If Kostya Malinin and I had not managed to get two deuces in geometry at the very beginning of the school year, then perhaps nothing so incredible and fantastic would have happened in our life, but we got the deuces, and therefore the next day something happened to us something incredible, fantastic and even, one might say, supernatural! ..
At recess, immediately after this ill-fated event, Zinka Fokina, the head of our class, came up to us and said: “Oh, Barankin and Malinin! Oh what a shame! Shame on the entire school! Then she gathered the girls around her and began with them, apparently, to form some kind of conspiracy against Kostya and me. The meeting went on throughout recess until the bell rang for the next lesson.
During the same time, Alik Novikov, a special photojournalist of our wall newspaper, took a picture of us with Kostya and with the words: “The deuce is jumping! The deuce is rushing!”, stuck our faces to the newspaper, in the section “Humor and satire”.
After that Era Kuzyakina, Chief Editor wall newspapers, looked at us with a devastating look and hissed: “Oh, you! Such a newspaper has been ruined!”
The newspaper, which, according to Kuzyakina, was ruined by Kostya and me, looked really beautiful. It was all painted with multi-colored paints, in the most prominent place from edge to edge the slogan was printed in bright letters: “Study only for “good” and “excellent”! »
To be honest, our gloomy physiognomies of typical Losers really somehow did not fit with her elegant and festive look. I could not even stand it and sent Kuzyakina a note with the following content:
"Kuzyakina! I propose to remove our cards so that the newspaper will be beautiful again!
I underlined the word “beautiful” with two bold lines, but Erka only shrugged her shoulders and didn’t even look in my direction…
EVENT TWO
Don't even let me remember...
As soon as the bell rang from the last lesson, all the children rushed to the door in a crowd. I was about to push the door with my shoulder, but Erka Kuzyakina somehow got in my way.
- Do not disperse! Don't disperse! There will be a general meeting! she shouted and added in a sarcastic tone:
- Dedicated to Barankin and Malinin!
“And not a meeting,” shouted Zinka Fokina, “but a conversation!” A very serious conversation!.. Sit down!..
What started here! All the guys began to be indignant, slamming their desks, scolding Kostya and me and shouting that they would never stay. Kostya and I yelled, of course, the most. What are these other orders? They didn’t have time, one might say, to get deuces, and you immediately got a general meeting, well, not a meeting, so a “serious conversation” ... It remains to be seen which is worse. In past academic year it wasn't. That is, Kostya and I also had deuces last year, but no one made any fire out of this. They worked, of course, but not in this way, not right away ... They let me, as they say, come to my senses ... While such thoughts flashed through my head, the head of our class, Fokina, and the editor-in-chief of the wall newspaper, Kuzyakina, managed to “crush the rebellion” and forced all the guys to sit down. When the noise gradually died down and there was relative silence in the classroom, Zinka Fokina immediately began the meeting, that is, a “serious conversation” dedicated to me and my best friend Kostya Malinin.
Of course, it is very unpleasant for me to remember what Zinka Fokina and the rest of our comrades said about Kostya and me at that meeting, and, despite this, I will tell everything as it really was, without distorting a single word and without adding anything. Push…
EVENT THREE
How is it in opera...
When everyone sat down and there was silence in the class, Zinka Fokina shouted:
- Oh, guys! It's just some misfortune! The new academic year has not yet begun, and Barankin and Malinin have already managed to get two deuces! ..
A terrible noise immediately arose in the classroom again, but individual cries, of course, could be made out.
- In such conditions, I refuse to be the editor-in-chief of the wall newspaper! (This was said by Era Kuzyakina.) - And they also promised that they would improve! (Mishka Yakovlev.) - Unfortunate drones! Last year they were nursed, and again all over again! (Alik Novikov.) - Call the parents! (Nina Semyonova.) - Only our class is a disgrace! (Irka Pukhova.) - We decided to do everything “good” and “excellent”, and here you are! (Ella Sinitsyna.) - Shame on Barankin and Malinin!! (Ninka and Irka together.) - Yes, kick them out of our school, and that's it !!! (Erka Kuzyakina.) "Okay, Erka, I'll remember this phrase for you."
After these words, everyone yelled with one voice, so loudly that it was completely impossible for Kostya and me to make out who and what was thinking about us, although from individual words it was possible to catch that Kostya Malinin and I were blockheads, parasites, drones! Once again, fools, loafers, egoists! And so on! Etc!..
What annoyed me and Kostya most of all was that Venka Smirnov was yelling the loudest. Whose cow, as they say, would moo, but his would be silent. This Venka's performance last year was even worse than that of Kostya and me. Therefore, I could not stand it and also screamed.
“Redhead,” I shouted at Venka Smirnov, “and why are you yelling the loudest of all? If you were the first to be called to the board, you would not get a deuce, but a unit! So shut up in a rag.
“Oh, you, Barankin,” Venka Smirnov yelled at me, “I’m not against you, I’m yelling for you!” What am I trying to say, guys!.. I say: you can’t immediately call to the blackboard after the holidays. It is necessary that we first come to our senses after the holidays ...
- Smirnov! Zinka Fokina shouted at Venka.
“And in general,” Venka continued to shout at the whole class, “I suggest that during the first month no one should be asked any questions and that they should not be called to the blackboard at all! ..
“So you yell these words separately,” I shouted to Venka, “and not with everyone else together! ..
“Oh, be quiet, guys,” said Fokina, “shut up!” Let Barankin speak!
- What to say? - I said. - Kostya and I are not to blame that Mikhail Mikhalych called us to the blackboard first this academic year. I would first ask one of the excellent students, for example, Mishka Yakovlev, and it would all start with a five ...
Everyone began to make noise and laugh, and Fokina said:
- You better not joke, Barankin, but take an example from Misha Yakovlev.
- Just think, an example-minister! - I said not very loudly, but so that everyone could hear.
The guys laughed again. Zinka Fokina yelped, and Erka shook her head like a big one and said:
- Barankin! You'd better tell me when you and Malinin will correct your deuces?
- Malinin! I said to Costa. - Explain...
- What are you yelling at? Malinin said. We'll fix the two...
- Yura, when will we fix the deuces? Kostya Malinin asked me.
- And you, Malinin, do not have your head on your shoulders? Kuzyakina screamed.
“We’ll fix it in a quarter,” I said in a firm voice to bring final clarity to this issue.
- Guys! This is what happens? This means that our class must live through these unfortunate twos for the whole quarter!
- Barankin! - said Zinka Fokina. - The class decided that you correct the deuces tomorrow!
- Excuse me, please! I was outraged. - Tomorrow is Sunday!
- Nothing, take care of it! (Misha Yakovlev.) - So they need it! (Alik Novikov.) - Tie them to the desks with ropes! (Erka Kuzyakina.) - And if we don't understand the solution of the problem with Kostya? (I have already said this.) - And I will explain to you! (Misha Yakovlev.) Kostya and I looked at each other and said nothing.
Current page: 1 (total book has 8 pages) [available reading excerpt: 2 pages]
Valery MEDVEDEV
BARANKIN, BE A HUMAN!
PART ONE
BARANKIN, TO THE BOARD!
EVENT ONE
Two deuces!
If Kostya Malinin and I had not managed to get two deuces in geometry at the very beginning of the school year, then perhaps nothing so incredible and fantastic would have happened in our life, but we got the deuces, and therefore the next day something happened to us something incredible, fantastic and even, one might say, supernatural! ..
At recess, immediately after this ill-fated event, Zinka Fokina, the head of our class, came up to us and said: “Oh, Barankin and Malinin! Oh what a shame! Shame on the entire school! Then she gathered the girls around her and began with them, apparently, to form some kind of conspiracy against Kostya and me. The meeting went on throughout recess until the bell rang for the next lesson.
During the same time, Alik Novikov, a special photojournalist of our wall newspaper, took a picture of us with Kostya and with the words: “The deuce is jumping! The deuce is rushing!”, stuck our faces to the newspaper, in the section “Humor and satire”.
After that, Era Kuzyakina, the editor-in-chief of the wall newspaper, looked at us with a devastating look and hissed: “Oh, you! Such a newspaper has been ruined!”
The newspaper, which, according to Kuzyakina, was ruined by Kostya and me, looked really beautiful. It was all painted with multi-colored paints, in the most prominent place from edge to edge the slogan was printed in bright letters: “Study only for “good” and “excellent”! »
To be honest, our gloomy physiognomies of typical Losers really somehow did not fit with her elegant and festive look. I could not even stand it and sent Kuzyakina a note with the following content:
"Kuzyakina! I propose to remove our cards so that the newspaper will be beautiful again!
I underlined the word “beautiful” with two bold lines, but Erka only shrugged her shoulders and didn’t even look in my direction…
EVENT TWO
Don't even let me remember...
As soon as the bell rang from the last lesson, all the children rushed to the door in a crowd. I was about to push the door with my shoulder, but Erka Kuzyakina somehow got in my way.
- Do not disperse! Don't disperse! There will be a general meeting! she shouted and added in a sarcastic tone:
- Dedicated to Barankin and Malinin!
“And not a meeting,” shouted Zinka Fokina, “but a conversation!” A very serious conversation!.. Sit down!..
What started here! All the guys began to be indignant, slamming their desks, scolding Kostya and me and shouting that they would never stay. Kostya and I yelled, of course, the most. What are these other orders? They didn’t have time, one might say, to get deuces, and you immediately got a general meeting, well, not a meeting, so a “serious conversation” ... It remains to be seen which is worse. This was not the case last school year. That is, Kostya and I also had deuces last year, but no one made any fire out of this. They worked, of course, but not in this way, not right away ... They let me, as they say, come to my senses ... While such thoughts flashed through my head, the head of our class, Fokina, and the editor-in-chief of the wall newspaper, Kuzyakina, managed to “crush the rebellion” and forced all the guys to sit down. When the noise gradually died down and there was relative silence in the classroom, Zinka Fokina immediately began the meeting, that is, a “serious conversation” dedicated to me and my best friend Kostya Malinin.
Of course, it is very unpleasant for me to remember what Zinka Fokina and the rest of our comrades said about Kostya and me at that meeting, and, despite this, I will tell everything as it really was, without distorting a single word and without adding anything. Push…
EVENT THREE
How is it in opera...
When everyone sat down and there was silence in the class, Zinka Fokina shouted:
- Oh, guys! It's just some misfortune! The new academic year has not yet begun, and Barankin and Malinin have already managed to get two deuces! ..
A terrible noise immediately arose in the classroom again, but individual cries, of course, could be made out.
- In such conditions, I refuse to be the editor-in-chief of the wall newspaper! (This was said by Era Kuzyakina.) - And they also promised that they would improve! (Mishka Yakovlev.) - Unfortunate drones! Last year they were nursed, and again all over again! (Alik Novikov.) - Call the parents! (Nina Semyonova.) - Only our class is a disgrace! (Irka Pukhova.) - We decided to do everything “good” and “excellent”, and here you are! (Ella Sinitsyna.) - Shame on Barankin and Malinin!! (Ninka and Irka together.) - Yes, kick them out of our school, and that's it !!! (Erka Kuzyakina.) "Okay, Erka, I'll remember this phrase for you."
After these words, everyone yelled with one voice, so loudly that it was completely impossible for Kostya and me to make out who and what was thinking about us, although from individual words it was possible to catch that Kostya Malinin and I were blockheads, parasites, drones! Once again, fools, loafers, egoists! And so on! Etc!..
What annoyed me and Kostya most of all was that Venka Smirnov was yelling the loudest. Whose cow, as they say, would moo, but his would be silent. This Venka's performance last year was even worse than that of Kostya and me. Therefore, I could not stand it and also screamed.
“Redhead,” I shouted at Venka Smirnov, “and why are you yelling the loudest of all? If you were the first to be called to the board, you would not get a deuce, but a unit! So shut up in a rag.
“Oh, you, Barankin,” Venka Smirnov yelled at me, “I’m not against you, I’m yelling for you!” What am I trying to say, guys!.. I say: you can’t immediately call to the blackboard after the holidays. It is necessary that we first come to our senses after the holidays ...
- Smirnov! Zinka Fokina shouted at Venka.
“And in general,” Venka continued to shout at the whole class, “I suggest that during the first month no one should be asked any questions and that they should not be called to the blackboard at all! ..
“So you yell these words separately,” I shouted to Venka, “and not with everyone else together! ..
“Oh, be quiet, guys,” said Fokina, “shut up!” Let Barankin speak!
- What to say? - I said. - Kostya and I are not to blame that Mikhail Mikhalych called us to the blackboard first this academic year. I would first ask one of the excellent students, for example, Mishka Yakovlev, and it would all start with a five ...
Everyone began to make noise and laugh, and Fokina said:
- You better not joke, Barankin, but take an example from Misha Yakovlev.
- Just think, an example-minister! - I said not very loudly, but so that everyone could hear.
The guys laughed again. Zinka Fokina yelped, and Erka shook her head like a big one and said:
- Barankin! You'd better tell me when you and Malinin will correct your deuces?
- Malinin! I said to Costa. - Explain...
- What are you yelling at? Malinin said. We'll fix the two...
- Yura, when will we fix the deuces? Kostya Malinin asked me.
- And you, Malinin, do not have your head on your shoulders? Kuzyakina screamed.
“We’ll fix it in a quarter,” I said in a firm voice to bring final clarity to this issue.
- Guys! This is what happens? This means that our class must live through these unfortunate twos for the whole quarter!
- Barankin! - said Zinka Fokina. - The class decided that you correct the deuces tomorrow!
- Excuse me, please! I was outraged. - Tomorrow is Sunday!
- Nothing, take care of it! (Misha Yakovlev.) - So they need it! (Alik Novikov.) - Tie them to the desks with ropes! (Erka Kuzyakina.) - And if we don't understand the solution of the problem with Kostya? (I have already said this.) - And I will explain to you! (Misha Yakovlev.) Kostya and I looked at each other and said nothing.
- Silent means consent! - said Zinka Fokina. - So, agreed on Sunday! In the morning you will study with Yakovlev, and then you will come to the school garden - we will plant trees!
“Physical labor,” said the editor-in-chief of our wall newspaper, “is the best rest after mental work.
- This is what happens, - I said, - it means, as in an opera, it turns out ... "No sleep, no rest for a tormented soul! .."
- Alik! said our class leader. “Look out that they don’t run away!”
- Don't run away! Alik said. - Make a funny face! I have a short conversation! In which case ... - Alik pointed the camera at Kostya and me. And the signature...
EVENT FOUR
(Very important!)
What if I'm tired of being human?!
The guys, talking, left the classroom, and Kostya and I still continued to sit at the desk and be silent. To be honest, both of us were just, as they say, dumbfounded. I have already said that before we also had to get deuces, and more than once, but never before have our guys taken Kostya and me at the very beginning of the year in such a turn as on this Saturday.
- Yura! - said Zinka Fokina. (That's strange! Previously, she always called me only by my last name.) - Yura ... Be a man! .. Correct the deuce tomorrow! Will you fix it?
She spoke to me as if we were all alone in the class. As if my best friend Kostya Malinin was not sitting next to me.
- Will you fix it? she quietly repeated her question.
Fokina(indignantly). It is absolutely impossible to talk to you like a human being!
I(coldly). Well, don't talk!
Fokina(even more angry). And I will not!
I(even colder). And you talk to yourself!
Fokina(a thousand times more indignant). Because I want you to be human!
- And if I'm tired of being a man, then what? .. - I shouted indignantly at Fokina.
- Well, Barankin! You know, Barankin! .. That's it, Barankin! .. - Fokina said and left the classroom.
And I again remained sitting at my desk, sitting silently and thinking about how really tired I was of being a man ... "Already tired ... And there is still a whole human life and such a hard school year... And tomorrow is such a hard Sunday!...
EVENT FIVE
Shovels are still handed over ... And Mishka is about to appear
And now this Sunday has arrived! On my dad's calendar, the number and letters are painted in cheerful pink paint. All the guys from our house have a holiday. Some go to the movies, some go to football, some go on their own business, and Kostya and I sit in the yard on a bench and wait for Mishka Yakovlev to start working with him.
On weekdays, studying is also a small pleasure, but studying on a day off, when everyone is resting, is just one torment. As luck would have it, the weather is wonderful outside. There is not a cloud in the sky, and the sun warms quite like a summer.
In the morning, when I woke up and looked out into the street, the whole sky was covered with clouds. Outside, the wind whistled and blew yellow leaves from the trees.
I rejoiced. I thought that hail would fall the size of a pigeon's egg, Mishka would be afraid to go outside, and our classes would not take place. If not hail, then maybe the wind will blow snow or rain. A bear with his character, of course, will drag himself in the snow and rain, but in the slush it will not be so insulting to sit at home and pore over textbooks. While I was making different plans in my head, everything turned out the other way around. The clouds first turned into clouds, and then completely disappeared. And by the time Kostya Malinin arrived, the weather cleared up altogether, and now the sun and the sky are clear and clear in the yard. And the air doesn't move. Quiet. It is so quiet that yellow leaves have not even stopped falling from the birch tree under which Kostya and I are sitting.
- Hey you, boletus! my mother's voice came from the window of our apartment. – Are you going to study in the end or not?
She asked us this question for the fifth or sixth time.
We are waiting for Yakovlev!
- Isn't it possible to start without Yakovlev?
But Mishka was not there. Instead of him, Alik Novikov loomed behind the gate, now and then leaning out from behind a tree. He was, as always, all hung with cameras and all sorts of photographic accessories. Of course, I could not look calmly at this scout, and so I looked away.
It's called Sunday! I said, gritting my teeth.
At this time, Zinka Fokina approached Alik; she carried four shovels on her shoulder, some kind of cardboard box was clamped under her arm, and in her left hand was a net for catching butterflies.
Alik took a picture of Zinka with shovels on his shoulder, and together they headed towards us. I thought that Alik would now shoulder the shovels, but for some reason this did not happen. All four shovels continued to be dragged by Zinka Fokina, and Alik continued to hold on with both hands to the camera that hung around his neck.
“Hey you, photographer,” I said to Alik when they, together with Zinka, approached the bench. - It seems that these shovels are not up to you, Your Manifestation!
“On the other hand, you and Kostya will be able to handle them,” said Alik Novikov, not at all embarrassed, pointing the camera at Kostya and me. - And the signature: the head of class 3. Fokina solemnly hands over the household inventory to her compatriots ...
Zinka Fokina leaned the shovels against the seat of the bench, and Alik Novikov clicked on the camera.
“Yes,” I said, carefully examining the shovels. - How does it happen in the Koster magazine ...
– What else does it do? Fokina asked me.
“A mysterious picture,” I explained.
“I understand,” said Alik, “where is the handle of this shovel?”
“No,” I said to Alik. - Where is the boy who will work with this shovel? ..
- Barankin! - Zinka Fokina was indignant. - Are you not going to green the school today?
- Why am I not going to? I replied to Zinka. - I'm going to get ready ... Only it is not known how long I will be getting ready ...
- Barankin, be a man! - said Zinka Fokina. - After classes with Misha Yakovlev, immediately come to the school garden!
* * *
She wanted to say something else to Kostya and me, but changed her mind, turned around and, with a shovel on her shoulder, silently walked in the direction of the school.
Alik Novikov again took up his post at the gate behind the tree. Kostya grew even more gloomy and stared at the shovels; he looked at them as if hypnotized, and I was the opposite; I tried to ignore this "inventory". Trying my best to appear cheerful, I began to look at the trees, not even realizing that there was very little time left before the incredible, fantastic and, one might say, supernatural events that would unfold in our yard ...
EVENT SIX
Seven days off a week - that's what struck my imagination!
Sparrows chirped loudly in the bushes. In merry companies, they now and then fell off the branches, flying from tree to tree, on the fly their flocks either compressed or stretched. It was as if all the sparrows were tied together with rubber threads.
In front of my very nose, some midges flew carelessly in the air. Butterflies fluttered over the flower bed. On the bench where Kostya and I were sitting, black ants were running around. One ant even climbed on my knee and began to bask in the sun.
“Here’s who, probably, every day is Sunday!” I thought, looking enviously at the sparrows. Without taking my eyes off the acacia tree, I began, perhaps for the 250th time, to compare my life and the life of sparrows and came to a very sad conclusion. One glance was enough to make sure that the life of birds and various insects was carefree and simply wonderful; none of them waited for anyone, no one studied anything, no one was sent anywhere, no lectures were given to anyone, no shovels were given to anyone ... Each lived on his own and did whatever he wanted. And so all my life! All days are painted pink! All the time is a holiday! Seven days a week - and all Sundays! And Malinin and I have one day off in seven days, and is it really a day off? Yes, just one name. And it would be nice to live at least one day like these happy ants, or sparrows, or butterflies live, only to not hear these verbs that rain down on your unfortunate head from morning to evening: wake up, get dressed, go, fetch, take, buy, sweep, help, learn! It's not easy at school either. As soon as I appear in class, all I hear from Zinka Fokina:
“Oh, Barankin, be a man! Don't fidget, don't copy, don't be rude, don't be late!.." And so on and so forth...
Be human at school!
On the street, be a man!
Be human at home!
And when to rest?
And where do you find time to relax? Of course, you can still find a little free time, but where can you find such a place to relax so that absolutely no one bothers you to do whatever your heart desires? And here I came up with that incredible idea that I had been hatching in my head for a long time, secretly from everyone. And what if you take it and try to o-su-sest! Implement today! Now! Perhaps there will never be a more suitable moment, and perhaps there will never be a more suitable situation and mood! .. First you need to tell Kostya Malinin about everything. Or maybe it's not worth it? .. No, it's worth it! I'll tell you! And there come what may!
- Malinin! I said in a whisper. - Listen to me, Malinin! .. - I almost suffocated from excitement. - Listen!
Of course, if I didn’t have to study on this day off, and then also work in the school garden, then I might never have shared my incredible and unheard-of plan with Kostya, but the deuce that showed off in my diary, and the shovel, leaning against me with its handle, overflowed, as they say, the cup of my patience, and I decided to act.
EVENT SEVEN
The only instruction in the world
Once again I looked at the windows of our apartment, at the sky, at Vorobyov, at the gate, from which Mishka Yakovlev was about to appear, and said in a truly excited voice:
- Kostya! Do you know what my mom says?
- What? Kostya asked.
“My mother says,” said l, “that if you really want to, then even a snub nose can turn into an aquiline one!”
- In the eagle? - asked Kostya Malinin and, not understanding what I was talking about, stared at the wall of our house, on which was written in chalk:
BARANKIN DREAMER UNHAPPY!!!
- In the eagle! I confirmed. But only if you really want to.
Malinin took his eyes off the fence and looked incredulously at my nose.
My profile was the exact opposite of an eagle's. I was snub-nosed. In the words of my mother, I am so snub-nosed that through the holes in my upturned nose you can see what I'm thinking about.
- So why are you walking around with such a nose, if it can turn into an aquiline one? asked Kostya Malinin.
- Yes, I'm not talking about the nose, you fool!
– About what? Kostya still didn't understand.
- And about the fact that if you really want to, then you can turn from a person, for example, into a sparrow ...
– Why should we turn, for example, into sparrows? asked Kostya Malinin, looking at me as if I were crazy.
- What do you mean why? Let's turn into sparrows and spend at least one Sunday like a human being!
- How is it human? asked the stunned Malinin.
“In a human way means for real,” I explained. - Let's arrange a real day off for ourselves and take a rest as it should be from this arithmetic, from Mishka Yakovlev ... from everything in the world we will rest. Of course, if you are not tired of being a man, then you don’t have to turn into a - sit and wait for Mishka ...
How is it that you are not tired? I'm really tired of being human! Kostya said. - Maybe more tired than you! ..
- Here you go! Now that's comradely!
And with even greater enthusiasm I began to describe to Kostya Malinin that life, without any worries and troubles, which, in my opinion, awaited us if we managed to somehow turn into sparrows.
- That's great! Kostya said.
– Of course, great! - I said.
- Wait! Kostya said. - And how are we going to transform? By what system?
- Didn’t you read, perhaps, in fairy tales: “Ivanushka hit the ground and turned into a swift-winged eagle ... He hit the ground again and turned ...”?
“Listen, Yurka,” Kostya Malinin told me, “is it necessary to knock on the ground? ..
“You don’t have to knock,” I said, “it’s possible with the help of real desire and magic words ...
- And where will we take magic words? From old fairy tale, whether?
- Why - from a fairy tale? I came up with it myself. Here ... - I handed Kostya a notebook, a notebook that no one had ever seen in the world except me. Everything is written here...
- “How to turn from a man into a sparrow according to the Barankin system. Instruction,” Kostya read the inscription on the cover of the notebook in a whistling whisper and turned over the first page…
PART ONE
BARANKIN, TO THE BOARD!
EVENT ONE
Two deuces!
If Kostya Malinin and I had not managed to get two deuces in geometry at the very beginning of the school year, then perhaps nothing so incredible and fantastic would have happened in our life, but we got the deuces, and therefore the next day something happened to us something incredible, fantastic and even, one might say, supernatural! ..
At recess, immediately after this ill-fated event, Zinka Fokina, the head of our class, came up to us and said: “Oh, Barankin and Malinin! Oh what a shame! Shame on the entire school! Then she gathered the girls around her and began with them, apparently, to form some kind of conspiracy against Kostya and me. The meeting went on throughout recess until the bell rang for the next lesson.
During the same time, Alik Novikov, a special photojournalist of our wall newspaper, took a picture of us with Kostya and with the words: “The deuce is jumping! The deuce is rushing!”, stuck our faces to the newspaper, in the section “Humor and satire”.
After that, Era Kuzyakina, the editor-in-chief of the wall newspaper, looked at us with a devastating look and hissed: “Oh, you! Such a newspaper has been ruined!”
The newspaper, which, according to Kuzyakina, was ruined by Kostya and me, looked really beautiful. It was all painted with multi-colored paints, in the most prominent place from edge to edge the slogan was printed in bright letters: “Study only for “good” and “excellent”! »
To be honest, our gloomy physiognomies of typical Losers really somehow did not fit with her elegant and festive look. I could not even stand it and sent Kuzyakina a note with the following content:
"Kuzyakina! I propose to remove our cards so that the newspaper will be beautiful again!
I underlined the word “beautiful” with two bold lines, but Erka only shrugged her shoulders and didn’t even look in my direction…
EVENT TWO
Don't even let me remember...
As soon as the bell rang from the last lesson, all the children rushed to the door in a crowd. I was about to push the door with my shoulder, but Erka Kuzyakina somehow got in my way.
Don't disperse! Don't disperse! There will be a general meeting! she shouted, and added in a sarcastic tone:
Dedicated to Barankin and Malinin!
And not a meeting, - shouted Zinka Fokina, - but a conversation! A very serious conversation!.. Sit down!..
What started here! All the guys began to be indignant, slamming their desks, scolding Kostya and me and shouting that they would never stay. Kostya and I yelled, of course, the most. What are these other orders? We didn’t have time, one might say, to get deuces, and you immediately got a general meeting, well, not a meeting, so a “serious conversation” ... It remains to be seen which is worse. This was not the case last school year. That is, Kostya and I also had deuces last year, but no one made any fire out of this. They worked, of course, but not in this way, not right away ... They let me, as they say, come to my senses ... While such thoughts flashed through my head, the head of our class, Fokina, and the editor-in-chief of the wall newspaper, Kuzyakina, managed to “crush the rebellion” and forced all the guys to sit down. When the noise gradually died down and there was relative silence in the classroom, Zinka Fokina immediately began the meeting, that is, a “serious conversation” dedicated to me and my best friend Kostya Malinin.
Of course, it is very unpleasant for me to remember what Zinka Fokina and the rest of our comrades said about Kostya and me at that meeting, and, despite this, I will tell everything as it really was, without distorting a single word and without adding anything. Push…
EVENT THREE
How is it in opera...
When everyone sat down and there was silence in the class, Zinka Fokina shouted:
Oh guys! It's just some misfortune! The new academic year has not yet begun, and Barankin and Malinin have already managed to get two deuces! ..
A terrible noise immediately arose in the classroom again, but individual cries, of course, could be made out.
In such conditions, I refuse to be the editor-in-chief of the wall newspaper! (This was said by Era Kuzyakina.) - And they also promised that they would improve! (Mishka Yakovlev.) - Unfortunate drones! Last year they were nursed, and again all over again! (Alik Novikov.) - Call the parents! (Nina Semyonova.) - Only our class is dishonored! (Irka Pukhova.) - We decided to do everything “good” and “excellent”, and here you are! (Ella Sinitsyna.) - Shame on Barankin and Malinin!! (Ninka and Irka together.) - Yes, kick them out of our school, and that's it!!! (Erka Kuzyakina.) "Okay, Erka, I'll remember this phrase for you."
After these words, everyone yelled with one voice, so loudly that it was completely impossible for Kostya and me to make out who and what was thinking about us, although from individual words it was possible to catch that Kostya Malinin and I were blockheads, parasites, drones! Once again, fools, loafers, egoists! And so on! Etc!..
What annoyed me and Kostya most of all was that Venka Smirnov was yelling the loudest. Whose cow, as they say, would moo, but his would be silent. This Venka's performance last year was even worse than that of Kostya and me. Therefore, I could not stand it and also screamed.
Red-haired, - I shouted at Venka Smirnov, - why are you yelling the loudest of all? If you were the first to be called to the board, you would not get a deuce, but a unit! So shut up in a rag.
Oh, you, Barankin, - Venka Smirnov yelled at me, - I'm not against you, I'm yelling for you! What am I trying to say, guys!.. I say: you can’t immediately call to the blackboard after the holidays. It is necessary that we first come to our senses after the holidays ...
Smirnov! Zinka Fokina shouted at Venka.
And in general,” Venka continued to shout at the whole class, “I suggest that during the first month no one should be asked any questions and that they should not be called to the blackboard at all! ..
So you yell these words separately, - I shouted to Venka, - and not with everyone together! ..
Oh, hush, guys, - said Fokina, - shut up! Let Barankin speak!
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Valery MEDVEDEV
BARANKIN, BE A HUMAN!
PART ONE
BARANKIN, TO THE BOARD!
EVENT ONE
Two deuces!
If Kostya Malinin and I had not managed to get two deuces in geometry at the very beginning of the school year, then perhaps nothing so incredible and fantastic would have happened in our life, but we got the deuces, and therefore the next day something happened to us something incredible, fantastic and even, one might say, supernatural! ..
At recess, immediately after this ill-fated event, Zinka Fokina, the head of our class, came up to us and said: “Oh, Barankin and Malinin! Oh what a shame! Shame on the entire school! Then she gathered the girls around her and began with them, apparently, to form some kind of conspiracy against Kostya and me. The meeting went on throughout recess until the bell rang for the next lesson.
During the same time, Alik Novikov, a special photojournalist of our wall newspaper, took a picture of us with Kostya and with the words: “The deuce is jumping! The deuce is rushing!”, stuck our faces to the newspaper, in the section “Humor and satire”.
After that, Era Kuzyakina, the editor-in-chief of the wall newspaper, looked at us with a devastating look and hissed: “Oh, you! Such a newspaper has been ruined!”
The newspaper, which, according to Kuzyakina, was ruined by Kostya and me, looked really beautiful. It was all painted with multi-colored paints, in the most prominent place from edge to edge the slogan was printed in bright letters: “Study only for “good” and “excellent”! »
To be honest, our gloomy physiognomies of typical Losers really somehow did not fit with her elegant and festive look. I could not even stand it and sent Kuzyakina a note with the following content:
"Kuzyakina! I propose to remove our cards so that the newspaper will be beautiful again!
I underlined the word “beautiful” with two bold lines, but Erka only shrugged her shoulders and didn’t even look in my direction…
EVENT TWO
Don't even let me remember...
As soon as the bell rang from the last lesson, all the children rushed to the door in a crowd. I was about to push the door with my shoulder, but Erka Kuzyakina somehow got in my way.
- Do not disperse! Don't disperse! There will be a general meeting! she shouted and added in a sarcastic tone:
- Dedicated to Barankin and Malinin!
“And not a meeting,” shouted Zinka Fokina, “but a conversation!” A very serious conversation!.. Sit down!..
What started here! All the guys began to be indignant, slamming their desks, scolding Kostya and me and shouting that they would never stay. Kostya and I yelled, of course, the most. What are these other orders? They didn’t have time, one might say, to get deuces, and you immediately got a general meeting, well, not a meeting, so a “serious conversation” ... It remains to be seen which is worse. This was not the case last school year. That is, Kostya and I also had deuces last year, but no one made any fire out of this. They worked, of course, but not in this way, not right away ... They let me, as they say, come to my senses ... While such thoughts flashed through my head, the head of our class, Fokina, and the editor-in-chief of the wall newspaper, Kuzyakina, managed to “crush the rebellion” and forced all the guys to sit down. When the noise gradually died down and there was relative silence in the classroom, Zinka Fokina immediately began the meeting, that is, a “serious conversation” dedicated to me and my best friend Kostya Malinin.
Of course, it is very unpleasant for me to remember what Zinka Fokina and the rest of our comrades said about Kostya and me at that meeting, and, despite this, I will tell everything as it really was, without distorting a single word and without adding anything. Push…
EVENT THREE
How is it in opera...
When everyone sat down and there was silence in the class, Zinka Fokina shouted:
- Oh, guys! It's just some misfortune! The new academic year has not yet begun, and Barankin and Malinin have already managed to get two deuces! ..
A terrible noise immediately arose in the classroom again, but individual cries, of course, could be made out.
- In such conditions, I refuse to be the editor-in-chief of the wall newspaper! (This was said by Era Kuzyakina.) - And they also promised that they would improve! (Mishka Yakovlev.) - Unfortunate drones! Last year they were nursed, and again all over again! (Alik Novikov.) - Call the parents! (Nina Semyonova.) - Only our class is a disgrace! (Irka Pukhova.) - We decided to do everything “good” and “excellent”, and here you are! (Ella Sinitsyna.) - Shame on Barankin and Malinin!! (Ninka and Irka together.) - Yes, kick them out of our school, and that's it !!! (Erka Kuzyakina.) "Okay, Erka, I'll remember this phrase for you."
After these words, everyone yelled with one voice, so loudly that it was completely impossible for Kostya and me to make out who and what was thinking about us, although from individual words it was possible to catch that Kostya Malinin and I were blockheads, parasites, drones! Once again, fools, loafers, egoists! And so on! Etc!..
What annoyed me and Kostya most of all was that Venka Smirnov was yelling the loudest. Whose cow, as they say, would moo, but his would be silent. This Venka's performance last year was even worse than that of Kostya and me. Therefore, I could not stand it and also screamed.
“Redhead,” I shouted at Venka Smirnov, “and why are you yelling the loudest of all? If you were the first to be called to the board, you would not get a deuce, but a unit! So shut up in a rag.
“Oh, you, Barankin,” Venka Smirnov yelled at me, “I’m not against you, I’m yelling for you!” What am I trying to say, guys!.. I say: you can’t immediately call to the blackboard after the holidays. It is necessary that we first come to our senses after the holidays ...
- Smirnov! Zinka Fokina shouted at Venka.
“And in general,” Venka continued to shout at the whole class, “I suggest that during the first month no one should be asked any questions and that they should not be called to the blackboard at all! ..
“So you yell these words separately,” I shouted to Venka, “and not with everyone else together! ..
“Oh, be quiet, guys,” said Fokina, “shut up!” Let Barankin speak!
- What to say? - I said. - Kostya and I are not to blame that Mikhail Mikhalych called us to the blackboard first this academic year. I would first ask one of the excellent students, for example, Mishka Yakovlev, and it would all start with a five ...
Everyone began to make noise and laugh, and Fokina said:
- You better not joke, Barankin, but take an example from Misha Yakovlev.
- Just think, an example-minister! - I said not very loudly, but so that everyone could hear.
The guys laughed again. Zinka Fokina yelped, and Erka shook her head like a big one and said:
- Barankin! You'd better tell me when you and Malinin will correct your deuces?
- Malinin! I said to Costa. - Explain...
- What are you yelling at? Malinin said. We'll fix the two...
- Yura, when will we fix the deuces? Kostya Malinin asked me.
- And you, Malinin, do not have your head on your shoulders? Kuzyakina screamed.
“We’ll fix it in a quarter,” I said in a firm voice to bring final clarity to this issue.
- Guys! This is what happens? This means that our class must live through these unfortunate twos for the whole quarter!
- Barankin! - said Zinka Fokina. - The class decided that you correct the deuces tomorrow!
- Excuse me, please! I was outraged. - Tomorrow is Sunday!
- Nothing, take care of it! (Misha Yakovlev.) - So they need it! (Alik Novikov.) - Tie them to the desks with ropes! (Erka Kuzyakina.) - And if we don't understand the solution of the problem with Kostya? (I have already said this.) - And I will explain to you! (Misha Yakovlev.) Kostya and I looked at each other and said nothing.
- Silent means consent! - said Zinka Fokina. - So, agreed on Sunday! In the morning you will study with Yakovlev, and then you will come to the school garden - we will plant trees!
“Physical labor,” said the editor-in-chief of our wall newspaper, “is the best rest after mental work.
- This is what happens, - I said, - it means, as in an opera, it turns out ... "No sleep, no rest for a tormented soul! .."
- Alik! said our class leader. “Look out that they don’t run away!”
- Don't run away! Alik said. - Make a funny face! I have a short conversation! In which case ... - Alik pointed the camera at Kostya and me. And the signature...
EVENT FOUR
(Very important!)
What if I'm tired of being human?!
The guys, talking, left the classroom, and Kostya and I still continued to sit at the desk and be silent. To be honest, both of us were just, as they say, dumbfounded. I have already said that before we also had to get deuces, and more than once, but never before have our guys taken Kostya and me at the very beginning of the year in such a turn as on this Saturday.
- Yura! - said Zinka Fokina. (That's strange! Previously, she always called me only by my last name.) - Yura ... Be a man! .. Correct the deuce tomorrow! Will you fix it?
She spoke to me as if we were all alone in the class. As if my best friend Kostya Malinin was not sitting next to me.
- Will you fix it? she quietly repeated her question.
Fokina(indignantly). It is absolutely impossible to talk to you like a human being!
I(coldly). Well, don't talk!
Fokina(even more angry). And I will not!
I(even colder). And you talk to yourself!
Fokina(a thousand times more indignant). Because I want you to be human!
- And if I'm tired of being a man, then what? .. - I shouted indignantly at Fokina.
- Well, Barankin! You know, Barankin! .. That's it, Barankin! .. - Fokina said and left the classroom.
And I again sat at my desk, silently sitting and thinking about how really tired I was of being a man ... " Already tired ... And there is still a whole human life ahead and such a difficult school year ... And tomorrow is such a difficult Sunday! ...
EVENT FIVE
Shovels are still handed over ... And Mishka is about to appear
And now this Sunday has arrived! On my dad's calendar, the number and letters are painted in cheerful pink paint. All the guys from our house have a holiday. Some go to the movies, some go to football, some go on their own business, and Kostya and I sit in the yard on a bench and wait for Mishka Yakovlev to start working with him.
On weekdays, studying is also a small pleasure, but studying on a day off, when everyone is resting, is just one torment. As luck would have it, the weather is wonderful outside. There is not a cloud in the sky, and the sun warms quite like a summer.
In the morning, when I woke up and looked out into the street, the whole sky was covered with clouds. Outside, the wind whistled and blew yellow leaves from the trees.
I rejoiced. I thought that hail would fall the size of a pigeon's egg, Mishka would be afraid to go outside, and our classes would not take place. If not hail, then maybe the wind will blow snow or rain. A bear with his character, of course, will drag himself in the snow and rain, but in the slush it will not be so insulting to sit at home and pore over textbooks. While I was making different plans in my head, everything turned out the other way around. The clouds first turned into clouds, and then completely disappeared. And by the time Kostya Malinin arrived, the weather cleared up altogether, and now the sun and the sky are clear and clear in the yard. And the air doesn't move. Quiet. It is so quiet that yellow leaves have not even stopped falling from the birch tree under which Kostya and I are sitting.
- Hey you, boletus! my mother's voice came from the window of our apartment. – Are you going to study in the end or not?
She asked us this question for the fifth or sixth time.
We are waiting for Yakovlev!
- Isn't it possible to start without Yakovlev?
But Mishka was not there. Instead of him, Alik Novikov loomed behind the gate, now and then leaning out from behind a tree. He was, as always, all hung with cameras and all sorts of photographic accessories. Of course, I could not look calmly at this scout, and so I looked away.
It's called Sunday! I said, gritting my teeth.
At this time, Zinka Fokina approached Alik; she carried four shovels on her shoulder, some kind of cardboard box was clamped under her arm, and in her left hand was a net for catching butterflies.
Alik took a picture of Zinka with shovels on his shoulder, and together they headed towards us. I thought that Alik would now shoulder the shovels, but for some reason this did not happen. All four shovels continued to be dragged by Zinka Fokina, and Alik continued to hold on with both hands to the camera that hung around his neck.
“Hey you, photographer,” I said to Alik when they, together with Zinka, approached the bench. - It seems that these shovels are not up to you, Your Manifestation!
“On the other hand, you and Kostya will be able to handle them,” said Alik Novikov, not at all embarrassed, pointing the camera at Kostya and me. - And the signature: the head of class 3. Fokina solemnly hands over the household inventory to her compatriots ...
Zinka Fokina leaned the shovels against the seat of the bench, and Alik Novikov clicked on the camera.
“Yes,” I said, carefully examining the shovels. - How does it happen in the Koster magazine ...
– What else does it do? Fokina asked me.
“A mysterious picture,” I explained.
“I understand,” said Alik, “where is the handle of this shovel?”
“No,” I said to Alik. - Where is the boy who will work with this shovel? ..
- Barankin! - Zinka Fokina was indignant. - Are you not going to green the school today?
- Why am I not going to? I replied to Zinka. - I'm going to get ready ... Only it is not known how long I will be getting ready ...
- Barankin, be a man! - said Zinka Fokina. - After classes with Misha Yakovlev, immediately come to the school garden!
* * *
She wanted to say something else to Kostya and me, but changed her mind, turned around and, with a shovel on her shoulder, silently walked in the direction of the school.
Alik Novikov again took up his post at the gate behind the tree. Kostya grew even more gloomy and stared at the shovels; he looked at them as if hypnotized, and I was the opposite; I tried to ignore this "inventory". Trying my best to appear cheerful, I began to look at the trees, not even realizing that there was very little time left before the incredible, fantastic and, one might say, supernatural events that would unfold in our yard ...
EVENT SIX
Seven days off a week - that's what struck my imagination!
Sparrows chirped loudly in the bushes. In merry companies, they now and then fell off the branches, flying from tree to tree, on the fly their flocks either compressed or stretched. It was as if all the sparrows were tied together with rubber threads.
In front of my very nose, some midges flew carelessly in the air. Butterflies fluttered over the flower bed. On the bench where Kostya and I were sitting, black ants were running around. One ant even climbed on my knee and began to bask in the sun.
“Here’s who, probably, every day is Sunday!” I thought, looking enviously at the sparrows. Without taking my eyes off the acacia tree, I began, perhaps for the 250th time, to compare my life and the life of sparrows and came to a very sad conclusion. One glance was enough to make sure that the life of birds and various insects was carefree and simply wonderful; none of them waited for anyone, no one studied anything, no one was sent anywhere, no lectures were given to anyone, no shovels were given to anyone ... Each lived on his own and did whatever he wanted. And so all my life! All days are painted pink! All the time is a holiday! Seven days a week - and all Sundays! And Malinin and I have one day off in seven days, and is it really a day off? Yes, just one name. And it would be nice to live at least one day like these happy ants, or sparrows, or butterflies live, only to not hear these verbs that rain down on your unfortunate head from morning to evening: wake up, get dressed, go, fetch, take, buy, sweep, help, learn! It's not easy at school either. As soon as I appear in class, all I hear from Zinka Fokina:
“Oh, Barankin, be a man! Don't fidget, don't copy, don't be rude, don't be late!.." And so on and so forth...
Be human at school!
On the street, be a man!
Be human at home!
And when to rest?
And where do you find time to relax? Of course, you can still find a little free time, but where can you find such a place to relax so that absolutely no one bothers you to do whatever your heart desires? And here I came up with that incredible idea that I had been hatching in my head for a long time, secretly from everyone. And what if you take it and try to o-su-sest! Implement today! Now! Perhaps there will never be a more suitable moment, and perhaps there will never be a more suitable situation and mood! .. First you need to tell Kostya Malinin about everything. Or maybe it's not worth it? .. No, it's worth it! I'll tell you! And there come what may!
- Malinin! I said in a whisper. - Listen to me, Malinin! .. - I almost suffocated from excitement. - Listen!
Of course, if I didn’t have to study on this day off, and then also work in the school garden, then I might never have shared my incredible and unheard-of plan with Kostya, but the deuce that showed off in my diary, and the shovel, leaning against me with its handle, overflowed, as they say, the cup of my patience, and I decided to act.
EVENT SEVEN
The only instruction in the world
Once again I looked at the windows of our apartment, at the sky, at Vorobyov, at the gate, from which Mishka Yakovlev was about to appear, and said in a truly excited voice:
- Kostya! Do you know what my mom says?
- What? Kostya asked.
“My mother says,” said l, “that if you really want to, then even a snub nose can turn into an aquiline one!”
- In the eagle? - asked Kostya Malinin and, not understanding what I was talking about, stared at the wall of our house, on which was written in chalk:
...BARANKIN DREAMER UNHAPPY!!!
- In the eagle! I confirmed. But only if you really want to.
Malinin took his eyes off the fence and looked incredulously at my nose.
My profile was the exact opposite of an eagle's. I was snub-nosed. In the words of my mother, I am so snub-nosed that through the holes in my upturned nose you can see what I'm thinking about.
- So why are you walking around with such a nose, if it can turn into an aquiline one? asked Kostya Malinin.
- Yes, I'm not talking about the nose, you fool!
– About what? Kostya still didn't understand.
- And about the fact that if you really want to, then you can turn from a person, for example, into a sparrow ...
– Why should we turn, for example, into sparrows? asked Kostya Malinin, looking at me as if I were crazy.
- What do you mean why? Let's turn into sparrows and spend at least one Sunday like a human being!
- How is it human? asked the stunned Malinin.
“In a human way means for real,” I explained. - Let's arrange a real day off for ourselves and take a rest as it should be from this arithmetic, from Mishka Yakovlev ... from everything in the world we will rest. Of course, if you are not tired of being a man, then you don’t have to turn into a - sit and wait for Mishka ...
How is it that you are not tired? I'm really tired of being human! Kostya said. - Maybe more tired than you! ..
- Here you go! Now that's comradely!
And with even greater enthusiasm I began to describe to Kostya Malinin that life, without any worries and troubles, which, in my opinion, awaited us if we managed to somehow turn into sparrows.
- That's great! Kostya said.
– Of course, great! - I said.
- Wait! Kostya said. - And how are we going to transform? By what system?
- Didn’t you read, perhaps, in fairy tales: “Ivanushka hit the ground and turned into a swift-winged eagle ... He hit the ground again and turned ...”?
“Listen, Yurka,” Kostya Malinin told me, “is it necessary to knock on the ground? ..
“You don’t have to knock,” I said, “it’s possible with the help of real desire and magic words ...
“Where are we going to get the magic words?” From an old fairy tale, or what?
- Why - from a fairy tale? I came up with it myself. Here ... - I handed Kostya a notebook, a notebook that no one had ever seen in the world except me. Everything is written here...
- “How to turn from a man into a sparrow according to the Barankin system. Instruction,” Kostya read the inscription on the cover of the notebook in a whistling whisper and turned over the first page…
EVENT ONE
Two deuces!
If Kostya Malinin and I had not managed to get two deuces in geometry at the very beginning of the school year, then perhaps nothing so incredible and fantastic would have happened in our life, but we got the deuces, and therefore the next day something happened to us something incredible, fantastic and even, one might say, supernatural! ..
At recess, immediately after this ill-fated event, Zinka Fokina, the head of our class, came up to us and said: “Oh, Barankin and Malinin! Oh what a shame! Shame on the entire school! Then she gathered the girls around her and began with them, apparently, to form some kind of conspiracy against Kostya and me. The meeting went on throughout recess until the bell rang for the next lesson.
During the same time, Alik Novikov, a special photojournalist of our wall newspaper, took a picture of us with Kostya and with the words: “The deuce is jumping! The deuce is rushing!”, stuck our faces to the newspaper, in the section “Humor and satire”.
After that, Era Kuzyakina, the editor-in-chief of the wall newspaper, looked at us with a devastating look and hissed: “Oh, you! Such a newspaper has been ruined!”
The newspaper, which, according to Kuzyakina, was ruined by Kostya and me, looked really beautiful. It was all painted with multi-colored paints, in the most prominent place from edge to edge the slogan was printed in bright letters: “Study only for “good” and “excellent”! »
To be honest, our gloomy physiognomies of typical Losers really somehow did not fit with her elegant and festive look. I could not even stand it and sent Kuzyakina a note with the following content:
"Kuzyakina! I propose to remove our cards so that the newspaper will be beautiful again!
I underlined the word “beautiful” with two bold lines, but Erka only shrugged her shoulders and didn’t even look in my direction…
EVENT TWO
Don't even let me remember...
As soon as the bell rang from the last lesson, all the children rushed to the door in a crowd. I was about to push the door with my shoulder, but Erka Kuzyakina somehow got in my way.
Don't disperse! Don't disperse! There will be a general meeting! she shouted, and added in a sarcastic tone:
Dedicated to Barankin and Malinin!
And not a meeting, - shouted Zinka Fokina, - but a conversation! A very serious conversation!.. Sit down!..
What started here! All the guys began to be indignant, slamming their desks, scolding Kostya and me and shouting that they would never stay. Kostya and I yelled, of course, the most. What are these other orders? We didn’t have time, one might say, to get deuces, and you immediately got a general meeting, well, not a meeting, so a “serious conversation” ... It remains to be seen which is worse. This was not the case last school year. That is, Kostya and I also had deuces last year, but no one made any fire out of this. They worked, of course, but not in this way, not right away ... They let me, as they say, come to my senses ... While such thoughts flashed through my head, the head of our class, Fokina, and the editor-in-chief of the wall newspaper, Kuzyakina, managed to “crush the rebellion” and forced all the guys to sit down. When the noise gradually died down and there was relative silence in the classroom, Zinka Fokina immediately began the meeting, that is, a “serious conversation” dedicated to me and my best friend Kostya Malinin.
Of course, it is very unpleasant for me to remember what Zinka Fokina and the rest of our comrades said about Kostya and me at that meeting, and, despite this, I will tell everything as it really was, without distorting a single word and without adding anything. Push…
EVENT THREE
How is it in opera...
When everyone sat down and there was silence in the class, Zinka Fokina shouted:
Oh guys! It's just some misfortune! The new academic year has not yet begun, and Barankin and Malinin have already managed to get two deuces! ..
A terrible noise immediately arose in the classroom again, but individual cries, of course, could be made out.
In such conditions, I refuse to be the editor-in-chief of the wall newspaper! (This was said by Era Kuzyakina.) - And they also promised that they would improve! (Mishka Yakovlev.) - Unfortunate drones! Last year they were nursed, and again all over again! (Alik Novikov.) - Call the parents! (Nina Semyonova.) - Only our class is dishonored! (Irka Pukhova.) - We decided to do everything “good” and “excellent”, and here you are! (Ella Sinitsyna.) - Shame on Barankin and Malinin!! (Ninka and Irka together.) - Yes, kick them out of our school, and that's it!!! (Erka Kuzyakina.) "Okay, Erka, I'll remember this phrase for you."
After these words, everyone yelled with one voice, so loudly that it was completely impossible for Kostya and me to make out who and what was thinking about us, although from individual words it was possible to catch that Kostya Malinin and I were blockheads, parasites, drones! Once again, fools, loafers, egoists! And so on! Etc!..
What annoyed me and Kostya most of all was that Venka Smirnov was yelling the loudest. Whose cow, as they say, would moo, but his would be silent. This Venka's performance last year was even worse than that of Kostya and me. Therefore, I could not stand it and also screamed.
Red-haired, - I shouted at Venka Smirnov, - why are you yelling the loudest of all? If you were the first to be called to the board, you would not get a deuce, but a unit! So shut up in a rag.
Oh, you, Barankin, - Venka Smirnov yelled at me, - I'm not against you, I'm yelling for you! What am I trying to say, guys!.. I say: you can’t immediately call to the blackboard after the holidays. It is necessary that we first come to our senses after the holidays ...
Smirnov! Zinka Fokina shouted at Venka.
And in general,” Venka continued to shout at the whole class, “I suggest that during the first month no one should be asked any questions and that they should not be called to the blackboard at all! ..
So you yell these words separately, - I shouted to Venka, - and not with everyone together! ..
Oh, hush, guys, - said Fokina, - shut up! Let Barankin speak!
What to say? - I said. - Kostya and I are not to blame that Mikhail Mikhalych called us to the blackboard first this academic year. I would first ask one of the excellent students, for example, Mishka Yakovlev, and it would all start with a five ...
Everyone began to make noise and laugh, and Fokina said:
You, Barankin, better not joke, but take an example from Misha Yakovlev.
Just think, an example is a minister! - I said not very loudly, but so that everyone could hear.
The guys laughed again. Zinka Fokina yelped, and Erka shook her head like a big one and said:
Barankin! You'd better tell me when you and Malinin will correct your deuces?
Malinin! I said to Costa. - Explain...
