Children's books      01/14/2021

I blush all the time when talking. How to disarm someone who draws everyone's attention to the fact that you suddenly blushed. It gets easier with age

"Why are you blushing?" I have heard this question more than once. And every time he made me embarrassed and blush even more. Over time, I began to be afraid in advance that a blush would cover my face. That was the beginning of my fight against redness.

What made me blush?

Public speaking, whiteboard challenges, questions being asked of me, stares, sensitive topics, and more instantly made me blush.

It would seem that everything is in order with my appearance, it’s not a problem for me to answer any question, the people around me treat me very well, I don’t even know how to lie, but I blush like a bashful schoolgirl caught in something bad. Then I was very envious of people about whom they say "lies and does not blush."

Gradually, awkwardness began to turn into a kind of phobia. For example, when at work the boss invited me to talk to her office on the phone, I began to blush, still holding the telephone receiver. And having felt this, for a long time I thought only about how I look, and what others will think about it.

Then I began to wonder if it was possible to learn not to blush. It turns out that light skin and vessels close to it contribute to the creation of such a shade on the face. That is why in some people the blush is almost invisible, while in others its color is close to burgundy. Only here the reasons for color changes in most cases are psychological.


Ways to deal with redness

For convenience, I divided them into several points, but in my practice they all overlapped with each other. So, to get rid of the appearance of scarlet cheeks, I did the following.

1. put myself in my place their interlocutors, because of which, in fact, there were changes on my face. And I came to the conclusion that they were not at all up to my reaction. Even when they asked me why I blushed like a tomato, this topic quickly ceased to interest them. I myself often saw blushing people, but now I can’t remember when it was, and who exactly blushed.

2. Found in the blush pluses. Firstly, rosy cheeks give the face a certain shade of health. Secondly, you do not have to spend money on buying powder. And finally, thirdly, the blush gives the face a rather cute embarrassed look, which I personally like to see on the faces of other people.

3. I learned to deal with situations like this with humor.. I remember how, before defending my thesis, I rehearsed my speech at home. She planted five soft toys on the bed in front of her - imaginary members of the commission, named each after a real teacher and got down to business.

On real defense, my mentors involuntarily associated with a bear, a rabbit, a camel, a dog and a mouse. Everything went easily, I didn’t even once during my report remember that I could blush.

4. Developed my confidence. The better I looked, the more confident I spoke, the less I “sorted out” the situation, the less embarrassed I was, and, consequently, blushed.

5. Switched to another. When I began to feel that a hot wave was approaching my cheeks, I immediately forced myself to think about something else: good weather; about what an interesting hairstyle a passerby has, how I will spend the evening, etc. It distracted me and helped prevent embarrassment.

I confess that I never learned not to blush at all, but now I can take it calmly and even find my pluses in a blush. In general, the work done on myself was not superfluous.

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Sometimes we only need one look or an unexpected question to blush. We can blush even when there are no objective reasons for this! People who are prone to a sudden blush are often complex and try to hide their face - after all, redness is sometimes accompanied by the appearance of large red spots on the neck and chest, confused speech, sweating and absent-mindedness.

A strong blush is the result of internal stress. Teenagers blush more often than adults, as their nervous system is in the formative stage and therefore especially vulnerable. In some cases, the tendency to blush remains with a person for life. Only long-term work on yourself and the ability to control your emotions will help to cope with the problem of a strong blush.

Why are we blushing?

Blush on the cheeks is a completely natural process that is regulated by our nervous system. The mechanism of this phenomenon is simple: when excited, the blood vessels expand, including the network of small vessels on the face. Thus, we blush only as a result of stress. Particularly impressionable people, in addition to a purple face, may suffer from confusion, trembling and dry mouth.

Severe stress blushing may be accompanied by confusion

These are normal manifestations of inner experience, so do not be afraid of symptoms. Of course, not all people blush equally easily, because the sensitivity of receptors and the proximity of blood vessels to the surface of the skin is different for everyone. In addition, with age, the vascular reaction slows down significantly, so people after forty blush less often and not so noticeably.

The causes of frequent reddening of the face may be some diseases - for example, rosacea. This disease is characterized by a violation of blood circulation and the general tone of small vessels. If your skin turns red not only from excitement, but also from frost, wind, sun, then the nature of the purple face lies not in psychosomatic processes, but in local vascular disease.

How to stop blushing?

It is useless to explain to a person who blushes easily that there is nothing shameful in this feature. Even examples from the past do not help - for example, information that in the 19th century purple cheeks were considered a sign of wealth. In order for a person to accept his own reflection in the mirror, he needs to study several effective methodologies- with their help, you can forever forget about the problem of flaming cheeks.

Increase self-esteem

As a rule, excitement and redness of the face are the cause of self-doubt. Remember what happens when you blush. First of all, you worry about what others think of you. Now remember how they treat a self-confident person who walks with his head held high. That's right, others respect strong people and subconsciously strive to be like them.

Analyze your strengths. You probably have a lot of them. Can a sudden blush on your face instantly make you a bad and weak person? Of course not! So just focus solely on your strengths. Over time, the chain of factors leading to the appearance of a blush will be interrupted - which means that self-doubt will go away.

social experiment

Psychologists advise to conduct an experiment and look at yourself from the outside. Gather friends, relatives and acquaintances in one room. Chat on the most different topics, then stand in the center of the room and say something short speech. You should be in the center of everyone's attention and as close as possible to the circumstances in which you usually blush.

Don't panic - others may not even notice your blush!

Later, ask all the invitees how many times they observed you blushed today. To your great surprise, you will find that the interlocutors do not remember whether you blushed at all. This once again proves the subjectivity of your perception: you feel hot and therefore think that everyone has already noticed your crimson face. In fact, people do not focus on your face, but only listen to you.

Autotraining

Training your own body will help to abstract from the problem of facial redness. For training, retire, sit in a comfortable chair and order yourself to blush. Literally make your face turn crimson. Happened? No. The reason is simple: the redness of the face is not subject to your desire. You blush, whether you like it or not.

Every day arrange yourself a similar auto-training, which every time will end in failure. Within a few weeks, you will be able to use this technique in society. As soon as you feel that you are in a situation that will make you blush, mentally command yourself to blush deeply. In the same way as during auto-training, you will not succeed.

A few more methods

  • Switching attention. If you're in embarrassing circumstances but don't want to blush, try distracting yourself. For example, start pinching your hand discreetly. If the blush appears while talking to another person, try to abruptly switch to another topic of conversation. With this technique, you mislead your brain, it begins to work harder, and the blood gradually moves away from the face to the brain cells.
  • abstraction method. As a rule, we tend to blush only in the presence of other people - especially if it is a large audience. On the eve of a public speech, give your speech alone. You will notice that your face does not burn, and there is no excitement. In public, turn on your imagination and try to completely abstract. Imagine that you are rehearsing a performance alone; your brain will accept it as the truth, and you won't have to blush.
  • Self-irony. If the methods presented above have not shown results, try to radically change your attitude to the problem. Having voiced your complex, you get rid of it. If you blush, make a joke about it - for example, admit that you are always blushing because you are too sincere person. Girls can joke that their face is blood and milk. When you change your attitude to the redness of your face, then others will stop paying attention to your peculiarity - but they will begin to respect you for your self-irony and frankness.

Learn to negotiate with yourself, be self-confident and do not be afraid of anything. The attitude of others directly depends on your perception of your own personality. How you present yourself is how you will be treated. It doesn't matter if you blush or not.

There are people for whom every awkward moment is dangerous - whether it's going to the board, speaking at a meeting, or meeting with an old friend.

They immediately fill with paint, turning into a pretty "tomato". Shyness, embarrassment, shyness - how to overcome them and stop blushing for any reason?

Why do some people blush

The main reason for sudden redness on the face is excitement. A person is nervous, stressed, worried - and his body also reacts.

The problem cannot be called exclusively psychological or only physiological. It is rather their synthesis, when psychological discomfort is expressed in physiology.

The frequency and degree of manifestation of this feature (we intentionally will not call it an ailment or illness) varies among people:

1) Someone “throws into a fever” only when very excited - for example, when you need to make a speech in front of a lot of guests.

At this moment, thoughts are confused, the text is forgotten and the body temperature rises (or the person, on the contrary, becomes numb and trembling). So reddening of the skin is not the only manifestation of panic before public speaking.

2) Others blush constantly, even from such a trifle as the gaze of a stranger or an ordinary conversation with a colleague.

And if a couple of centuries ago it was even considered cute that a girl blushed with embarrassment, today it looks ridiculous. And such a "red girl" is truly not easy to live, especially during working hours.

The reason for blushing can be not only embarrassment, but also a sense of shame or guilt, an attempt to lie, an awkward situation, as well as any other compromising factor.

It turns out that such a person will not be able to lie (even for good), or hide his guilt, or disguise his love interest: his purple cheeks will betray him with his head.

The problem is most acute in adolescence. Teenagers blush more often, control their emotions worse, are more shy and complex, and are not yet stable physiologically.

The main thing is not to get hung up on this: most often, by the beginning of adulthood, this feature goes away on its own.

What to do when the problem is "obvious"

Those who blush even when talking are very embarrassed about their peculiarity. Often the complex leads them to a dead end: people begin to isolate themselves from society, prefer loneliness, lead a reclusive life.

Psychologists offer several ways to get rid of the problem. Here are techniques and tips that you should definitely try for those who want to stop blushing:

1. Auto-training, relaxation and meditation. Psychological tricks relaxation and persuasion will help those who are ready to work on themselves. The goal is to keep emotions under control, not to let them spill out into outer space society.

Feelings are almost always at the root of this widespread affliction. Therefore, it is important to train emotional stability.

2. Understand the "root of evil". The problem can be purely physiological, scientifically it is called rosacea. Due to the lethargy of the vessels and poor circulation, a blush flares up on the cheeks.

It’s easy to understand that it’s all about physiology: you blush terribly not only from embarrassment, but also from frost, strong wind, heat, closeness and other external factors.

Circulatory problems need to be treated - it is worth contacting a dermatologist, neurologist or general practitioner for advice. If you start the situation, ugly “stars” from burst capillaries may appear on your face.

Cosmetology also deals with the tone of blood vessels located close to the skin. Perhaps a few procedures, a non-strict diet and a vitamin complex will easily solve the problem of a lifetime.

3. Contact a psychologist. The root cause of emotional redness is the body's reaction to stress.

With due perseverance, any person can defeat his modesty, isolation, insecurity, shyness, increase self-esteem and stop blushing because of any nonsense.

A psychologist will help determine the quality of characterthat makes you suffer. Perhaps the reason is in childhood memories, in a trauma received in school years.

Maybe you are afraid that you will be laughed at, made fun of or mocked, and the body sets up a protective barrier in advance - as best it can. Or you doubt all the time, you cannot make a choice, you are afraid to make a mistake.

In any case, a hidden “emotional negativity” lives inside you, which comes out precisely in the form of redness on the skin.

4. "Wedge with a wedge": learn to overcome embarrassment by talking to others big amount of people. Get yourself a hobby, visit a sports or creative section, start learning a language, go on a trip.

Relaxed, informal communication in a circle of like-minded people - with those who definitely do not want to offend or offend you - will have a beneficial effect.

Step over yourself: try to be the first to start short conversations on the street, in supermarkets, in line. After all, when the conversation is planned and you are ready for it, is it not so scary anymore?

In a word, go beyond your comfort zone and upgrade your communication skills.

5. Until you manage to completely get rid of redness, try to memorize an important truth: there is nothing terrible, offensive, catastrophic or shameful. This is not a pathology.

Some sweat when excited, others begin to have a nervous tic, others become whiter than snow, others tremble. Well, you just blush for no reason.

The main problem is not in the redness of the face itself, but in the fact that others notice it. If one of your colleagues says that you are “like a tomato” again, learn to take a hit.

explain important people that this is just a feature of physiology, which reveals your indifference to the issue raised. Being indifferent is not so bad!

Very often, in stressful situations, people begin to blush. Some develop a slight blush on their faces, but others turn purple. Therefore, the question often arises: “Why does a person blush”? Redness of the skin of the face can be associated with a variety of processes in the body or with situations that occur independently of you. Having studied all the possible facts available, you can identify the causes of this process and answer the question of how to stop blushing.

Causes of redness

Why is the person blushing? Facial redness is a natural reaction. In this way, the body reacts with excitement or stress. Most often this happens in young people and girls during adolescence. The reddening of the skin can be explained by the regulation of small blood vessels and capillaries, which expand, increasing the volume of blood passing through them. This happens when a person is worried.

At the same time, cheeks, ears, neck, forehead can become very red. In rare cases, redness appears not only on the skin, but also on the eyes, and sometimes unevenly. The causes of redness lie in the depths of consciousness and depend on the social adaptability of a person. If to speak in simple words, then a blush on the face is a sign that a person is afraid of society, those around him.

Getting rid of redness

How to stop blushing? First you need to determine what type of problem: psychological or physical. Then you should definitely visit qualified specialists who can prescribe an anti-redness treatment.

If the reason is psychological, and there is no desire to go to a psychologist, wasting your time and money, then there are special techniques for training and getting rid of constant blushing in public.

Method one: unmasking

Why does a person blush? First of all, a person begins to blush because he wants to hide the upcoming redness. One of the most effective methods- unmasking method. Its essence lies in the fact that a person, feeling the beginning of redness, is the first to pay attention to it, which leads to a stunning effect - the redness subsides very quickly.

The ruddy, red face of a person speaks of the natural expression of true feelings. That is, if he says something, but in his soul the attitude towards the object of attention is the opposite, then redness begins to appear. Paying attention to your problem of blushing first is scary only in your thoughts, since those around you will not even give any hint of what they noticed, because they themselves have their own problems in their heads and hardly any of them are eager to take over also the other person's problems.

Method two: composure

The essence of the method lies in self-control and composure in relation to the redness of the face. As you know, a person takes responsibility for what his subconscious generates. Just like the subconscious mind, the conscious mind is responsible for some of the things that happen to people, such as hiccups, blinking, or speaking in a rude manner.

But how to learn not to blush? It's easy, you just have to separate the subconscious and conscious processes in your head. Because a person can control, or at least try to control hiccups, blinking and rough speech, for which consciousness is responsible. But it is impossible to control the subconscious, so once and for all it is worth saying that a person cannot order his subconscious to stop creating redness.

Method Three: Controlling Blood Flows

Yes, blood flow control may sound too unrealistic, but once you try it, such an opinion will disappear. For example, you can imagine a large fire near frozen hands that can warm them. Having presented such a picture, the brain will send an impulse and blood will begin to flow into the hands, thereby warming them.

In order to get rid of redness of the face, you should at the right time imagine a fire near your hands. Thanks to this, the blood will flow to the hands, and the face will take on a normal appearance and get rid of redness. This method is very popular in a problematic issue, how not to blush when talking with an interlocutor.

Method Four: Calm

This method is based on the phenomenon of self-hypnosis. If before an important speech, report and other activities in front of the public, while preparing, a person experiences excitement, then he unconsciously sends a signal to the brain that during the speech the speaker should have the same state of excitement as during preparation. Based on this, to solve the problem of blushing, you just need to imagine the performance calm and confident during the preparation. In this case, the brain will send an impulse that is responsible for the lack of excitement.

Method Five: Back to the Past

The essence of the method lies in the fact that a person remembers the past times when he blushed. Then he watches it from the side. Now it is important to realize the possibility of changing memories. Remember those events again, but remove the redness and excitement from them, and that everything ended perfectly. Thanks to this exercise, a signal is sent to the brain that there was no history of excitement. Only consciousness will “remember” this. The subconscious will be convinced otherwise.

Method Six: Focusing on the Subject

Having mastered this method, you can forget about the excitement and the symptoms that it entails. This method is suitable for those who are afraid to speak to the general public in a large hall. The speaker draws attention to the numerous looks and faces, which confuses and makes his face blush.

To avoid this, it is enough to imagine that the auditorium is empty, only the speaker is standing on the stage. Also, another little trick can be that the person standing in front of the audience focuses on any one object or place in space. Using this method, you can become a professional in your field.

Exaggeration of blushing

A blushing person experiences only two problems: the appearance of a ruddy complexion and the reaction of others to it. As numerous studies say, the second problem is the most serious, because the crimson confuses a person, and he tries to hide it or even get away from his interlocutors. This entails problems with society, because the situation calls into question communication with peers. In this case, social phobia develops.

Such behavior is wrong, since in any case the attitude of others to the raised issue is unknown, maybe they don’t care or they like it. A good solution to this problem is to ask your social circle how they feel about blushing when talking. The answers will differ from those expected. Indeed, in ninety-nine percent of cases, blushing only decorates the appearance, makes it more cute.

Physiological problems

If the problem with redness is not related to psychology, then it means that it is physiology. There is a well-known disease rosacea. It is a vascular pathology that appears due to poor blood circulation. Thus, the face can turn red not only with excitement and embarrassment, but also from temperature changes, heat, frost and other factors, and sometimes no reason is needed for this.

By itself, the pathology is not dangerous. Dangerous consequences of neglect. If you do not pay attention to it, then the vessels will burst, forming vascular asterisks, very noticeable and difficult to mask. In addition to rosacea, there are other physiological pathologies with which you should definitely contact a qualified doctor for action.

Solving physiological problems

The main solution to physiological pathologies is a visit to a doctor or cosmetologist. They can influence the problem in a positive way by changing your diet, lifestyle, daily routine, and also by applying medicinal methods of treatment. Like any pigmented rashes, the appearance of pathologies is associated primarily with the absence proper nutrition. It is urgent to remove all harmful products from the diet, it is imperative to exclude the use of alcohol and tobacco products.

Top tips that can help with redness:

  1. First, you need to drink a large number of pure water (not liquid, namely water).
  2. Secondly, when the formation of a blush has begun, you can drink some ice water, this will help stop the redness for a while.
  3. Thirdly, breathing should be deep.
  4. Fourth, pretend that you got a mote in your eye, or you choked.
  5. Fifth, take the redness of the face as an advantage, a highlight.
  6. Sixth, ventilate the room or turn on the air conditioner to reduce the temperature, because the vessels expand greatly in the heat, causing redness.
  7. Seventh, cough when the feeling of redness comes on.
  8. Eighth, make it a habit to get embarrassed or excited that makes you blush.
  9. Ninth, start commenting on your purplish complexion.
  10. Tenth, start smiling broadly to divert attention from blushing.
  11. Eleventh, the use of masking cosmetics will be an excellent solution to the current problem.
  12. Twelfth, work out the technique of eliminating the red complexion in front of the mirror to automatism.

Finally, be yourself and don't be shy.

SOME WARNINGS

Firstly, you can not hide a constantly reddish face, this can only aggravate. Secondly, in any situation, one must remain calm and not think about the problem, because if you constantly think about it, then it will appear. Thirdly, redness may be due to teenage hormonal levels, which normalize as they grow older.