Personal growth      06/24/2021

Psychological defense strategy. Aggression or defense Verbal defense

  • "The wind of change"
  • "Mine doesn't understand yours"
  • "I didn't really want to"
  • "Ocean"
  • "Apotheosis of the Absurd"
  • "The whole world is a theater"

One of important properties mature person with high level development of intellect, emotional sphere and other important qualities of a successful personality - the ability to defend against psychological attacks of ill-wishers. The balance of emotions is an important defensive fortress that an envious person or competitor seeks to destroy. After all, it is worth taking a person out of himself - he immediately loses the ability to think logically, make informed decisions, and see the dirty tricks in the actions of other people.

Offensive words, reproaches, nagging, spreading gossip and other methods of psychological attack act like bee venom - if a person is stung by one or more bees, then nothing bad will happen to him. But if a whole swarm attacks him, the attacked one may even die. It is the same with the emotional attacks of enemies - one injection may not piss off the opponent, but if you annoy him over and over again, the baiting tactics will bear fruit. The stronger the psychological sphere is protected, the more “bee stings” a person can withstand. But there are those who are similar to allergy sufferers - even one serving of poison completely unsettles them and even endangers their lives, they are so not protected from external attacks.

They can remain hothouse flowers for life and be protected from contact with aggressive personalities, or they can learn the necessary techniques. psychological protection and become stronger opponents in this bloodless war.

Most prestigious and highly paid professions involve working with people, so encounters with hostile and even inadequate characters are inevitable. If you have chosen the path through thorns to the stars of high achievements, then you should take the utmost care to strengthen the approaches to your nerves. Otherwise, they will be ruffled by all and sundry.

A strong psyche depends on the innate qualities of a person, his upbringing, worldview, understanding of the psychology of other people, attentiveness, ability to analyze the behavior and motives of opponents.

First of all, it is necessary to learn to understand that a person goes on a psychological attack when he has no other way to prove his case, such as facts, evidence, legal norms. When the opponent cannot do anything in more effective and obvious ways, he uses the only remaining opportunity - to drive the opponent out of himself so that he surrenders under the pressure of emotional attacks. Therefore, you need to have a stable position, be aware of your rightness from a moral and legal point of view, have a firm confidence in the steadfastness of your opinion and understand that the enemy will not be able to get you in any other way than psychological harassment. So, it is necessary to be ready for this and perceive attacks as a dishonest game of a weak person - after all, a strong and fair person will not stoop to such a level. Such an attitude puts you in the position of an elephant, at which the importunate Pug barks - it barks, but cannot do anything.

And to make it easier to cope with aggressive ill-wishers, use the following methods of psychological defense, which have been tested in psychological training and have shown their effectiveness in real life.

"The wind of change"

Remember which words, facial expressions or intonations are the most painful for you, how you can be guaranteed to get angry or depressed. Recall and vividly imagine a situation where the offender is trying to anger you with such tricks. Speak to yourself the most offensive words that can hurt you, visualize the expression on your opponent's face, which drives you crazy.

Feel this state of anger or, on the contrary, confusion that such behavior causes in you. Feel it inside yourself, disassemble it into separate emotions and sensations. What do you feel? It may be a rapid heartbeat, you are thrown into a fever, or maybe your legs are taken away, thoughts are confused, tears come to your eyes. Remember these feelings well. Now imagine that you are standing in a strong wind, and it blows away both the words of the offender and the response negative emotions. You see how he screams and swears, but all this is useless, because his cry and your reaction to his anger flies away with the wind.

Do this exercise in a quiet environment several times, and you will feel that you are already more calm about such attacks in your direction. And when faced with this situation in real life, again imagine that you are standing in a strong wind and the words of the offender, along with your emotions, fly off to the side without causing harm.

"Mine doesn't understand yours"

If you are in an unpleasant situation, shouting at you, cursing and throwing insults at you, then imagine that you are deaf or you have loud music on your headphones. Imagine that you do not hear this person at all, he opens his mouth, waves his arms, his face is distorted by a grimace of anger, and calm water surrounds you, in which you peacefully sway like algae and do not react to external stimuli. Words cannot affect you, they do not penetrate your consciousness, because you do not hear them. Observing such calmness, the enemy will quickly run out of steam, and you will be able to turn the tide in your favor.

"Kindergarten, nursery group"

If you imagine that your enemies are three-year-old unintelligent kids, then you can learn not to treat their attacks so painfully. Imagine that you are a teacher and your opponents are kindergarten children. They run, scream, act up, get indignant ... But how can you be offended by them?

Detail the situation, imagine how the enemies fall awkwardly, angrily tear toys, babble their childish curses, whimper. You must be calm and balanced, because on this moment you are the only adequate person among those present. Thinking in this way, it is impossible to take attempts to offend or humiliate seriously - they will only cause mild irony.

"I didn't really want to"

IN this method it is proposed to put oneself in the place of the fox from the fable "The Fox and the Grapes" - having failed to get what she wanted, the animal simply convinced itself of its unimportance so as not to be upset. In a situation where a friend or just a good acquaintance suddenly finds himself in the camp of the enemy, it is better to simply convince yourself that his opinion is not so important, his support is not so necessary, and his attacks are acid and unripe grapes, due to which you still don't want to see him among your friends. It is known that the most painful blow to us is dealt by those whom we trust. If this happened, it’s better not to take it as a tragedy, but to act like a fox, saying: “He was not such a close friend to me.”

"Ocean"

Seas and oceans take in the waters of turbulent rivers, but at the same time remain majestically calm. In the same way, in any situation, you are able, like the ocean, to remain calm even during the outpouring of stormy streams of abuse on you.

"Apotheosis of the Absurd"

This method of psychological defense is that the situation must be brought to the point of absurdity, after which it cannot be taken seriously either by the instigators of the conflict or its alleged victim. Most often, the aggressor starts from afar - hints, makes cautious attacks, watching the person's reaction. In this case, it is necessary to immediately exaggerate the situation to such a degree of delusion that it turns out to be bizarrely and unnaturally inflated, and any attacks in this direction arouse only laughter and irony.

"The whole world is a theater"

There are always people around us against whom we are emotionally unstable. Gather them on one stage of an imaginary puppet theater and play a funny performance in your head with the participation of these people. Bring to the fore their most stupid, funny and ridiculous characteristics - greed, slovenliness, arrogance, vanity. Make them victims of your shortcomings. Make you do funny things and look comical. The main thing is that they start to make you laugh. Then, when you meet them, you will no longer be embarrassed and afraid to fight back.

These methods and techniques of psychological defense help you learn how to stop the emotional attacks of opponents, so as not to be a hostage to your own psychological weakness and instability against aggressive and hostile people.

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10. Aggression as a kind of psychological defense of the individual.

Aggression is behavior aimed at intentionally causing harm to oneself and (or) other people.

Aggression is a physical or verbal attack on an opponent.

It reduces internal tension, but often exacerbates the situation. It is known that aggression sooner or later necessarily returns to the person who manifested it through other people, often remaining unrecognized.

A constructive approach to using this state is in a more active pursuit of success. As, for example, it happens in football, when the outright rudeness of an opponent, the energy felt inside as indignation, gives strength for lightning-fast advancement and an accurate shot at the goal. An experienced person in energy work, who has noticed his aggressive state, can use his energy at his own discretion, for example, transform it into love and give it to people (see the Atisha technique).

At the moment of frustration, the aggressive impulse is directed, in general, to the source of this frustration. This impulse increases with an increase in frustration or a tightening of the barrier. However, not all people react aggressively: this requires a primary tendency to destruction or some infantilism of the psyche.

The main types of aggression:

Direct aggression - usually directed at others. It can manifest itself in behavior (attack, fight, physical impact, murder) or in verbal form (abuse, degrading jokes or statements, sarcasm, rude remarks). It is possible to turn aggression on oneself (auto-aggression): self-accusations, deep feelings of guilt, suicide, exhaustion of oneself by hunger, "mortification of the flesh." This form of defense is based on the increased importance of social standards (or the perception of them as too rigid), on the perception of barriers as completely impenetrable or the situation as absolutely hopeless.

Indirect (displaced) aggression - is not directed directly at an unwanted or unpleasant object (person), but at an accessible object. This accessible object may or may not be related to the source of frustration (or barriers). So, a person can simply "pour out" a bad mood on the first person that comes across. Aggression can be manifested in relation to those who cannot answer, to the defenseless, persecuted; it can be a weak person, a submissive wife or national minorities.

Displacement is a protective mechanism that directs a negative emotional reaction not to a traumatic situation, but to an object that has nothing to do with it. This mechanism creates, as it were, a "vicious circle" of mutual influence of people on each other.

For example, people who are targeted by the displacement mechanism are popularly called "scapegoats". Usually these are people who are weaker, obliged or dependent on a person who is in psychological protection.

The displacement mechanism is reflected in one of Bitsrup's paintings - the boss came to the office in a bad mood and, as a result, "broke" him, scolding the deputy, the deputy - the clerk, the clerk - the messenger, the messenger, leaving the office, kicked the dog, the dog bit the time from the boss's office.

This form of psychological defense is widely spread in various types of relationships, and its prevention may consist in the development and formation of skills to find compromises in conflict, maintain consensus, or calmly refuse relationships with someone if they are already outdated. In modern psychology and conflictology, various systems of prevention, prophylaxis and resolution of interpersonal conflicts have been developed, with the help of which a person can neutralize, or even completely abandon such a protective mechanism as displacement.

passive aggression. In this case, the subject unites himself with the external aggressor and "assumes" his role. An example of this type of aggression is treason, betrayal, or "indulgence" in the cruelties of another.

<<<10Будасси С.А. Защитные механизмы личности. М., 1998

Psychological security is a property of a mature personality, which depends on intelligence, attentiveness, a penchant for analysis, critical thinking and emotional stability. We offer you some proven methods of psychological protection in practice.

If you get stung by one or even several bees, it can be good for your health. But if you are attacked by a swarm of wasps or you find yourself a victim of a bite of a poisonous snake, then you will not do well. Your competitors, ill-wishers or enemies are capable of inflicting no less harm on you, just by using words that hurt your soul as a psychological weapon. And the longer you worry about this, the more likely you are to be in the camp of the losers.

“If a person shows that he is irritated and unable to control his emotions, he needs to do something else, and not work with people,” the Frenchman Michel Fadoul, who has achieved brilliant success in business at the world level, confidently stated.

Psychological security is a property of a mature personality. It consists of a whole complex of such characteristics as the level of intelligence, worldview attitudes, attentiveness, a tendency to analyze and reflect, critical thinking, and emotional stability.

Ask yourself and others magical questions more often: what, where, when, how, why and why? Try to imagine the whole panorama and dynamics of the event, to see the whole picture as a whole and note the contradictions, inconsistencies and white spots, carefully consider the details. They are the necessary material for assessing the reliability of information.

We offer you several methods of psychological defense developed by us and tested in our trainings.

Reception "Fan". Analyze what you react to most painfully. What annoys you? What infuriates or discourages you? Remember the specific words, intonations, gestures of your opponents or offenders.

Close your eyes and remember again all the most offensive, biting, burning words that make you feel confused and worthless or powerful outbursts of aggression.

Now imagine that you are sitting opposite the person who inflicts these psychological blows on you. It is he who speaks cruel, hurtful words to you. And you feel like you are already starting to "wind up". Bring on the feeling of being hit. What part of your body reacts to it? What is happening: is there a heat in the whole body, or is something shrinking inside, or maybe just breathing is interrupted? What exactly is happening to you?

Use the emotional ventilation technique. Imagine that between you and the offender there is a powerful fan, which immediately takes his words to the side, their sharp arrows do not reach you.

And further. Make a figure with your right hand and cover it with the palm of your left hand. Mentally direct it to the person who is trying to throw you off balance. Remember how the same fig helped you "revenge" the offender as a child.

Open your eyes, and you will surely feel that you are now able to withstand such a psychological blow.

Reception "Aquarium". If, when dealing with people who are negatively disposed towards you, you continue to react painfully to their attacks, use this technique. Imagine that between you and your offender there is a thick glass wall of an aquarium. He says something unpleasant to you, but you only see him, but you don’t hear the words, they are absorbed by the water and only bubble with foam on the surface. That's why they don't work for you. And you, without losing self-control and peace of mind, do not succumb to provocation, do not react to offensive words. And thanks to this, you turn the situation in your favor.

Reception "Disneyland". The morbidity of a psychological blow can be mitigated, if not completely eliminated, by treating all people as if they were small children. You do not take offense at unintelligent children?

Imagine that you are alone against a whole group of people who are negative towards you. The preponderance of forces is on their side. And you have only one chance to turn the tide: imagine them as a group of children on the playground. They get angry, act up, scream, wave their arms, throw toys on the floor, trample them with their feet. In general, they try their best to piss you off. But you, as an adult, wise person, treat their antics like childish pranks and continue to maintain imperturbable calm until they run out of steam. You do not perceive their words as insults, do not react to their attacks. It's funny for you to watch all this as an adult ...

Reception "Fox and grapes". If there were cases in your past when someone managed to annoy you so that the experience of defeat is still there, use the technique of rationalization, removing negative "anchors". Remember the fable "The Fox and the Grapes": not reaching for the bunch of grapes, the fox said that she did not really want grapes - they are sour and green.

Reception "Ocean of calm". Imagine yourself as the main character of the parable: "The ocean receives the waters of many turbulent rivers, and at the same time remains motionless. The one into whom all thoughts and emotions also flow remains impassive at rest."

Reception "Theatre of the Absurd". You can use such a technique of psychological defense as bringing the situation to the point of absurdity. This is basically the same thing as making an elephant out of a fly. That is, to exaggerate out loud beyond recognition what someone is only hinting at, and thus unexpectedly knock psychological weapons out of the hands of their enemies or ill-wishers. Your goal is to make sure that any attacks of the ill-wisher no longer cause anything but laughter. This is the solution to the problem of how to protect yourself from a psychological attack.

Reception "Puppet Theatre". If you find it difficult to communicate with people who are emotionally significant to you, use this technique. Imagine that they are just caricatured characters from the TV show "Dolls". And let them say stupid things while talking to each other. And you just observe it from the outside and make your assessments. Like, this smart guy is pretending to be a superman, and the other is playing a strong personality, a professional, and he is a weakling, just bluffing. Play this show until you laugh. Your laughter is an indicator that the technique has worked.

Antonina Glushchak
press secretary and leading specialist of the Academy of Irrational Psychology
From the site

Comment on the article "Take the hit: methods of psychological defense"

Thanks for the article. Very useful. It is like a pill, but there are no side effects from it.

yesterday, on the street, a drunk passing by kicked me in the kidney and went on.

09/21/2008 11:56:22 am, lights

I parked my car in front of the store. The old woman, not noticing me, almost jumped under my wheels, although I saw her and moved very carefully. How she screamed! I turned out to be a reptile, and a murderer, and a hamlo, and I will definitely get into an accident soon.
At first I just wanted to kill her, but after thinking a little, he said to her to himself "thanks for the warnings, I'll be more careful." The tension immediately subsided, I didn’t want to kill anyone anymore.

10/12/2004 13:10:43, sergey

Total 5 messages .

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Aggression in games The psychology of the game. When I took a psychological test at the Central Health Center, we were asked to draw a non-existent animal. Or, another, the same lion showed its aggression in the process of protecting a weak character.

Take the hit: methods of psychological defense. Open your eyes, and you will surely feel that you are now able to withstand such a psychological blow. The task of parents is to teach the child the civilized expression of this aggression.

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Surely there are some ways, alternative, non-drug, to relieve this very tension!!! I'm just all exhausted, twitchy (it's very difficult to be next to such a motor that wants to hug - it knocks me down, I'm already covered in bumps and bruises ...

Referring to the game as a game, and not as a measure of his own personality, the child, at will, can use the competition as a means of self-development. First competition? How to set up and support?

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How to resist aggression? Relationships with children. Child psychology. Every child is born with a certain amount of aggressiveness. The task of parents is to teach the child the civilized expression of this aggression.

Swearing, this is certainly aggression. Violent films are almost never on TV with him (exceptions happen every six months. And we practice punishment (“sit in your room alone and think about your behavior”). But I see no way to reduce this aggression.

Here, in many topics, the topic of the psychological protection of the child from various external factors periodically pops up: from annoying adults, from stress when meeting with the unpleasant realities of life. The method of “mirror” reflection of the attacks of annoying grandmothers was very memorable ...

The protection and prevention of verbal aggression is a topical issue for those who encounter it, and since rudeness in speech and humiliation through words are unfortunately familiar to most people, knowing how to prevent verbal attack and how to defend against it is useful for everyone.

Recently, morality and morality have been heard infrequently. Double standards, tolerance and the right of every person to self-expression (true in essence) determine the ambiguous attitude of people towards aggression.

Aggressive behavior indeed cannot be assessed unambiguously., each specific case requires separate consideration. After all, even such different phenomena as self-defense and deliberate infliction of bodily harm are regarded equally as physical aggression, and it is sometimes very difficult to find a fine line between them. You can never guess whether the victim and the aggressor will turn into and vice versa.

The problem is that today it is not only possible, but also fashionable be somewhat aggressive. An aggressive individual is presented as courageous, courageous, successful, self-confident, and softness and pacifism are the lot of the weak.

But to say that aggression is the right tactic and the best model of behavior in society is unambiguously wrong and dangerous for the same society.

But while the world is arranged in such a way that there is just not enough peace in it, aggressor need to learn regulate their mental state and manage their mood, emotions and feelings, and the person suffering from aggressiondefend from the aggressor or timely terminate this kind of relationship.

Each person happened to both express verbal aggression and hear it addressed to him (read more about the forms of manifestation of verbal aggression in the article). The only difference is in what role one had to be in more often, and how developed the individual's aggressiveness is as a personality trait.

Of course, it is impossible to completely defend against verbal aggression. Even if you surround yourself with only benevolent and cultured people, there is no guarantee that a random, ill-mannered passerby on the street will not shout an insult and laugh in your face.

How to protect yourself from verbal aggression

The best defense against verbal aggression is don't answer her, do not respond! But it is certainly very difficult. Offensive words cannot but hurt and hurt. Therefore, you need to learn not just to silently restrain yourself, to endure, so as not to give back, while someone screams and “slings mud”, but pay no attention to it:

  • reduce the importance of what is happening so much that the words do not hurt the living;
  • to see the positive in what is happening, to be able to laugh at the situation and the offender;
  • be aware of the negative feelings that arise in response to aggression and think of them as coming, under the control of the mind;
  • sympathize with the aggressor in a human way, try to distract from the feeling of hurt dignity and think of your offender as an unfortunate person who, most likely, lacks love. Maybe he himself was recently offended, and now he just vents his anger?

Most aggressive adults in childhood were weak and vulnerable, they really wanted to, but lacked love, care, and tenderness. Cruel people grow up who have had an inferiority complex since childhood and who grew up in dysfunctional or single-parent families.

So to defend against verbal aggression will have to try:

  1. Do not respond to aggression. Just keep silent. You can only answer when the answer is thought out and there is confidence that it will be heard. The aggressor expects a reciprocal verbal attack, you should not follow his lead, you should not justify his expectations.
  2. A clear and calm "Stop!". You can say, “Wait. Stop! You're angry. I will continue to communicate with you if I hear in your words and tone a respectful attitude towards me. Such words can be accompanied by the “Stop” gesture and removal from the interlocutor.
  3. See yourself from the outside. Well, if there is a large mirror or reflective surface nearby, then you don’t need to turn on your imagination. Looking in the mirror, it is easier to control your emotions (because you can see them on your face) and look at the situation as an outside observer. The mirror can also help the aggressor (but an angry person should not be offered to look in the mirror, this can provoke him to even greater aggression). Many people in anger do not recognize their reflection in the mirror: “Is it me? I'm kind, but this one is like a beast!
  4. agree with the aggressor. This is the most unexpected reaction possible. Say: “Yes, you are right. I'm a bad person, I know it myself. You are definitely better than me." Agreement will not resolve the conflict, but it can stop the flow of insults and lies.
  5. React out of the box. This method is suitable in cases where the aggressor is used to seeing the same reaction and is waiting for it in order to continue the attack. He will be discouraged by unusual behavior.

For example, a husband insults and calls his wife names, blaming her for an imperfect figure. He is used to his wife crying when he hears criticism. If, instead of tears, the husband hears laughter, he will at least stop, and if the wife still comes up, kiss him and say: “I am glad that you are so attentive to me that you notice all my features!”, Then he will seriously think about it.

Many aggressive personalities are guided by the rules “The best defense is an attack”, “Who is strong is right”, “You need to win your place under the Sun” and others. Afraid that they will notice their weakness, fear, lack of education, any other shortcoming, wanting to look better, stronger, more solid, or simply from self-doubt, aggressive individuals destroy harmony and order in relationships, the external and internal world.

In fact, everything is exactly the opposite: aggression is weakness, and strength is in being able to recognize one’s weaknesses, see development zones, understand that the other person is no better or worse, and come into contact with him “on an equal footing”. ".

The best prevention of aggression - do not have negative feelings towards people: neither despise, nor hate, nor be angry, nor condemn, nor criticize. This negativity harms the aggressor himself more than his victim, although the victims undoubtedly suffer more from aggressive actions.

If you want to say nasty things to someone, you should not start a conversation at all and, in principle, communicate with this person! Why do it if there is an option not to do it? If it is difficult to come to terms with someone else's point of view, behavior, lifestyle, this is not a reason to insult and humiliate the opponent. Everyone has the right to think and act as they see fit.

If an impulse arises or a plan matures to offend someone with a word, it is worth wonder: “Is there really no other way to express your point of view? Is aggression really the last argument?

Putting yourself in the place of a man who you want to offend, humiliate with an evil joke or unfair criticism, you can find good feelings for him in your soul, at least pity, sympathy. From hate to love there can be only one step, and this is a step towards.

Another argument for not showing verbal aggression: getting rid of guilt is extremely difficult. But it will certainly arise in the aggressor, unless he has psychopathy (a psychopathological syndrome in which a person behaves heartlessly, deceitfully, selfishly, is not able to empathize and repent of causing harm to other people).

Yes, perhaps at first it will become easier for a normal person, because he managed to shout, speak out, cry. All the negativity is poured out on the neighbor, all obscene words were remembered, and from their pronunciation it even became more joyful to live. But later, conscience will surely wake up, and guilt will come after it.

Verbal aggression (whether words spoken to avenge an insult, or to offend yourself) never brings relief, is not a way out of a conflict and does not return peace of mind - that's what need to remember, going to attack the interlocutor verbally.

Before expressing your anger in words, you need to stop and think about the consequences, because everything in the world is interconnected - how it comes around, how it will respond.

But what if it is impossible not to experience negative feelings, and according to psychologists, it is harmful to suppress aggression?

Suppressing aggression is really harmful, so be sure to express it, but reorienting to another, safe object or action.

In the end, if you already really want to yell at a person and call him all the bad words, you can do it After the conversation with him, not during. Feelings will be expressed and relationships preserved. The main thing is not to take out anger on other, innocent people. If you can't speak out loud, you can write down words on paper.

As prevention of verbal aggression use techniques to help express and redirect negativity:

  • scream into the void;
  • sing loudly;
  • play active, noisy games where everyone screams, it is allowed to fight and so on;
  • go in for sports (various types of wrestling, team competitions are especially good);
  • engage in "aggressive" creativity: expressively spray paint on the canvas, beat, squeeze, tear clay, tear paper, and the like;
  • exercise, meditate.

Separately, it is worth mentioning on the prevention of verbal aggression in a married couple, because the problem of domestic violence is extremely relevant today. Men and women often quarrel over problems in the intimate sphere, even if the reason for the dispute is formally different. Sexual energy and the energy of aggression are similar, only the first serves the instinct of life, and the second - death. Sex is a creative force, aggression is a destructive one.

Lack of love and sexual dissatisfaction give rise to anger, irritability, bad mood, make spouses quick-tempered, impatient, which entails uttering mutual accusations and a flurry of criticism. In addition, men and women break down on children (who automatically accept such a model of behavior in the family as normal), colleagues, acquaintances and direct aggression at themselves if their need for sex is not satisfied.

On the other hand, marital quarrels and scandals often end with the couple "reconciling" in bed. Accordingly, the best prevention of verbal aggression in a married couple is satisfactory intimate relationship.

It is important to understand the difference between rare and adequate manifestations of aggression and chronic, pathological aggressiveness. If you can’t cope with your own aggressiveness or, on the contrary, the position of the “victim”, you need to seek help from a psychologist.

Offensive words, reproaches, gossip or nit-picking - each of us now and then has to deal with them in everyday life. Alas, the world is not perfect, and even the most good-natured and peace-loving person will always have an envious or ill-wisher who will try to sting, hurt or offend.

Why is this needed, you ask? Emotional attacks of enemies are always justified. Some try to piss off a person, bring confusion to his thoughts and thereby get rid of a competitor. Others simply like to feel superior to their opponent, and therefore, with petty jokes, ridicule and outright rudeness, they try to belittle others. Still others are driven by envy, hatred or resentment. Their injections are the most dangerous, because in their desire to take revenge they try to sting as painfully as possible, touch the most delicate strings of the soul, hit self-esteem, trample and humiliate.

By the way, the poisonous arrows of some offenders reach their goal, which can seriously affect our attitude and cause severe psychological trauma. Our current mental state and what we will be tomorrow depend on whether we know how to defend ourselves from negative emotions, which means that in this bloodless war we simply need reliable psychological protection.

According to psychologists, the ability to defend oneself from the negative emotions of envious people and competitors, maintain peace of mind in any unpleasant situations and not respond to offensive attacks in one's direction is a sign of a mature, emotionally and intellectually developed person. This is a guarantee of health and a sign of a successful person, and therefore everyone who is under pressure from others and takes on the psychological attacks of ill-wishers, it's time to learn about adequate methods of protection from negativity.


What you need to know about psychological protection

First of all, remember that when a person is annoyed or emotionally depressed, he is simply not able to restrain his emotions and respond correctly to criticism flying in his direction. But before you absorb this "poison" or try to respond to the negative, you should ask yourself important questions: Why is this happening? Why is this a person?

As a rule, a person goes on a psychological attack when he has no other way to prove his case, when he does not have any facts and evidence. In this case, he uses the only effective technique - he tries to piss off the enemy. However, if you have your own stable position and are able to justify your point of view, the opponent will not get the desired effect. Of course, he can begin to use prohibited methods, for example, spread rumors, turn the team against you, or arrange outright persecution. However, everything is not so hopeless here. If you are ready to repel the attacks of a weak person who is not able to play by the rules, remaining in the position of an elephant who is not afraid of any Pug, you will emerge victorious from this conflict. Thus, before entering into a skirmish and trying to respond with negativity to negativity, one should try to present the whole picture of the conflict, assess the dynamics of events, highlight all the contradictions and decide which weapon against the offender will be most effective in a particular case.

8 methods of psychological protection from negativity

1. Reception of psychological protection "Fan"

When a stream of negative energy flies in your direction, with burning, biting words and phrases, do not rush to immediately respond to the offender. Just close your eyes for a minute and analyze everything you hear. What words provoke you to anger, irritation or aggression? Imagine that the person from whom poisonous arrows are flying at you is sitting opposite, and each of his words visually inflicts biting blows. What do you feel about it? Are you empty or feeling hot in your body, winding up or trying to shrink into a small bug? Now imagine that a fan has been installed between you, the power of which you control by willpower. And as soon as phrases that sting you break out of the mouth of the offender, you mentally increase the air pressure, and the offensive words are carried away without reaching you. How have your feelings changed? Did it become easier for you, did you feel that you were able to repel any attacks of the ill-wisher? You can open your eyes. Now you will be completely sure that you are protected.


2. Reception of psychological protection "Kukish"

Remember how as a child you showed the offender the cookie, saying: "You speak to me - you translate into yourself." Now you have become old enough not to fall into childhood and not show the fig to every ill-wisher. This is, at the very least, indecent. However, this does not prevent at all from mentally imagining that you, as in your distant childhood, show a fig to your opponent, and thereby transfer negativity to him. And for greater naturalness, you can hide your hand in your pocket, and already there twist the fig, pointing it at the offender. He will continue to slander and try to offend you, not yet realizing that his words are now directed against him.

3. Reception of psychological protection "Aquarium"

When communicating with a negative person and hearing a stream of abuse from him, just imagine that you fenced yourself off from him with a thick glass of an aquarium that does not let a word through at all. You see the distorted face of the offender, but the stream of his words is absorbed by the water. Offensive words do not affect you at all, which means that you remain calm and unshakable, while your opponent becomes more and more inflamed and loses his balance. Thanks to such a simple, but very effective technique, it is sometimes possible to reverse the outcome of even a hopeless conflict. Having noticed at least once how the technique called “Aquarium” works in practice, you will always use it to deal with negativity.

4. Reception of psychological protection "Kindergarten"

You can minimize the negativity flying into you and repel the painful blows of a person who is unfriendly towards you, if you start treating him like a small child. Well, you won't be offended by small children, will you? This method is great for protecting against bullying when the whole team is against you, and each of your colleagues is trying to sting you more painfully. Just imagine that you are in a playground where a group of children are behaving just disgustingly: children are roaring and angry, acting up and stamping their feet. You imagine yourself as an adult who is condescending to the whims of small children, does not react to their antics, but only shakes his head, maintaining imperturbable calmness and waiting for the kids to throw out all their anger and calm down. And let this psychological technique be carried out mentally, if in reality you are silent, not responding to the barbs of the team, but only smiling condescendingly in response, soon the opponents will realize that they have lost, will shut up, and will no longer use this forbidden technique against you.

5. Reception of psychological protection "Fox and grapes"

It's no secret that we get the most painful blows from people close to us - relatives or those whom we considered kindred in spirit. If a similar story happened to you, and a person once close to you suddenly went over to the camp of the enemy, becoming on a par with ill-wishers to stigmatize and shame you, use the defense technique called “The Fox and the Grapes”. Remember how in Krylov's fable, the fox, who was unable to get the grapes, declared that she did not really want delicacies, the grapes, they say, were green and sour. So you should do with the offender, whom you trusted. Convince yourself that the opinion of this person is not so important to you, and his support is not so necessary. In general, tell yourself that if a person did this to you, he is not such a friend to you.

6. Reception of psychological protection "Ocean"

We have already considered situations when the negative comes not from one person, but from the whole team at once. Not everyone can cope with such pressure. You need a powerful visualization of superiority over opponents in order to find the strength to withstand this pressure with dignity and not let a single poisonous arrow penetrate your heart. Experts in such situations recommend using the "Ocean" technique. Imagine that you are an endless ocean, into which a huge number of raging rivers flow. All of them pour into the ocean in violent streams, but it remains calm and motionless. It seems that he does not even notice their aggressive pressure. So you, listening to the streams of abuse coming from the offenders, remain impassive and absolutely calm.

7. Reception of psychological defense "Absurd situation"

This psychological technique is to, without waiting for open aggression and ridicule from their offenders, “make an elephant out of a fly”, that is, exaggerating, bringing any situation to the point of absurdity. Only when you feel ridicule from the aggressor, begin to exaggerate the situation so that all the words that follow cause only laughter and are not taken seriously. By doing this, you simply disarm your opponent, and soon everyone will start laughing at him.

8. Reception of psychological defense "Dolls"

Do you remember the famous TV show by V. Shenderovich "Dolls", where the author ironically ridiculed politicians, using caricatured puppet characters that outwardly resemble politicians? With people who are trying to offend you or openly mock you, you can only communicate through the prism of the psychological technique of "Doll". Keep an eye on your offenders. This one pretends to be a specialist, although in fact he has superficial knowledge, and the other tries to pose as a humorist and joker, although he looks for jokes on the Internet every day. Just laugh at the abilities of your offenders and their imaginary superiority over you will immediately dissipate. By the way, if you laugh at the aggressor as a comical character, this is a sign that the defense is working. Health to you and psychological stability!