Children's books      06/01/2020

Friday sarcasm. Friday: cool statuses, aphorisms, quotes

The boss gathers employees on Monday for a planning meeting.
- Today is Monday, you understand, it’s a difficult day, today you need to move away from the weekend, don’t strain too much, on Tuesday, as usual, you need to start swinging for work, on Wednesday you need to work hard, Thursday is almost Friday, and Friday is Friday, short day and all... Any questions?
How long will this Wednesday shit go on??!!

4 years ago


[best of the day] [top of the week] [best of the month] [random joke]

Today is Thursday. It's worse than Saturday. But better than Tuesday. Moreover, it is much better than Monday. But a little worse than Friday. Warms that Thursday is still better than Wednesday. A little.

I'll tell you more. Thursday is even better than Sunday. Because on Sunday tomorrow is Monday, and on Thursday tomorrow is Friday.

There is news in the office - the old boss quit, now there is a new one.
collects new boss subordinates in his office and says:
- Now everything will be different for you. Starting from the schedule. Monday and Tuesday - preparation for the working day. Wednesday is a working day. Thursday and Friday - preparation for the weekend. Saturday and Sunday are days off.
One of the subordinates
- How much longer are we going to plow on Wednesdays?

In the newly formed holding, the new head holds an introductory meeting, announces the work schedule:
-On Monday we rest after the weekend, on Tuesday we rest before Wednesday, on Wednesday... we work, on Thursday we rest after Wednesday, and on Friday we rest before the weekend. All clear? What will be the questions?
- Aren't we zaeb..sya work on Wednesday?!

Once Friday came to visit Robinson and was surprised to see that he was sitting surrounded by six girls.
- Who are they?
- Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday!

Thursday is little Friday!
- And for me, so Thursday is the fourth Monday.

It's good that today is Friday, you can normally sit and drink.
- Oleg, but today is Monday!
- It doesn't matter, I'm already set.

I love Monday! Because Tuesday comes after him, and then Friday is not far away.

If you change the name of Monday to "preliminary Friday" or "test Friday", then it will be psychologically much easier to transfer the first working day of the week.

What day is Friday the 13th?
- Oh, it's a terrible day when witches, kikimores and mermaids have a sabbath.
- Just do not confuse Friday 13 and March 8 ....

Chief - employee:
- You've been late for work for the fifth day in a row. What conclusion am I
do you think it should do?
- It's Friday today!

It's good that today is Friday, you can swell normally.
- Today is Tuesday!
- I'm already set.

Stop being picky! a wife says to her husband at dinner. - On Monday you ate pea puree with pleasure, on Tuesday and Wednesday - too, on Thursday you didn’t refuse, and suddenly today you were capricious! ..

A young sailor asks the boatswain about how, in the conditions of the open sea, one can relieve sex need without resorting to masturbation. The boatswain replies that the sailor can use a special barrel with a hole. The sailor tried it, liked it, asks the boatswain:
- How often can you?
- Yes, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, at least around the clock ...
What about on Thursday?
- And on Thursday you will sit in a barrel ...


12% on Monday,
23% on Tuesday,
40% on Wednesday,
20% Thursday
and 5% on Friday.

Always give your 100% at work!
12% on Monday,
23% on Tuesday,
40% on Wednesday,
20% Thursday
and 5% on Friday.

Knight's move: Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday.

It is noticed that the two longest working days are Monday and Friday.
A scientific justification for this anomaly has not yet been found.

The more drunk on Monday, the closer Friday.

The more drunk on Monday, the closer Friday.

Who doesn't love Friday? Probably only those who study or work on Saturdays. For everyone else, this day of the week is the last working day, and therefore the first day off. From this day on, people start celebrating holidays. Some note to such an extent that they wake up only on Monday. Start preparing for the end of the work week at the very beginning. Choose a cool status about Friday and publish it on your page in social network. You can choose right on this entertainment portal. Here we have posted statuses only about Friday, so you do not have to search all over the Internet for a funny status. To post or send to friends as moral support.

I worked hard today, and realized that today is Friday only when at 4 o'clock with a cry of "Who is the last - that sucker!" ran away director

The soul waited with admiration for Friday, and the liver and kidneys waited with horror for Monday.

Monday morning began, as always, unexpectedly - after Friday evening.

We all work according to the Robinson Crusoe method - we are waiting for Friday!

It is difficult to protect the liver from bad ecology. Especially on Fridays

Cool status about Friday: Better than Friday - only Saturday

The scribe comes unnoticed - on the night from Friday to Monday ...

If there is a pack of cigarettes in your pocket, and a bottle of red wine in your bag during the lesson, then Friday starts with a bang.

It can happen to anyone! A box of vodka on Friday attacked two men and took away their entire salary!

Yesterday was Friday, tomorrow is Saturday, and today what then?

On Thursday I drank, on Friday I drank, on Saturday I drank, and on Sunday I slept, but I dreamed that I drank!

Thursday is good because after Friday comes Saturday. Remember this Wednesday

If earlier people dreamed of reaching for the stars, now it’s enough for many to hold out until Friday evening

Cool status about Friday: Let everything in life pass by, except for Fridays, money and intimacy.

I won't drink anymore. I definitely won't because of you. I won't do so much. Never. Until Friday...

On Friday, I promise myself not to go online on the weekend, but to go for a walk with friends, go to a cafe. But waking up on Saturday, I understand that I have no friends, and money for a cafe, too.

If you start drinking on Friday evening, then there will be eight days in a week: five working days and three days off.

Oh, not in vain ... It was not in vain that Robinson called his friend Friday, otherwise it was all Saturday and Sunday, and Saturday and Sunday - and after all, one could sleep to the green devils!

Do the words "drunkard" and "Friday" sound similar by chance?

You're late for work for the fifth day in a row. What conclusion do you think I should draw? - That today is Friday.

Friday! It's time to experiment on the body.

Pensioner Petrova named her daughter Friday, so as not to forget when the “Field of Miracles” was.

Thoughts with a hangover: "Yesterday was Friday, tomorrow is Saturday ... God, what about today? .."

Only on Friday afternoon you understand: in principle, you can live.

I don’t drink anymore ... finally! - What is it? - I returned from work on Friday, tired as a dog. I decided to stay at home, dived under the covers and drank a whole bottle of cognac. - So what? - Then they saw me in three restaurants in that blanket ...

I ask you to consider the conscience lost from Friday to Saturday invalid.

Cool status about Friday: Leaving work, I try my best not to run ...

Statuses about Friday - for those who are ready to rock this weekend. Although sometimes the best vacation is a quiet time with your family.

Why is there only one Friday a week?

  1. If you still have to work on Friday night after work, change jobs.
  2. If we start to think positively, then on Friday evening.
  3. Probably, it's time to learn how to get high from ordinary days, not only from Friday ...
  4. Diet - diet, and Friday - according to the schedule.
  5. And yet, Friday evening is much better than even Sunday morning ...
  6. Folk wisdom says that if you do not drink beer on Wednesday and Thursday evenings, it will be much better drunk on Friday.
  7. And only she alone did not care that today I was in a bad mood. And it's Friday.
  8. Amazing things are happening in the world. It's Friday in the world!

Friday is also a holiday

If you want to surprise your friends with an unusual phrase, set cool “Friday” statuses rather. But be extremely careful: you may be considered the most creative person in the company.

  1. It seemed that everything was bad in my life, but no: Fridays still exist in it.
  2. On weekends, you can do repairs or plow in the country all day. But Friday night you have to spend beautifully!
  3. On Monday morning, even cats cry...
  4. In general, my Friday is no different from Monday or, say, Wednesday. But still I'm waiting for it.
  5. Everyone seemed to be waiting for Friday. But not my liver...
  6. I decided to call my boyfriend Robinson Crusoe. Because he is constantly waiting for his Friday ... from work.
  7. I can't decide which is better - Friday or Saturday.
  8. I love Friday more than you. You will leave without knowing that I like Friday evening 😀

Friday is not Friday without a bottle of wine

Statuses about Friday and the weekend: well, to whom they do not warm the soul. Allow yourself such pleasure!

  1. If you hang out, then on Saturday night, when you are always sure that today is still Friday.
  2. I started to love Thursday because the next day is Friday. So soon I will love Wednesday ...
  3. On Friday, everything passes by, except for faith in life!
  4. The best thing you can do on Friday is to give up the Internet. I think it's better to drink.
  5. On Friday, you can buy something tasty for yourself, stay with a friend, or not come home at all.
  6. If on the fifth day the depression still receded, there is only one conclusion: today is Friday.
  7. The end of the week was created in order to understand that in fact we are not slaves at all ...
  8. And, you know, if Friday was 5 times a week, as we want, it would not be so attractive to us.

On Friday, it is allowed to turn on the most exciting music

If you agree that at the end of the week you really can believe in miracles, rather set cool statuses about Friday and the weekend. Believe me, your friends will definitely support you in this thought.

  1. You can endure any defeat for a week. The main thing is to crawl until Friday.
  2. What difference does it make what day of the week it is? And even though it's not, it's important.
  3. Fresh air, home comfort, a slightly drunken state - all this I associate with Friday.
  4. It's strange, Friday gives you two days off at once.
  5. The fifth day of the week is the time when I have absolutely no worries about my future. And that is great.
  6. Not everyone can dance. But on Friday at the club you can see the opposite.
  7. Who needs a Friday job anyway? Even the boss hints at it...
  8. On Sunday you can’t sew and clean, and on Friday you can’t bathe for any reason.

The day of the week called Friday sends fiery greetings to an organ called the liver ...

Funny statuses about Friday are exactly what you need on any day of the week. Warm your heart and refresh your head with pleasant thoughts.

  1. I don't know about you, but if I met goldfish, I'd order myself an eternal Friday.
  2. If Friday was every day, it turns out that we would not even be too lazy to work all our lives?!
  3. Love for Friday is what unites everyone, even enemies.
  4. Folk wisdom says that if you left on Friday evening, God forbid that you return at Sunday lunch.
  5. On your birthday, I will not wish you well. I just wish you a happy Friday.
  6. Friday is more than a day of the week. This is a real angel in the flesh.
  7. What a miracle, Friday. The day starts at good mood, and passes - even better.
  8. It's sad that if the weekend were on Friday and Saturday, then we would love Thursday more.

Friday: I'm leaving...

Mondays and Tuesdays are revenge on us for being happy on Friday. But we are not afraid, because we can set the status to “cheers Friday”.

  1. Have you noticed that even work on Friday becomes much more interesting?
  2. You've heard it a thousand times, but I'll tell you this: Friday is a wonderful day of the week. Even the 13th.
  3. There is nothing better than realizing that today, praise Jesus, is Friday.
  4. And yet, the most important holiday is a lucky Friday. Sometimes it's even better than New Year's...
  5. But if you yourself decide how your Friday will go, then you are a happy person.
  6. Friday is good. And if Friday is also in May, it's so good!
  7. Actually I have love. So what if it's a day of the week. Come here, Friday, I'll kiss you.
  8. Friday is the best preparation in the world: preparation for the weekend.

I just want to close my eyes, open them, and it's already Friday

Status-quotes “Friday” - in case you still have a free minute. Let all your friends smile a little.

  1. I love Friday, even if they keep me late at work.
  2. In general, I am a rather sad person. But not on Friday!
  3. Even a crisis is not so critical if it's Friday.
  4. Friday may not please in two cases - if you work in shifts or do not work at all.
  5. Nifiga time does not flow smoothly - it speeds up 3 times when Friday comes.
  6. It can darken the end of the week only when they promised to give out a salary, but did not give it out.
  7. Someday I'll love Monday. When I live in a parallel universe.
  8. Friday is the end of productivity. But who cares?

The end of the week is made for incredible things, so you should not sit at home for it. And if you find it difficult to do this, start by setting a suitable Friday status.

As stated in one funny quote, only those who work on Saturday do not like Friday. And this is an absolutely correct statement. For the day that ends work week, and which gives anticipation of the weekend, simply can not be loved.

We are also delighted with this day of the week, and therefore made a cool selection, which included best quotes about Friday.

Statuses about Friday are funny

Friday is man's friend!

On Friday evening, you realize that, in principle, you can live.

Live like every day is Friday.

You should not look for a reason to drink on Friday. Friday is an excuse.

Monday - we leave the weekend, Tuesday - we get ready for work, Wednesday - we work, Thursday - we have a rest from work, Friday - we get ready for the weekend. Conclusion: maybe stop working on Wednesdays already!

Leaving work on Friday, I try not to run...

Just tuned in to work - and suddenly it's Friday again, rest again ... That's how it always is!

On Friday, most often you want to drink. On Monday, most often I want Friday.

Always give your 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday.

Salary on Friday - a blow to the liver.

Many people have their own traditions on Friday. All due to the fact that in a series of working days, Friday is the last working day preceding the weekend.

And, of course, it is seen as an occasion for celebration, fun, relaxation, meeting friends and much more. Well, Friday gives a reason to read quotes.

Quotes and statuses about Friday are cool

Better a bad Friday than a good Monday.

If weekends and holidays are highlighted in red on the calendar, then why isn't Friday highlighted in blue?

I love Monday - only three days until Friday.

Do you feel? Smells like a weekend!

Work according to the method of Robinson Crusoe - wait for Friday.

Friday is the best time to work!

Until Friday left .... survive Thursday!

From Monday to Friday is very far away, and from Friday to Monday is within easy reach.

If you don’t feel like working for the fifth day, then today is Friday.

Nothing ruins a Friday like the news that today is Thursday.

Not a single quote about Friday will tell you about this, but there is a so-called “Friday syndrome”. It consists in unwillingness to work and can manifest itself in a variety of ways - from a drop in efficiency to deception of superiors, in order to be released earlier.

Especially for those who have experienced this syndrome for themselves - quotes about Friday are short and funny.

Friday... Quotes...

Robinson enjoyed Friday before it was mainstream.

The dream of Friday is the most common among the working population. It starts on Monday and continues four days a week.

Friday is like a handbag - it does not contain what you are looking for, but there are many other interesting things.

Friday, she is no longer a worker, but not yet a vacationer - in a word, an expectant.

Better than Friday - only Saturday.

Friday, though not a big holiday, but constant.

For 90% of people, the main dream is the onset of Friday ...

Today, the Strugatsky brothers would not write "Monday begins on Saturday", but "Friday ends on Sunday."

Every Friday night, life begins anew.

There are only two real holidays - Friday and New Year.

Almost all quotes about Friday assure that most people's favorite pastime on this day of the week is in a bar. But if you are looking for how to spend Friday evening interesting, eventful, and most importantly - with health benefits - here are a few ideas: outdoor walks, sports, a trip out of town, time with your family. In general, there are many excellent alternatives to relax and unwind not with a glass in a stuffy place, but with benefit or at least without harm to health.

And one more piece of advice that you definitely won’t find in quotes about Friday: sometimes it’s better to sacrifice a busy evening in order to restore strength. Healthy sleep everyone needs. So if you've had a busy week, go to bed early.

About Friday with humor

Nothing can darken a Friday like a working Saturday.

We are all Friday-philes and Monday-phobes.

Friday... Squirrels are watching you.

Just as Friday is followed by Saturday and Sunday, so after quotes about Friday come

Is there anyone who does not like Friday? Probably not, Friday is almost everyone's favorite day. The work week is over and the weekend is ahead, a great opportunity to relax and have fun. Since Friday is everyone's favorite day, it deserves our attention. We offer you a selection of aphorisms and sayings about Friday, set yourself “Friday” statuses, let them remind you that the long-awaited weekend is coming soon.

Of all the days of the week, Friday is the most loved. Not even Saturday or Sunday, but Friday. Because there are two whole days of the weekend ahead. No matter how hard the working week is, on Friday evening everyone finds the strength to start the Rest program. The most terrible is Monday: the realization that the weekend has flown by and you need to work.

Everyone loves Friday, even shops have sales on Friday. The day of huge discounts is called Black Friday, this is perhaps the happiest day of the year for shopaholics, of course, because on the Friday sale you can buy branded items with a discount of up to 90%.

However, Friday is not always so friendly, on the 13th it can also be insidious. Friday the 13th is endowed with mystical properties, on this day the most mysterious and inexplicable events take place. But for absent-minded people, Friday the 13th is only a joy. Still, because there is something to write off their clumsy actions. Whatever you do on this day, and whatever happens, it's easiest to blame Friday the 13th.

You should not look for a reason to drink on Friday. Friday is an excuse.

And every occasion, as you know, needs to be washed)))

Pyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! - the ass screamed and dragged me in an unknown direction ...

At least bring it back until Monday...)))

Friday night: whole life ahead!

Monday morning: all life behind)))

Only on Friday afternoon you understand: in principle, you can live.

Understanding this goes away on Monday morning ...)

Friday came. I would like to play a dirty trick, so much so that it would be a shame at least until Wednesday ...

But what about Thursday? Let's do it until Thursday, what a dirty trick in vain)

Friday... Losers online, the rest are all offline.

But the losers will not have a headache on Saturday))

Friday, though a small holiday, but a permanent one!

And most importantly, everyone celebrates it, regardless of place of residence and religion)

Nothing foreshadowed trouble. It was a normal day, Friday the 13th...

Black cats were running all over the place...)

Friday jokes

You can’t work on Friday: Muslims have a holy day. You can’t work on Saturday: the Jews have a holy day. You can’t work on Sunday: Christians have a holy day. You can't work on Monday: Russians have a hard day.

Confess what you have there on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday? Need to unload the week!

How long will you be busy this Friday?
This Friday I'm busy until Monday!

Friday and weekend are the same!

I worked hard today, and I realized that today is Friday only when at 4 o’clock with a cry of “Who is the last - that sucker!” director escaped.

Indeed, you have earned it, usually with such a cry you are the first to run away ...)))

You're late for work for the fifth day in a row. What conclusion do you think I should draw? - That today is Friday.

If I had not been late, you would have been lost in days ...)))

Today is Friday the 13th and witches will fly around the city ... mainly on Porshe, Lexus, Infinity.

All white power will fly on the subway ...

The dream of Friday is the most common among the working population. It starts on Monday and continues four days a week.

In general, not a job, but a solid dream!

Pensioner Petrova named her daughter Friday, so as not to forget when the “Field of Miracles” was.

Along the way, she named her son Leonid, so as not to forget the name of the host ...)

I don't understand how Friday the 13th can be a bad day. It's Friday!

Only Monday can be unsuccessful, it doesn’t matter 13 or 23 ...)

cool statuses

Friday traditionally began with a light dinner on Thursday and ended with a hearty breakfast on Monday.

What about lunch on a Tuesday?

On Friday, the 13th, witches, kikimoras, grandmother-hedgehogs, mermaids, furies, harpies, gorgons, shrews, valkyries and other evil spirits get together and have a sabbath. Just don't confuse Friday, March 13th and March 8th...

Oh, I forgot that this is not the same holiday, I almost congratulated my wife on Friday the 13th!)

Monday morning began, as always, unexpectedly - after Friday evening.

Why is there Saturday and Sunday in the calendar, but I don’t have them?)))

We all work according to the Robinson Crusoe method - we are waiting for Friday!

Unlike Robinson Crusoe, she comes to us without any delay!

Friday, she is no longer a worker, but not yet a vacationer - in a word, an expectant.

But when she goes into holiday status,

Thursday. I look at the clock - 16.00. I can hardly restrain myself from screaming - Hurrah! Friday in Vladivostok!

Once New Year it comes to us from Vladivostok, which means that Friday will come too!

On this list “What is the scariest thing?” ends...)

Yesterday was Friday, tomorrow is Saturday, and today what then?

Aphorisms

I love Monday - only three days until Friday.

I love Thursday so much!

People have fun, Friday is coming to us!

If everyone is friendly and happy, it means that today is Friday!)

Paying on Friday is a blow to the liver.

Salary on Monday - a blow to endurance and conscience ...)

The soul waited with admiration for Friday, and the liver and kidneys waited with horror for Monday.

You start drinking green tea - the soul and the liver will become one!)

Better than Friday - only Saturday.

Better than Saturday - only next Saturday!

Let everything in life pass by, except for Fridays, money and intimacy.

Just the money goes away with Friday ...)

For 90% of people, the main dream is the onset of Friday ...

The remaining 10% are just still very young and do not know what Friday is ...)

When on Friday evening one of the entire queue does not buy alcohol, you feel directly some kind of isolation from your native people ...

And how can I explain to them that I bought everything yesterday?))

Live like every day is Friday.

Then they will kick me out of work, and there will simply be nothing to live on ...)

Are you looking forward to Friday or are you already rejoicing in its arrival? Choose statuses from our selection and share your Friday mood with your friends!