How to learn to hold back tears and not cry from resentment when you really want to. How to hold back tears and not cry - effective ways and tips What to drink so as not to cry when talking

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We are all different and react differently to the world. Some almost burst into tears, others will never knock out a tear.Both extremes have their drawbacks. Roaring for any reason - in front of friends, employees or complete strangers - is extremely unpleasant. On the other hand, going through all the problems "dry" can lead to the accumulation of stress and even health problems. Psychologist Maria Pugacheva helped us figure out how to find the golden mean.

Why are we different?

The predisposition to shedding tears depends on the personality of a person.: character, temperament, upbringing, metabolism and even memories. If some situation in a person is associated with an unpleasant memory or mental trauma, then it may well cause tears in him, although others will not see anything terrible in it.

It is practically impossible to do anything with this predisposition, just as it is impossible to change the type of temperament. “Tears are, first of all, a physiological reaction, a protective reaction to stress. There is very little psychology here, so it’s almost impossible to learn how to control tearing. But you can try to minimize the stress level at the time of the oncoming crying, then there is a chance to stop the tears”- explained Maria Pugacheva.

I'm not crying!

People who often cry sometimes find themselves in situations where tears flow at the most inopportune moment. The boss unfairly scolded, the coach in the gym made a remark or was rude on the bus, and now they already have a lump in their throat, their voice begins to tremble treacherously, their eyes moisten. You really don't want to cry in front of strangers! But tears do not care about what you want, they flow on their own, and this makes it even more offensive and makes you want to cry even more ...

Maria Pugacheva gave some tips to help hold back tears that come at the wrong time:

Have a drink a large number of large sips of water.
Take 5-10 deep breaths in and out.
If possible, make some sharp, intense movements.
Trigger a "pain response" by switching stress from psychological to physiological. Pinch yourself discreetly, bite your tongue a little, or pull on a lock of your hair. This method usually allows you to quickly recover.
Switch your brain away from a stressful situation: start remembering poems, phone numbers, multiplication tables in your mind.
If a particular offender caused tears in you, do not feel sorry for yourself, but switch to it. Mentally laugh at him - remember his ridiculous habits or dress him up in your imagination in a clown costume.

Crying is good

These techniques will help in the right situation to hold back tears. But don't try to do it all the time, because Psychologists say that crying is good for you.

"Tears are a kind of psychological relaxation and physiological protection from stress. Therefore, you do not need to constantly restrain them. Feel free to cry over a movie or just to yourself at home. If we just shed a tear quietly, this is a tiny release. And when we actively sob, we take a lot of deep breaths in and out, the chest is greatly reduced. In this way, we throw off the negative from ourselves at the level of physiology, giving ourselves the opportunity to avoid various psychosomatic clamps that can lead to osteochondrosis, radiculitis and other unpleasant diseases.– explained Maria Pugacheva.

Do you cry often? Have you ever found yourself in uncomfortable situations because of this?

Tears are a natural human reaction to various events. Both grief and joy can provoke them. But if some people really sob only about it, then others are so sentimental that tears well up in their eyes both on business and without it. Due to this, a person sometimes has a feeling of embarrassment that he cannot control his feelings. What can you do to stop crying for no reason? There are many different methods to help contain emotions, everyone can choose what suits him.

Why do people cry

Tears are a fluid secreted by the lacrimal gland. It consists of water, salt, calcium, magnesium and sodium carbonate. In addition, tears contain a special enzyme, lysozyme, which has antibacterial properties, and oleamide is an oily substance that prevents moisture from evaporating from the mucosal surface.

Tears perform several functions at the same time. There are no blood vessels on the cornea, so they supply it with nutrients. In addition, they moisturize and wash the eye, cleansing it of impurities. Those tears that are constantly released in a small amount are called reflex tears. But those that flow from the eyes during various experiences are called emotional. In the course of ongoing research, a close relationship was revealed between the work of the lacrimal glands and the part of the brain that is responsible for emotions.

It used to be thought that only people could have emotional tears. But ongoing research has shown that many animals also cry when emotionally upset.

What to do if you want to cry, but you can't

Women are especially emotional. Their vulnerable soul reacts with tears to any experience or joy. Tears in many cases are simply necessary, they allow you to relieve unnecessary tension and relieve stress. However, there are situations when it is absolutely impossible to cry. In these situations, tears can lead to a completely different effect:

On exams. Sometimes a student studied the material all night long, but it seems to him that the teacher is very picky and wants to put a bad mark in the student's record book, how can he not burst into tears? In this case, tears should be held back, as the teacher will consider that the tickets have not been learned and the student is trying to arouse self-pity.
At the interview. Sometimes employers conduct stressful interviews, asking inappropriate questions and making applicants very nervous. Some managers have their own recruiting tactics, already during the interview they find out the person's resistance to stress.
Do not cry on the street, where there are a lot of people. It happens that unpleasant information came during a walk and you want to sob out loud. But you should not do this, the people around you will not be able to help, but the attention of various scammers can be attracted.

There are many situations when tears will be inappropriate. In order not to give the impression of a weak person or hysteria, you should learn to control your emotions. To be able not to cry when you really want to is difficult, but quite doable for every person.

In order not to cry when cutting onions, the onion should be placed in the freezer for 5 minutes before peeling. In this case, essential oils will not stand out much.

Physical methods of influence on the body

In order not to burst into tears at the wrong moment, psychologists recommend focusing on breathing. You can start counting your breath or lift your chin up a little, take a few deep breaths through your mouth and exhale through your nose. In addition, there are a few other tricks that help prevent crying:

It is necessary to drink a couple of sips of water or cold tea. If none of this is at hand, then they simply actively swallow saliva a couple of times. This helps to quickly eliminate the lump in the throat.
You can change the position of the body. Here you need to act according to the situation, you can simply shift a stack of papers from one place to another, move to another chair, or get up and take a few steps. All this helps to divert attention from experiences.
You can strongly pinch yourself on the arm or leg. You can fix the problem if you tightly clasp your fingers.
The translation of the gaze will also help to fix the problem, for example, it is worth looking at the picture hanging at the other end of the room.

It should be borne in mind that all these techniques will be useless if lacrimation is caused by a mote that has entered the eye, allergies, or fatigue. In this case, it is better to apologize, leave the room and clean yourself up. To do this, you can take allergy medication or just wash your face with cold water.

So that a bad mood does not haunt you all day, you should drink hot tea after an unpleasant conversation or smile sincerely at yourself in the mirror several times.

Psychological tricks

In order not to burst into tears at the most inopportune moment, you need to think about something that will take all your attention. Psychologists recommend using the following techniques:

Start repeating the multiplication table to yourself or come up with and solve a mathematical problem. This will allow not only to be distracted, but also to include the left hemisphere, which is responsible for all computational operations. Emotions are controlled by the right hemisphere of the brain. But if both hemispheres work simultaneously, then there will be no time for emotions.
You can remember and sing a funny children's song to yourself. Any verses will do, but only they should be filled with positive emotions.
If the desire to cry causes a conversation with an unpleasant person, then you can imagine him in a funny and awkward situation. The desire to cry will immediately disappear, but the main thing here is not to laugh, as the effect can be unpredictable.
Some people just smile all the time when they're in trouble. For some, this may seem strange, but such a tactic of behavior is justified if you need to hold back tears.
You can mentally motivate yourself not to cry. Self-hypnosis will help to do this, you need to constantly repeat that you need to control yourself, under any circumstances.
To quickly stop crying for no reason, you can recall a comic situation. Too sentimental people should think over a few really funny situations in advance and recall them on occasion.

Come up with a reason for others

If it is impossible to hold back tears, then you can simply come up with a reason for others and cry enough. Tears can be explained by the following factors:

Headache, as well as pain in the legs, arms, whatever.
Allergy. Everyone knows that with allergies, the eyes are very watery. That is, we can say that an allergic attack is caused by the smell of perfume products, and cry quietly.
Mote getting into the eye. This will help explain reddened and moist eyes.

Injury to the visual organs can also cause lacrimation. Tears can be explained by a branch that accidentally fell into the eye.

In addition, the use of eye drops can be a good explanation. Many of them have such a side effect as lacrimation.

cry

In some cases, you should not hold back tears, whether they are from joy or from grief. This will help normalize the state of mind. And it’s not worth explaining something to someone here, we are all human and have the right to feelings. Sometimes people just need to talk to someone, for this a true friend or girlfriend is suitable.

When to take medication

In some cases, you should not try to hold back crying, but accept it as soon as possible. medications. You need to do this in such cases:

Sometimes you just need to hold back your tears. This is easy to do if you know certain tricks. In some cases, a sincere smile helps to distract from crying.

First you have to get rid of embarrassment. Many people do not cry, even when it hurts a lot, because they are afraid that they will be judged, that they will think badly, they will laugh. Watch others and you will understand that only in childhood, drops from the eyes were something negative, in adulthood it is a means to achieve one's own, as well as a way to express real emotions. And there is nothing wrong with such manifestations.

Physical ways to bring tears

The easiest way to induce tears is not to blink. Hold your eyes wide open for a few seconds. The surface will begin to dry out, and drops from the tear streams will be a way to restore water balance. You can turn away and then raise tear-stained eyes. But it's better to practice beforehand.

You can also cry from onions. It just needs to be sniffed or cut. This option is suitable for filming or theatre, real life the smell of this plant will give you away, so be careful. A similar way is menthol balm or "asterisk". Apply a small amount to the skin under the lower eyelid. A strong smell will definitely cause tears, be very careful not to get this substance in your eyes.

Use special drops - natural tears. This is a safe way to cause even a tantrum. They will roll like real ones. But in order to realize this, you will have to move away for a couple of minutes to quietly drip them. You can buy such a remedy at a pharmacy, and it is important to follow the instructions for use.

You can also hurt yourself. Pulling hair out of the nose or eyebrows also provokes tearing. And this can be done in almost any atmosphere, and everything will seem very natural.

Moral Ways to Cry

To squeeze out a tear, you need to remember something terrible. Everyone has resentment, severe shock, the death of loved ones or something similar. Just play such a moment in your memory, and tears will well up in your eyes. Of course, it is not very pleasant to return to that time in memories, but if you really need it, then you can use it. Not everyone succeeds the first time, because the habit of hiding emotions gets in the way, so training in front of a mirror will not be superfluous.

And if you don’t want to think about unpleasant things in your life, think about films or literary heroes that shocked you. Images from childhood especially evoke a reaction. For example, a picture about how Gerasim drowned Mumu can touch the heart and help in the implementation of the plan.

But the most important thing is not just to play tears, but to be sincere so that people around believe. Therefore, look for something bad in the circumstances around, take a closer look, and perhaps the tears themselves will begin to flow without special impact.

There are many situations in which people try to hold back tears - for example, in an exam or a job interview.

Or at a meeting with the authorities, having heard rude criticism addressed to him. Or at school, getting an unfair C in algebra. Or after a fight, when crying from pain and humiliation is simply embarrassing.

How to stop crying when you're sad

Great grief becomes the cause of endless tear streams. After the death of a relative or a break with a loved one, it can be difficult to stop moaning.

Tears cleanse, allow you to throw out emotions that are bursting over the edge - that's right. Therefore, psychologists advise you to cry properly in a difficult situation for you.

But after a day or two, it is important to regain control over the senses and the lacrimal glands.

Strong hysterical crying day and night can lead to serious stress for the body, a nervous breakdown and prolonged depression.

And when you need the strength to stop and stop crying, they will no longer be.

At this moment, it is important to change the vector, get distracted, find the energy in yourself to leave the house, go to the cinema or cafe, meet friends.

Any public place will become a deterrent: not everyone wants to cry in public.

Order yourself a soothing tea, watch the pedestrians. Watch a funny movie or an exciting series, listen to music, dance.

While your brain is busy contemplating and coordinating movements, it forgets about experiences.

Try to spend more time in the company of conversations: Don't talk, just watch and listen.

The more your feelings are occupied, the more productive the "therapy" will be. You can, for example, fiddle with a napkin or draw in a notebook to also include touch.

Bitter tears and positive thinking

Often the culprit of tears over trifles is a disturbed hormonal background.

If you are crying with or without reason, you should contact an endocrinologist, check the thyroid gland and donate blood for “especially nervous” hormones.

A corrective course of vitamins and pills will save you from the problem that you suffered from in school.

Learning not to cry when you're upset isn't easy. After all, this is an instinctive reaction of the body, which is difficult to train. Tears themselves flow, giving vent to pain, resentment and other negative emotions.

What is important is control not over the body, but over your thoughts. If you see everything in black, then crying becomes a frequent companion in life.

A positive mindset can help you deal with tantrums. In every loss, look for an opportunity. Have you been fired? It's okay, this is a chance to look for the place of your dreams.

Dumped boyfriend? But reproach yourself, do not imagine that now life is over, because it has only just begun.

First dates, languid glances, furtive kisses - you have been given the opportunity to go through this path first, with a more suitable person.

How to hold back tears and not burst into tears

Sometimes tears become traitors and arise in the most awkward situation. They seem to specifically demonstrate to others that you are not an alpha male or female at all, but an ordinary loser and crybaby.

What to do so as not to burst into tears at the wrong time:

1. Breathing exercises help to calm down and hold back tears. If you feel like you're about to burst into tears, take a very deep breath through your nose.

Exhale slowly, pause, and slowly, consciously inhale again. Play for a minute in "breathe - do not breathe." You should think only about the breath, and not about the annoying factor or hurtful words.

Taking deep breaths slows your heart rate, relieves tension, and relieves the hyperventilation problem that often occurs with tantrums.

2. Change your posture, stand up, straighten your shoulders, take a sip cold water, pinch yourself, bite your lip. These physiological distraction methods are very effective.

Ask to leave the office - go wash yourself, eat a chocolate bar or a handful of nuts, drink sweet tea.

3. Focus on a super-nice look. You can think about the upcoming vacation: draw a picture in front of your eyes where you are basking in a sun lounger under a palm tree.

Think about your beloved child - I wonder how he was there at school, has he already defended the project that you did together all night? Come up with a romantic dinner that you cook on Sunday for your spouse.

4. Imagine a funny situation, which your offender could get into. For example, your boss is crucifying you.

Mentally undress him to his underpants (let it be very humiliating “heart-to-heart” family members) and make him dance the lambada. Believe me, instead of tears, only an insidious smirk will appear on your face.

5. Let your emotions out at the wrong time so they don't accumulate.

Help relieve stress intimate conversations with girlfriends, an unequal fight with a punching bag, jogging around a beautiful lake in the morning, intense cardio in the gym.

Good also, meditation on morning coffee, massage sessions with a good specialist for relaxation.

If you have a stressful job that brings you to tears every now and then, you should devote more time to relaxation.

6. To give vent to feelings and not get hung up on situations, put them on paper when you get home.. You can start a whole diary for a bad mood.

Write what exactly hurt you, why this is a sore subject for you, how much you are worried.

Describe your emotions as precisely as possible: “I am very angry with Petr Ivanovich, I am depressed and feel powerless, I am annoyed by my low position, I am afraid to show everyone my weakness.”

And then close the diary and go for a walk.

If the situation that makes you cry has dragged on, remember the words of the wise Solomon. Everything goes and it is also.

We all have to laugh in another, adult and serious life, how we sobbed over the deuce in the diary and could not hold back tears when we saw our beloved high school student with a beautiful girl.

But we survived it, which means that everything else will be on the shoulder.

The article talks about how to hold back tears, depending on the situation.

There are situations when pain and resentment cause a desire to cry, however, there are also situations when these tears will be inappropriate. How can we make sure that no one sees our tears?

How to hold back tears when you want to cry from resentment, when talking?

Sometimes it is very difficult to hold back tears, and there are even situations when it seems that it is simply impossible to do this. In this case, psychologists have several ways, using which you can take control of the situation.

switch attention

To do this, you can use some questions that will definitely make you distract from crying. These are questions like “is my stove turned off?” or “is my apartment closed?”.

You can remember the multiplication table, the lyrics of your favorite song, or the password for something important to you.

You can also switch your attention in another way, turning your gaze to some object. It is desirable that the object of your attention has many small details that should be carefully considered, counted, etc.

turn on the imagination

To do this, you can imagine the person who offended you in a bizarre way. The most important thing here is not to laugh, otherwise you can harm yourself even more in an already tense situation.

Pinch yourself or bite your lip

Physical sensations that you will definitely focus on, for example, while pinching your wrist, can also help to recede emotions.

Focus on your breath or hold it completely

To do this, you need to slowly and deeply inhale through your nose and exhale for a long time through your mouth, concentrating on the process itself. Also, during an emergency, the human body itself is able to get rid of secondary matters, so you can just hold your breath.

drink water

If possible, you should drink water, concentrating on the process itself. It is necessary to drink slowly, in small sips.

Make sudden movements

Sharp movements always help to relieve tension, so you can try to stand up abruptly, sit down abruptly, open a window, push a chair, etc. If it is not possible to make sudden movements, then you can simply try to abruptly change position, straighten your shoulders, raise your head, while concentrating on your breathing.

Avoid direct views of third parties

Any, even a small look of sympathy in your direction can cause a rapid flow of tears, so you should avoid such looks in every possible way. There is no need to look at anyone, it is better to look out the window, at a picture, etc.

Use a pen or phone

If the situation and conditions allow, then in a critical situation, you can start writing something nice on a piece of paper. Thus, it will be possible to distract from a stressful situation.

You can also use, for example, a mobile phone or tablet. If tears begin to come, then you can just get distracted and look at the Internet.

Leave the room during the heat of passion

If the situation has escalated to the limit, then, avoiding tears, you should leave the room where you were caught in an unpleasant situation as soon as possible. Such a decision will help to avoid tears, let go of the situation, calm down.

After the tension recedes, you can try to continue the conversation.

After the situation that could cause you to cry is left behind, you should proceed as follows:

Wash your face, neck, arms up to the elbow with cool water. You can use an ice cube by putting it on your wrist

Wash your face - avoid tears

Look in the mirror and smile, even when you don't feel like it. Tell yourself everything is fine
Think about something pleasant, if you wish, you can read a prayer
drink sweet tea
speak up, talk about exciting question someone close who can support you

How to hold back tears from pain?

There are also some ways that will help to avoid tears not only from resentment, but also from pain. For this you need:

Keep your eyes open as wide as possible, while trying not to blink
It is necessary to raise your eyebrows high and stay in this position until the pain begins to subside
It is necessary to look up, while not raising your head. Stay in this state until the pain begins to recede
It is necessary to relax all the muscles of the face and open wide-wide and then close the mouth several times.

In order not to cry from pain, you can use some of the tips from the previous section.

How to learn to control tears and emotions?

In order to learn to hold back your tears, control your emotions, you should increase your self-esteem.

Increase confidence in yourself and your abilities daily workouts. To do this, standing in front of a mirror, you should tell yourself that nothing and no one threatens you, that you will go through all the hardships, that you are strong, smart, self-confident.

Among other things, it is worth taking care in advance about what thoughts will distract you from the situation itself in a stressful situation, when you are overwhelmed with emotions or you are about to cry.

Whatever situations arise in Everyday life, it should be remembered that tears are not always a manifestation of weakness. Sometimes tears are simply necessary to relieve tension during emotional discharge - this is just the body's reaction to stress.