict is, it cannot quarrel entire peoples bound by fraternal historical ties,” the head of the Assembly of Peoples of the Caucasus is convinced.
During the autumn rallies of 2018 in Ingushetia, residents of the two republics expressed their claims to each other, an employee of a Chechen NGO noted Idris . "There was strong tension, it came to mutual accusations and threats, it's good that everything was limited to this. Now everything has started again in a new way, and this cannot but be alarming," he told the "Caucasian Knot" correspondent.
A new round of rallies in Ingushetia did not surprise anyone in Chechnya, although the residents of Chechnya do not share the logic of the Ingush opposition, a Chechen human rights activist believes Aset Malsagova .
“Last year, the Chechens [hoped] that the Ingush would come to their senses, because in 1992 [the Chechens] were happy to hand over the Sunzhensky and Malgobek regions to Ingushetia. But the new round of rallies did not surprise anyone, and the slogans heard at it about the resignation of the leadership highlight the true goals of the organizers,” Malsagova told the “Caucasian Knot” correspondent.
Disputes between Chechnya and Ingushetia over the ownership of the Sunzhensky and Malgobek regions have been ongoing since the mid-1990s, according to the "Caucasian Knot" report "Territorial disputes between Ingushetia and Chechnya".
New rallies of the Ingush opposition are perceived calmly in Chechnya. “Chechens are not afraid of growing tension and friction between our peoples, people understand the essence and background of these intrigues,” Malsagova said.
The teacher of the Grozny school agrees with the opinion of Aset Malsagova Petimat . "The fact that Ingushetia raises this issue of borders time after time causes irritation," the woman told the "Caucasian Knot" correspondent.
On the "Caucasian Knot" you can get acquainted with the full text of the Agreement on fixing the border between Chechnya and Ingushetia with annexes to it (a map and a geodetic description of the border). Also, the "Caucasian Knot" posted the material "Dispute over the Chechen-Ingush border: arguments of the parties".
Representative of the Assembly of the Peoples of the Caucasus in the international organizations of Europe Nasir Buluev I am sure that there will be no conflict between Chechens and Ingush.
“I do not think that the protesters express the opinion of the majority of the Ingush. (They) are trying to turn the youth against the Chechens. There will be no war between Chechens and Ingush. You can see how calmly the Chechens react to this, they can gather a million rallies in a day, but they do not do this so as not to provoke the Ingush. The Ingush themselves must figure out who is their friend and who is their enemy,” the activist told the “Caucasian Knot”.
A resident of Chechnya expressed a similar opinion about the protests in Ingushetia Salavdi . "The Ingush opposition has its own goals, it's a pity that two fraternal peoples are drawn into these squabbles. Now the Ingush side again demands to cancel the agreement [on the border], plus remove Yevkurov," Salavdi told the "Caucasian Knot" correspondent ".
