question effective use time I was seriously interested when I became a mother. Many obligatory daily tasks appeared, followed by simple human desires timidly: read a book about French women, take a nap during the day, swim in the pool, etc. Therefore, having stumbled on Marina Yaroslavtseva’s book “How to do everything in time? Time Management for Moms ”, I, without a doubt, bought myself an electronic version and started reading it that same evening.
If you, like me, spend a lot of time cleaning your apartment every day, but are still unhappy with the result, this book is for you. It's also for you if:
- you do not take time for yourself, focusing all your attention on caring for your family and home;
- it seems to you that you do not leave the kitchen;
- you feel constant fatigue from everyday life and routine;
There is little theory in this book and a lot of practical advice that you can immediately try in practice. Moreover, after each chapter there are tasks that must be completed. True, I skipped them, in a hurry to read the book as soon as possible and write about it for you. But I will definitely re-read all the chapters and solve all the tasks proposed by the author.
Of course, the recommendations of Marina Yaroslavtseva will not surprise you. You probably heard all this from your mother or, like me, you still hear: put things in their places right away, plan your daily routine in advance, do not leave everything to the last moment. But this adds a sense of learning, as if you entered the school of noble maidens, and you need to study hard to get good grades and not fly out with a bang from this elite society of ideal mothers / wives / daughters.
Let me briefly describe what makes this book so good:
- it was written by a mother of four children, so that all the recommendations were checked by her in combat conditions;
- it has a lot of simple but effective tips;
- after each chapter, practical tasks, the mere completion of which is +10 points to the "good housewife" scale;
- one short chapter is one day of the week, so you will always find time to read this book;
- it contains many real stories from those who have been trained by Marina Yaroslavtseva;
And one more important point: this book will surely inspire you to be a good housewife. While reading it, I put things in such order at home that I even received an SMS: “Our house is so clean!”. Can you imagine? And it really motivates me to re-read it again in order to seriously work on my habits.
And now some quotes from the book:
“Order does not mean at all that the house should turn into a museum. If you cleaned and vacuumed in the nursery, and after five minutes toys are scattered on the floor, it means that the nursery is in order. There is a number and everything is in its place (the place of toys in this moment on the floor around a playing child). If you accept this, it will become much easier for you. No need to torture yourself and put too much difficult tasks, then get nervous, rushing to fulfill them.
“Many women often compare themselves to others, and very often others are just imaginary people. You can post a picture of kids playing a board game on your blog, where everything will be perfect. But you may not know that they have store-bought dumplings for dinner, or that a mountain of unironed linen was not in the frame, and five minutes before the picture there was a scandal with children over a computer. It looks like a fashion model. Hairpins, stomach pulled in, retouching - the perfect picture. The photographer removes the camera, and the shoulders stoop tiredly, the shoes fly into the corner and the makeup is erased.
“Before starting household chores, I start everything that can work on its own - a dishwasher, a washing machine, a bread machine, a slow cooker, etc. In the kitchen, I clean everything except the necessary minimum from the countertop, table and open spaces. Surfaces should be free, no jars and boxes. In the nearest reach in drawers and on shelves, I leave only what I use every day. What we use once a month is raised to the most distant shelves, and everything that is used less often is put away in the upper drawers or even taken out to the garage. I clean the kitchen every day, all the way down to the place for the trash can and the windowsill. The last thing is to wash the floors and leave from there. Now I take a break with a clear conscience, giving myself half an hour.
Who are the enemies of order? This is not a husband putting his socks by the bed and putting a cup past the sink, and not children throwing everything everywhere. Enemy number one is things we don't use."
“Get rid of the habit of leaving clothes where they are not supposed to be: on an armchair, chairs and other furniture - things should only be in the closet. Don't put everything out of sight - just fold it neatly and put it in its place. Don't let bags and boxes in the corners become the norm. Keep a to-do list—clearing closets, sorting toys, etc. Plan only one big thing for each day, for a total of five big things for the week. On Saturday - one big thing for the husband (purely masculine). Leave the weekend as free from business as possible - only time for children and the family as a whole.
“Make a shopping list and stick it on the fridge next to the menu. They remembered that the powder had run out, so they came up and wrote it down. We took down the list and went to the supermarket with the whole family at the weekend. For convenience, it can be immediately divided into sections: products, household chemicals, and so on. Don't forget that a pencil should always be poison with a refrigerator."
“Don't cut yourself, don't judge or compare yourself to others, and you have a lot to learn. Compare yourself to yourself yesterday.
✰ ✰ ✰
All mothers have one physical
disadvantage: they only have two arms
You have a child - a gentle, beloved creature. All your time you devote only to him. How else? After all, he needs care 24 hours a day: feed, swaddle, change clothes, change diapers, wash, bathe. And all this, despite the sleepless nights, the lack of help from her husband (someone still needs to earn money for diapers), the need to run a household, and possibly continue their studies or work.
You do not think how much effort and sacrifice it costs you, but someday there comes a day when your hands give up. Because you are deadly tired, the husband complains about unironed shirts and the lack of an intimate life. The mother-in-law says that you are doing everything wrong, and the child requires more and more attention. You are torn apart, but you do not have time to do anything. Don't despair - you are not alone. Many women had to completely restructure their attitude to time and lifestyle with the advent of a child. Try it too. With the help of time management, you will feel significant relief, learn how to plan your day correctly, correctly allocate time and effort in order not only to have time to fulfill your duties, but also to relax.
In this chapter you will learn:
What is time management, why is it needed and who invented it;
What is the difference between ordinary time management and time management for a young mother, how can he help her;
Top 10 Time Management Secrets for New Moms
What is time management?
Dictionary of Economics and Finance 1
http://www.glossary.ru/
Defines time management as effective planning of working time to achieve goals, finding time resources, setting priorities and monitoring the implementation of the planned. In short, time management is the art of managing time.
The definition of time is a complex philosophical category. All a person interested in time management needs to understand is that it exists both objectively and subjectively. Time, calculated in hours, minutes, seconds, is objective for everyone. We cannot change it or influence it in any way. Subjective time is “our sense of time” 2
TIME. Control secrets. M.: AST Astrel, 2007. -
adams b.
A person who has mastered the basic tools of time management knows how to use time optimally in accordance with his tasks and needs. He not only sets goals, but also achieves them through competent planning of work and personal time. Such a person lives in harmony with himself and the world around him, because he has learned to prioritize and manages everything that he defines as important for himself.
The founder of the modern art of time management is called Benjamin Franklin, who formulated the four fundamental principles of time management. 3
See: Eremich N.G. Time management for women. How to succeed. SPb., 2008
Remaining relevant to this day:
1. Plan, otherwise you will be planned. You can only manage specific plan vision of your future.
2. Time is the most valuable resource. Since it cannot be stretched, accumulated or added to, the only solution is to organize it intelligently.
3. It is necessary to be able to distinguish the main from the secondary.
4. Only methodical adherence to a given course can lead a person to the goal.
Thus, time management is the art of time management. The person who has mastered it lives in harmony with himself and the people around him, as he manages everything that he defines as the main thing.
How can time management help a new mother?
Interesting fact
English doctor Mike Scott in his study showed that the profession of "mother" and "housewife" is more stressful than a full-time job. It took into account the heart rate of mothers and workers for 24 hours. As it turned out, working women had a pulse of 80 beats per minute, mothers - 100. The reason for the increased pulse is simple: mothers must be constantly on the alert, after "finishing work" to perform other duties. At night, mothers cannot really relax, especially if they have small children - the body is in constant readiness4
Based on the materials of the book on it. language: Nusbaum K. Family everyday life under full control. Munich: Graefe and Unzer. P. 9
Time management for a new mother refers to women's time management, which in Lately isolated separately. A woman, especially in our country, traditionally runs the household, the main responsibilities for raising and caring for children fall on her, in addition, she often manages the family's finances. Time management for a new mother is the most difficult in practical application, since a small, unpredictable creature interferes in the planning of time - a child. Satisfaction of his interests cannot be postponed until later, even if this does not correspond to what was planned by the mother.
If earlier you did not belong to the category of people who rigidly plan your life, and left it to fate to lead it, you had enough time, if not for everything, then for the main thing, then when a baby appears in the family, everything starts to go according to new laws. Newborns do not know how to wait, so everything must be done quickly - caring for a baby requires efficiency and dexterity from the mother. The kid shamelessly urges his parents on with his cry, it is impossible to refuse him, especially at first. Some things that are not related to it are shelved, some are abandoned or forgotten. However, the moment when it becomes impossible to postpone comes very quickly. It was then that the realization comes that you need to learn to do the same thing as before, but now with a “screaming weight” in your hands.
Motherhood places high demands on a woman. The responsibility for a small defenseless creature, unknown before the birth of a child, presses on her. She is overwhelmed with new feelings, hormones and the need for constant care for the baby. In order to master everything, a young mother must quickly recover after childbirth. She has to acquire a lot of new skills and teach them to her husband. At the same time, it is necessary to remain calm, because stress negatively affects the formation of milk and the mood of the baby. Gradually, the usual female duties around the house, and possibly study and work, are added to the care of the child. How to combine everything? When should you start preparing for your baby? How do you plan your day to get everything done? This is where good time management comes in handy.
Time management answers not only the pressing issues of managing the daily schedule of time. He helps a woman decide when it is better to take a break in her career, how to find a middle ground between a child and work, career and family. Time management can help a woman, both in global family planning and in the daily work of raising a baby. Having mastered the main secrets of time management, a young mother can manage it in such a way as to be in time for everything essential and at the same time not infringe on the interests that are important for her and her baby.
The main secrets of time management for a young mother
Each time management specialist highlights the basic rules or principles of time management. Almost all of them are applicable for young mothers, taking into account individual features. For example, the ability to prioritize and spend time on the main thing is a universal rule of time management. However, when applied to a young mother, it is filled with special content, because for her the main thing was determined initially - her child. Is it possible to put some other interest on a level equal to this priceless gift? Most likely not, although everyone ultimately decides for himself. The main principles or, as I call them, secrets help to direct the thoughts of a young mother in the right direction and create a basis for her self-determination and self-organization.
The following chapters of the book detail will be discussed about the ten main secrets of time management for young mothers:
1. Spend time on the most important thing - your child. Otherwise, learn to prioritize.
2. Unobtrusively plan your day while remaining flexible. In global planning, by contrast, be consistent.
3. When there is not enough time, ask for help and delegate authority. Take the reins of power in the house for yourself.
4. Optimally organize space and mode. settle down maximum amount affairs, while the child is awake, give the baby’s sleep time to yourself for relaxation (self-realization, work / study).
5. Keep it simple! For the sake of the child, you can even forget about long-term complexes!
6. Settle household chores quickly and discreetly. Keep cleaning to a minimum. Use the techniques of "rush", "five minutes" and "weekly cleaning".
7. Do not sharpen yourself at home with a child! Stay mobile, help yourself with technical innovations.
9. Take time to relax.
10. Do not get tired of gaining experience from other moms.
The ten top secrets of time management for a new mother, which will be discussed in more detail in the following chapters of the book, will help you direct your thoughts in the right direction and organize them. In every chapter you will find practical advice to save time, spend it with the greatest benefit, in order to ultimately enjoy the priceless minutes with your baby.
Chapter 2
My God, how life slipped by, and I even
never heard the nightingales sing
F.G. Ranevskaya
It is not difficult for a young mother to decide who is the main thing for her - her child. This uniqueness has its advantages and disadvantages. The needs of the baby are met instantly, all the rest are relegated to the background. For the time being, for the time being. A young mother, one way or another, will have to learn to highlight other priorities, divide them into main and secondary ones, skillfully combine the interests of the child, herself and people close to them. It will only benefit the baby if his parents find time for each other, and his mother finds time for things he loves (books, sports, shopping, girlfriends), so that, after resting, with special inspiration, sing lullabies to the baby and build sand castles with him.
In this chapter you will learn:
How is the main and secondary in time management determined;
How to resolve the main conflict in the life of a modern woman: "child" ("family") or "career";
How can a young mother cope with the secondary at a time when all attention is directed to the baby.
How is the main and secondary in time management determined?
One of the Russian gurus of the art of time management, Gleb Arkhangelsky, calls time management the science of spending time on the main thing. The easiest way to highlight the main thing is to do this by fixing life goals. If you have not done this yet, then try it right now, following the inner call "I WANT IN THIS LIFE ...". Close your eyes, let your imagination run for a few seconds, and immediately write down everything that comes to mind on paper. It can be both desires already realized by you, and dreams. You don't have to write, you can draw.
It might look something like this.
"I WANT IN THIS LIFE":
Live in your own apartment;
Marry a loved one and live happily with him until old age;
To give birth to a child, and preferably two;
Always have time for hobbies, especially for reading.
If you want a lot or nothing comes to mind, then focus on the classification of basic human needs (according to Maslow). Most often, people intuitively repel in determining their desires from them:
1. Physiological: hunger, thirst, sexual desire, etc.
2. Existential: security of existence, comfort, constancy of living conditions.
3. Social: social connections, communication, affection, caring for the other and attention to oneself, joint activities.
4. Prestigious: self-respect, respect from others, recognition, achievement of success and appreciation, promotion.
5. Spiritual: knowledge, self-actualization, self-expression.
You can modify and supplement already defined goals in accordance with the above classification.
In our example, life goals will take the following form:
1. Have the opportunity not to save on food.
2. Buy an apartment in the property.
3. Have a family: a child (two) and a reliable partner.
4. Work and career growth do not play a big role. Enough respect and recognition as a wife and mother.
5. Have time for spiritual self-improvement, hobbies, especially reading.
Why do we need life goals? In our example, if the question arises whether to go to the cinema or read a book, the woman is likely to give preference to the latter. In her case, the main conflict of most modern women is also missing: career or family. She unconditionally gives preference to the family. However, even in this simple case, there are “conflicts of interest” – a child or a hobby, time with a husband or reading? And how to solve the problem of food, not to mention the acquisition of an apartment, without working? Most likely, they will have to be solved by her husband, whom she will unconditionally support and stimulate in her career.
The presence of life goals helps a person to determine his priorities - with the main thing. The main thing is what he aspires to, what he wants to achieve in life, what he plans for. All other goals are secondary. Depending on a particular life stage, one of the goals may become a priority. It can be divided into several subgoals, which in turn become the main ones. This allows you to gradually implement your plans and avoid competition between life goals.
Planning for the realization of life goals belongs to global planning (see chapter 3). For most women, the birth of a child is exclusively important step and belongs to one of the main life priorities.
Thus, the main thing in time management is determined in accordance with the life goals of a person, which, in turn, are formed on the basis of basic interests and values. Everything else is secondary. In one or another period of life, one or another main goal may prevail over others. This is what usually happens when a child is born. The child becomes the top priority. As he grows up, other life goals come to the fore.
How to resolve the main conflict in the life of a modern woman: "child" or "career"?
Combine personal life and a career is not easy. Historically, a woman has followed her natural role of mother and wife. Today the situation has changed dramatically - most modern women can no longer imagine life without self-realization in work. They study, successfully make a career, provide material wealth, only then establish a personal life and give birth to a child. In their global planning, both the child and the career are the main goals. The conflict between them can be resolved by counting step by step implementation of these goals.
Another option for the phased implementation of goals is the birth of a child at a young age, so that later, when he grows up, he will be able not to interrupt his career growth.
Both options are possible ways to resolve the child-career conflict. A woman sets priorities and consciously puts a child or a career in the first place in one or another time period of her life.
It is impossible to comfortably implement these two directions at the same time. Therefore, even if the pregnancy was not planned, a woman needs to make every effort to free herself for the first time after the birth of a child from other worries. It is in such a situation, when the news of the baby comes unexpectedly, that it is difficult for the expectant mother to navigate and decide to interrupt her studies or work, at least for the first time. The born child is passed into the hands of the grandmother, and the young mother continues to pursue a career, as if nothing had happened. Only after many years (especially if the child is the only one in the family) comes the realization that she missed a lot in her life - his first smile, first steps, first word.
Temporary distancing can help to assess the situation more objectively. Try to look at what happened from the perspective of five years, ten years, or a lifetime. Ask a question to older, more experienced people. None of them will say that they regret that they spent too little time at work. In their declining years, most complain about the lack of communication with family and children. Do you want to add to their list?
From personal experience
For me, professional self-realization has always come first. Until I was thirty, all I did was study and work. As soon as I found out that we were about to have a baby, I decided that for a few years I would devote myself completely to the family. My husband and I have always wanted multiple children and knew that the early years are the most important for toddlers. As the saying goes, children are brought up as long as they fit across the bed. Then comes re-education. For this I left a prestigious job. How many times after sleepless nights, when Sasha was teething or had a stomach ache, I thanked myself for this decision. I can imagine what it would cost me to go to work on such days! It was clarity in the matter of priorities that helped me in difficult times. I never regretted my decision, and very soon we decided on a second baby. I think if I returned to work, such a miracle would not happen, at least not so quickly.
How much time to stay with the baby at home without work?
Expert opinion
“Physiologists and child psychologists say that already in the first six months after birth, the child's brain reaches 50 percent of its potential, and by three years - 80 percent. It is during this period that the foundation is laid on which the further intellectual development of the child rests. The period from one to three is the most sensitive (sensitivity - high sensitivity), this early experience- images, thinking, emotions - is laid in the subconscious for life and dictates its own conditions. At the same age, character is laid down, interests are formed, values are determined. And if at this time there will be an outsider with the child, will he give him as much as his mother? Someone else's hands at this age - terrible "5
Rich-Cork A. Career or child? Internet portal "Mamochka" http://www.mamochka.kz/article.php?article_id=1059
For any woman, the decision of the question of how much time to devote to the baby and how much, accordingly, to take away from work, is not easy. Very often, the unresolved material problems, the employer and their own professional unfulfillment are urged on. Sometimes a woman, faced with the first problems of motherhood, decides that this is not her calling, and goes to work, passing the baby into the more reliable, in her opinion, hands of a grandmother or a nanny. Today they go to work even two weeks after giving birth.
Be that as it may, every woman should understand that the entire responsibility and burden of combining two tasks will have to be borne not only by her, but also by the baby. The consequences of early weaning from the mother may not come immediately, but after a few years. Such children suffer from increased anxiety, which then causes the appearance of fears, phobias and various defensive reactions, including aggressiveness. Yes, and the mother may have complexes of guilt, which will not be slow to manifest itself in her relationship with the child.
If there is no other way out, then you should start by doing individual tasks at home or part-time, gradually moving to a full-time job. During this time, the baby gets used to the kindergarten, the nanny or loved ones looking after him. With regard to specific dates, one can be guided by the experience of leading civilized countries.
In most of them, conditions are created for the young mother to stay with the child for at least a year. For example, in Germany they passed a special law to support the birth rate among the educated segments of the population, according to which the mother (or father) receives two-thirds of the average salary, but not more than 1800 Euros per month, until the child is one year old. After that, a child allowance of 184 euros per month is paid. For a non-working woman with a child under the age of three, the state pays pension contributions based on the average earnings in the country. At the same time, children under one year old are taken to the nursery extremely rarely, up to two years old - as an exception. The usual period of admission to kindergarten is two to three years.
In Russia, material support is not so tangible. For a while maternity leave(70 days before and after the birth of a child) a maternity allowance is paid in the amount of the average wage for the last 12 calendar months, but not more than 25,390 rubles (2009). After that, a young mother (or a person replacing her) is entitled to a one-time allowance for the birth of a child, which in 2009 amounted to 9,592.03 rubles. It is paid by the body of social protection of the population at the place of residence of the child no later than 10 days from the date of provision of all required documents. From the moment the child is born, a young mother can receive a monthly child care allowance. Up to a year and a half, it is 40% of the average earnings, but not less than 1,798.51 rubles and not more than 7,194.03 rubles. After one and a half years and up to three, the state established the amount of compensation payments in the amount of 50 rubles. This suggests the age at which our legislators encourage women to return to work.
In a family of thousands of bloggers who grew up from LiveJournal. Included in the TOP-50 most popular bloggers in Russia. 2013 received Rynda of the Year in the nomination "The First Educational Blog".
She is the mother of four children, three of which are almost the same age. At the same time, she is very active throughout their childhood (the eldest has already gone to college) writes: she maintains several blogs, where she posts her recipes, master classes with needlework, and so on and so forth and so on. Has a lot of hobbies, an ideal home and develops children. And it seems like a kind of lively guy who manages to do everything everywhere.
In recent years, she has been conducting trainings named after herself: how to do everything. And this book is
How to do everything. Time Management for Moms" is a "paper" training, which is now available to those who cannot come to the real one.
I will say right away that she does not like the system and is afraid. Therefore, I created something of my own - (actually very similar). I liked the book very much, from January 1 (yeah, yeah, we know these promises))))) I will try to live according to it. With the same message, it can be given to a beginner or an experienced, but tired mother for the New Year).
More:
The book is divided into 20 steps, each of which covers a particular area of a woman’s and mother’s life: “order with the house”, “rest: evenings, holidays and weekends”, “five mistakes in setting the “husband” option and others.
Each step has a theoretical part, examples from the author's personal experience and a mandatory task, without which it makes no sense to move on to a new step, so that the training would be useful. The entire program, as conceived by the author, is designed for 4 weeks, not counting weekends.
Every day, the author suggests making small changes in your life, and at the end of the week, look at what happened. At the end of the book there is a diary that you need to keep on your own for each step, which includes sections: “new”, “conclusions”, “praise yourself”. And at the very end of 2 pages especially for new ideas.
Quotes from the book
What is order?
The order does not mean at all that the house should turn into a museum. If you cleaned and vacuumed in the nursery, and after five minutes toys are scattered on the floor, this means that the nursery is in order. It's clean and everything is in place. If you accept this, it will become much easier for you.
Idyll
The idyll is often deceptive. Women who manage to do everything live alone, without children, or they have servants. Everyone else has every right to be normal housewives without magical abilities.
7 saving minutes
Some mothers are surprised: what can be done in seven minutes? But if you clean for seven minutes quickly and without being distracted, you can manage to create a comfortable appearance of order. This approach will help cure laziness for those who have a lot of time, and effectively use their minimum for those who really have little time.
Nothing extra
First rule: nothing more. I used all the drawers, cabinets, and it struck me that the kitchen had only the necessary minimum. Looking inside the cabinets, you would not see a mountain of things "just in case" or "I might use this someday."
In the nursery
It is not necessary to arrange all the toys on the shelf in a line - get a beautiful plastic box and collect everything there, a minute - and in children's order.
Obyazalovka
Change your attitude towards things. Often it is the “obligation” that depresses. Gotta cook. Gotta clean up. Do you know what is really needed in this case? Change your attitude towards it!
