If you don't get paid
Or the director offended you,
Or grandchildren did not give
You sleep peacefully all night,
Come to class ten
Or the eleventh even
And put the medalists
A couple of twos just like that.
That's when the director comes
To apologize to you
The head teacher will come running now,
Bring a bouquet of flowers.
Fighting mood
Will return to you immediately
And returning home to grandchildren
give cuffs.
START LESSON
Hello children! Hurry up and sit down
And let's get straight to the point.
We are talking, as usual, about granite.
Teeth, I hope, are intact for this?
SURVEY
You should have learned this at home.
But you, I'll tell you straight
Knowledge resistance in ohms
Significantly higher than that of tungsten.
CHECKING THE NOTEBOOKS
Put whatever mark you want
If there are a lot of deuces for him?
Chickens are probably among the ancestors,
Judging by the handwriting and the mind.
Okay, I'll open another notebook,
This one is written legibly.
So ... "Usny brush" - what is it?
Something about a brushy mustache?
COMPLETING THE MAGAZINE
There are no fives or twos today,
And performance has become even.
Well, that's great, so I'm a carpenter
In terms of the ability to cut logs.
All teacher humor
We about T we fill in the four
Right from morning to evening.
Well, more in our school
There seems to be nothing to do.
E. Krupchatnikov
Ah, our teachers!
Well, the same persistent people!
No sickness, no misfortune -
Nothing takes them!
Eight troubles - one answer!
I'm going to the teacher's meeting!
Let everyone scold me there,
I don't know fear!
There is a pine tree on the mountain
Cherry under the mountain.
Our school is great!
And the facade came out.
Very trendy mini skirts
Mini dresses, mini coats.
And salaries have become mini:
Tryn-grass in front of the school
Flowers don't grow
Though they are sown every year
At this trendy point.
Russians are strong people
Oh, desperate people!
He is robbed and fooled
And he dances and sings!
I come to school in the morning
Fresh, cold.
And I'm leaving school
Blue-green!
In the morning I go to school
Curls and curls!
I will take seven lessons -
Legs don't bend!
The head teacher walks, the head teacher walks,
Walking, smiling.
Oh, I'm afraid that's not good:
A storm is brewing.
I went to the dining room
Didn't find anything there.
Two dry cakes
Well, more than a fig!
I paid my salary
To my daughter Alla.
She bought for it
Eskimo on a stick.
I received a salary.
One hundred purchases planned
Brought her home
There is no purchase of any.
E. Kovaleva
Original:
Artist: Leonid Utesov
Everything is fine! You are a wonderful teacher.
The lesson is good for sure.
Not a single unfortunate surprise
except for the blank:
Your oral survey will be delayed
and did not grow up to the methods,
The answers are full of water,
and discipline is nowhere
And there are no interdisciplinary connections -
what does the teacher's council teach you?
Don't use a codoscope
questions are asked in the forehead,
interactive board
not applied yet.
Don't check your diaries
clearly not ready for the lesson!
Other than that, you are a great teacher!
Everything is fine! Everything is fine!
B. Titov
I go to class boldly
I'm not afraid of students.
If I leave this case -
There will be more fools.
I dictated a dictation
I was in a hurry
How to read the work
And so she shed a tear.
There is a pine tree on the mountain
Cherry under the mountain.
Our school is great!
And the facade came out.
Very trendy mini skirts
Mini dresses, mini coats.
And salaries have become mini:
One, another - and not in sight.
The head teacher grieved bitterly:
There were few children in the school.
Fizruk gave the order:
Send us all on decree.
Who releases the kids
He receives gifts.
And who taught them for years -
I did not receive anything.
Hundreds of books in the library
From the shelves they look pitifully:
Everyone hopes to see
Here readers-guys.
It's good to live in our century -
There is a photocopier in the library.
Children do not read books
They only ride on a copier.
Funny ditties
Teacher's Day.
1. Congratulations on Teacher's Day
We have come to you today.
Wish you great success
To teach us better.
2. Our school is the best
And in the dining room they feed everyone,
And we have a platform
And we don't count the guys.
3. Our teacher is very strict
We didn't go to class!
How happy he was
What is freed from us!
4. Of course we love school,
Our dear school!
Although dragged to this school
Some by force.
5. I am sitting in the lesson,
I look at the teacher.
I like the teacher
When he doesn't fight.
6. Me the teacher on the blackboard
Wrote an assignment
Well, I sit in anguish,
On the face of suffering.
7. We are no strangers to deuces,
Twos are so easy to grab
You don't need to learn anything
That's what the reward is for.
8. I will learn to distinguish
Suffixes with prefixes, -
Mom will give me
Yogurts with additives!
9. In school uniform I go
All so solid.
I'll smear the jacket with glue,
I'll fill it with jam.
10. My day is scheduled according to notes,
I am a good student!
Why on Saturdays
Does dad dream about my diary?
11. I ran to change,
Knead your body
He leaned his forehead against the wall,
What I learned - I forgot again!
12. If somewhere thundered,
Don't be too scared,
Then a little frolic
We just wanted.
13. And the director of our school
Suddenly he issued this order:
If you get a hundred fives,
He'll give you chocolate!
14. Thank you for science,
Wise teachers.
Because we understand
You are not chasing us in vain.
15. We sang to you from the bottom of our hearts,
School ditties.
We are not so tired -
Pity your ears!
Chastushki about ditties, about teachers, about being late, about love, about friendship, about school, about a diary, about fighters, about change, about clothes and fashion, about deuces, about fives, about mathematics, about the Russian language, about physical education and sports , about English, about geography, about school items, about the exam, about first graders, comic ditties about school, ditties with names, about concerts and performances, about holidays and graduation.
School ditties about ditties
| We'll sing ditties to you School - cool, So that you don’t get bored on Knowledge Day, Yes, we are remembered! We composed ditties Oh, ditties are good, Old people and kids Where are you, sponsor, show up, Lost our harmonist | We are girly girls We are always cheerful We will sing ditties to you now, Yes, school work. Me and my friend Lisa Our heels are knocking We love to sing ditties Oh, from Olya, like from a cannon, | The teacher told us all compose ditties, And a bear came to me I put my paw on my ears. I compose ditties For ditties here And in Voronezh we have We all live in Klichev. |
School ditties about teachers
| Thank you for science Wise teachers. Because we understand You didn't drive us in vain. Our teacher is very strict Sparrows came to school Me the teacher at the blackboard | And Irina Nikolaevna He loves silence very much. Why doesn't he like to make noise? Well, I don't understand. For the first teacher I go to school in the morning | Being a teacher is not easy Just read your subject. The teacher must teach How do we act in life. Happy Teacher's Day I'm sitting in class |
School ditties about being late
School ditties about love
School ditties about friendship
Ditties about school
School ditties about the diary
School ditties about fighters
School ditties about change
| Our teacher in silence Explains the topic... And the neighbor whispers to me: That would be a change! Ride cool on the parquet! Lesha is ours at recess In the classroom yesterday Cause time is an hour of fun! | Our teacher beyond the threshold, We've finished the lesson We open the cell phone We all play on bluetooth. Now the bell has rung Vova is ours at recess Valya, Sasha, Radik, Senya What's that noise? What's the cry? | I ran to change Knead your body He leaned his forehead against the wall, What I learned - I forgot again! Everyone sings to music The office rumbles We made a little noise - Light rushes around the school |
School ditties about clothes and fashion
School ditties about deuces
| We are not used to deuces, Twos are so easy to grab You don't need to learn anything That's what the reward is for. I'm not ready for the lesson Did not answer about fairy tales Vitya does not like our poetry, For control Petrusha Everyone is equal in our school - You have the same deuces, | I got four Praise Mila. And in fact this There were two ratings. I came today sad Learned very quickly Became clear to Anton Oh save! Oh save! Masha hid in the pantry I gave to write off on the control | "I know everything, I promise" Repeats our Noskov. And how will you answer- Master deuce to receive. Ruslan has no patience, My friend and I were walking I have two in my notebook Igor decided to joke Who has dogs, cats, |
School ditties about fives
| The diary contains homework assignments. And there are "fives" nearby. How good are they! Come on, mom, sign! In our school I'm not lazy And our school principal | We sang ditties for a long time, And now we want to say: "Hurry, grab a pen and in the diary put us FIVE !!! We rush teachers I really like to study | In our school, everyone is an artist, They love to sing and dance. Well, of course, in the classroom We answer five. Katka is a white crow! How to get fives |
School ditties about mathematics
| And in mathematics We draw squares Circles and rhombuses… Where can we find the bomb? Nikolai solved the example I added, multiplied, subtracted, write off math "Blendamed" and even chewing gum | I teach math Three hundred and forty days a year! The remaining twenty days I just think about her. There is an aspen on the mountain, Masha cram the formula Our teacher in class | Math is hard She is known to all. Let's think and guess How do we solve problems. Vanya is learning theorems, At the math lesson I cannot learn |
School ditties about the Russian language
| Teach to distinguish Suffixes with prefixes Mom will give me Yoghurts with additives. Our Ilya is a super-agile goalkeeper, We are in Russian | Letters in the machine notebook They don't stand like in a parade. Letters jump and dance They wave their tails. We wrote an essay Our chicken is spotted | Wake me up at night In the very middle I'll tell you the alphabet Without one hitch! I mother tongue Somehow Olya got |
School ditties about physical education and sports
| I love physical education I can walk on my hands! Only here's the trouble Legs do not carry there! I love school the most Train our muscles In gym class There is no better Vanya at school | In gym class All without a form we sit, And on the teacher's biceps We look excitedly. In gym class Tolya boasted to the guys Dirty Pasha looks proudly | Legs are long, big, I train on the run. Why then lame My progress? We all love to walk - How much, Vova, can you Our life is easy and smooth |
School ditties about English
School ditties about geography
Funny ditties about school subjects
| I study science I get a lot of knowledge. Here I blew up the floor of the school! What a chemistry! Somehow we are in chemistry We are in informatics Sweetheart in a white apron I couldn't learn Alas, alas, alas and ah! | On botany we are all Leaning against the desks... about living organisms Dreams of color dreamed! At the drawing lesson Anatomy, science, - I know the laws of physics I'm in a textbook I know Napoleon At the lesson of M.H.K. | At work all the girls Embroider together. Well, poor boys They carry weights. They sewed an apron at work, We tried very hard And how they began to try on - They got lost themselves. I've been screaming all day They say to Pythagoras Let's go to history How many years before Andromeda Petya ran away from music, |
School ditties about the exam
School ditties about first graders
| I'm seven years old And I'm not happier! Look what a miracle - My first class bouquet! I go to school with flowers New uniform put on If you want to know a lot | Mom braided her hair Straightened the bows Gave a brand new satchel - Sent to first class! The backpack is a miracle! But, Knapsack, copybooks, notebooks - | Hurry up, call, We've been waiting for you. After all, on our first lesson We've been going for a year. I have a primer in my briefcase Alphabet from "A" to "Z" |
Comic ditties about school
| We sat in class And looked out the window. We got bored in class And dreamed of going home! In the classics it's easy - Hurray! — It's good to be a bird Firewood is on the grass Spotted woodpecker with a sharp beak | What kind of whisper is heard in the classroom? Who's stopping us like this? Our friend is tired Once with a friend on April Fool's Day All the guys in our class | They say I'm fighting Well, what is this nonsense! I'm dumb in class Fighting is to my detriment. We learn every day Teachers moan, cry, We are in the field at the state farm |
School ditties with names
| Our Andrew this week I handed the notebook to the teacher. He doesn't know what to do with her Clean, wash or launder. Seryozha walked in the park At the lesson, our Seryozha The earring was called to the board, Dima developed a good ear. Who is pushing in the buffet? Waiting for an answer from Marina Oh, we don't like it when Pasha | Our ancestors painted Dinosaurs on the rock 21st century. - Vignettes Tolya draws on the table. Dinosaurs are our ancestors Our Tanechka is a talker, Kolya came out to answer I sit at a desk with Roma. All programs indiscriminately Never in our class Our Krista, like a spinning top, | Heroically Lena with laziness Fought all day But, much to my dismay, Lena won laziness. Serezha has no hearing Although the grades are not very Katya's bitter grief, Elya and Zhenya at the lesson Teacher Sveta says: Shaking and shaking the briefcase Taras, Gosh toils, sighs |
School ditties about holidays and graduation
School ditties about concerts and performances
| All through tonight Tried not to fall asleep Me for the school play I got used to the role of the Owl! We were told to act The choir performed today Oh, our artist Lena, At the gala today | Me and my friend Tamara We sing songs with a guitar. Songs "self-made", Quite splendid! We can sing all day At ditty concerts On tour we want We are from our pop stars | We are singers and musicians We love performing! We are folk talents Our land is famous for us! About your childish deeds Oh, I'm completely pissed off. |
If you don't get paid
Or the director offended you,
Or grandchildren did not give
You sleep peacefully all night,
Come to class ten
Or the eleventh even
And put the medalists
A couple of twos just like that.
That's when the director comes
To apologize to you
The head teacher will come running now,
Bring a bouquet of flowers.
Fighting mood
Will return to you immediately
And returning home to grandchildren
give cuffs.
Teacher's Day
START LESSON
Hello children! Hurry up and sit down
And let's get straight to the point.
We are talking, as usual, about granite.
Teeth, I hope, are intact for this?
SURVEY
You should have learned this at home.
But you, I'll tell you straight
Knowledge resistance in ohms
Significantly higher than that of tungsten.
CHECKING THE NOTEBOOKS
Put whatever mark you want
If there are a lot of deuces for him?
Chickens are probably among the ancestors,
Judging by the handwriting and the mind.
Okay, I'll open another notebook,
This one is written legibly.
So ... "Usny brush" - what is it?
Something about a brushy mustache?
COMPLETING THE MAGAZINE
There are no fives or twos today,
And performance has become even.
Well, that's great, so I'm a carpenter
In terms of the ability to cut logs.
marvelous time
Is in the autumn of the original
Short but wonderful time!
There are magazines, but the boss does not call
Scold for the fact that they were not made yesterday.
Still willing to confer
Share plans, go to the teachers' council,
Although the recipe, how to deal with children
It didn't exist before, and it still doesn't.
Households are not angry with you yet,
That neither breakfast nor lunch is ready.
Allowed to breathe and occasionally laugh,
The beginning of the year - no losers!
Still don't have to spend a penny
Salary for posters, paints, chalk,
Screws, nails, slats, brooms, rulers -
You, fortunately, managed to do it on vacation.
And the head teacher is mentally still on a long trip,
He was kind to you today and yesterday.
Is in the autumn of the original
A short but wonderful time.
Teasers for the teacher
We took pencils
and then sharpeners
composed from the heart
teasers for the teacher.
Let them not be offended
and less nagging!
How to tease a school principal:
Tired of his children
He locked himself in the office
Crying and laughing
Spitting out of a tube!
How to tease a teacher in English:
How-how-doo-yu-doo!
I won't go to class!
'Cause it's cold outside
Face about table, yes of corz!
How to tease a botany teacher:
I collected herbarium
For a botany class
And accidentally dried
Daddy's underpants!
Our teacher lost
Surprise Points:
He didn't take that
Rare plant!
How to tease a literature teacher:
I don't understand guys.
Why drown Mumu?
Children cry and sob
Everyone goes home in tears
Let the teacher dive
For the drowned Muma!
How to tease a math teacher:
The sun came out from behind the clouds
Do not torture us with multiplication!
We multiply the mind by the mind -
We get "no boom-boom!"
How to tease an art teacher:
There is no Barmaley on the sheet
And not the fabulous Koschei,
And - no! - not Karabas at all!
I drew, teacher, you!
How to tease a labor teacher:
The teacher decided to show
How to hammer nails.
He hit the wall - beat, beat!
On the knee - beat, beat!
On the sofa - beat, beat!
On a glass - beat, beat!
Hands and brains
Didn't hit the nails!
How to tease a PE teacher:
He was scared guys
And climbed onto the rope
And hung from the ceiling
Pretending to be a spider!
How to tease a chemistry teacher:
He hit everyone on the forehead,
I took a big flask
Compote was cooked in that flask
Of the thirteen acids,
Quickly poured into the toilet -
Our school is no more!
(N. Khatkina)
Thoughts of an old teacher
« Best student mine is an engineer
The workers have him running errands.
Didn't I set him as an example! —
The old woman thought.
“It turned out to be a mess in life,
Well, not a mess, but something like:
My best
Sitting in rows
The worst ones enter the presidium.”
(A. Bragin)
Conclusion of the audit commission
(to the motive of the song "Everything is fine, beautiful marquise ...")
Everything is fine! You are a wonderful teacher. The lesson is good for sure.
Not a single unfortunate surprise, except for a trifle:
Your oral survey will be delayed and it has not matured to methods,
The answers are full of water, and discipline is nowhere,
And there are no interdisciplinary connections - what does the teachers' council teach you?
You do not use a codoscope, questions are asked in the forehead,
The interactive whiteboard is not applied yet.
You don’t check your diaries, you are clearly not ready for the lesson !!!
Other than that, you are a great teacher. All is well, all is well!
(B. Titov)
Holidays
The bell rang -
Vacation
The beginning is announced!
Tolya jumped wildly,
Olya screamed wildly.
And then they looked
And rushed to the street
From open doors.
Who is running the fastest of all?
Who flies, overtaking everyone
Fourteen paces?
No, not a Loser Tram,
Not an excellent student Chests,
And the teacher lower grades
Pyotr Antonovich Tarasov!
He is so happy about the holidays!
After all, for school days
He's tired of screaming
Especially jumping.
Tormented by smart words
Indefatigable Chests,
And the shy Tramvaev
Delivered without any words at all.
Our teacher is galloping,
The tie is beating on the chest.
Even shout, even jump,
And freedom ahead!
Petr Antonovich Tarasov
In class all summer long!
We wish you happiness
Our teacher dear!
(N. Khatkina)
March of educators
We are educators!
We are educators!
The students are merciless and strict!
Is it difficult for them?
Is it hard?
So they need it!
They have no mercy!
They have no mercy!!!
We have universal education forever on guard!
We will teach them!
We will show them!
Let's educate them!
This is our duty!
And our calling!
Let them moan!
Let them cry!
We give them a job!
We give them a task!
They can't find the right path without us!
We are educators!
We are educators!!!
(L. Sirota)
Guys
We are men, we work at school.
We do not hide labor corns.
Trudovik, physical education teacher and music teacher,
We are united by beer tummies!
(KVN jokes.)
Responsibility
You are neither young nor old. A wise age
(May you be far from children's fun and undertakings)
Even if you're drunk lying under the fence
You are still a teacher: you teach children.
(V. Berestov)
ungrateful teacher
My friend Petrov Kirill
I attached the button to the chair.
Only the teacher wanted to sit down
I managed to remove that chair,
Proud that this time,
So I saved the teacher.
He didn't say thank you
He sent me for my father.
(Lara Ivanovna)
old teacher
He took out a red pen from his pocket.
(the cap is green for some reason)
and put the usual squiggle.
How many million
he put the usual such squiggles
for seventy years of work!
Similar to such an open handcuff -
TROEK!
Not deuces, what are you!
(A. Givargizov)
teacher's dreams
Under reform-change
making distortions,
Everyone went into business...
Only I'm not brave.
There are many different things in the world
for any resident.
God once sent me
the humble work of a teacher!
Passing through the heat and cold
for four years
All girlfriends - gave her husband,
me - the diploma with a technique.
I don't close my eyes with them.
and things are urgent
And I write until midnight
lesson plans.
And what, tell me, for the sake of -
are dreams filled with them?
Here's a pack of notebooks
exchange for ... dollars!
Life would be fun
playing fate,
And things would go round
up in ascending order.
Nobody would be a thunderstorm for me,
sadness that heaven is unknown.
And the authorities would be in the eye
did not look faithfully.
I wouldn't grieve
would not wait for a subsidy,
I wouldn't care
and for ... certification.
Outside the window the light of the moon
over the white fields.
But here thoughts are horses
made a stop.
And interrupted jumble
grown up for a moment
It's just that Sash and Mash
you won't get out of your heart!
Thoughts rush hastily to the classroom,
like storytellers.
Without childish souls and eyes
do not live the teacher.
No calls and no ideas
thoughts and inspiration.
School is the world of children
rascals and geniuses.
This world is calling me
idle weekdays.
My soul sings in them
for different motives.
Is it with the truth of the times
can you do anything?
Who was born a teacher -
you can't change those!
(Z. Baeva)
