In this article we will talk about destructive recurring events in our lives, that is, about unwanted events that repeat more than once, and about what hinders and dislikes us, but still overtakes us. For example, someone is fired from their job for the third time, someone gets divorced for the fourth time, and someone just misses the train all the time.
What is the reason for such misadventures?
When such repetitive events occur in our lives, we often tend to blame them on the current situation, bad bosses, and other people around us. Seeing the cause of repeated “bad” events for us in others is always our choice, and each of us has the right to do so. But if you go the other way, shift the focus of attention to yourself and look for the internal reasons for what happened - this will provide you with huge previously unclaimed opportunities for your own development and harmonization of your life.
As in school, we all go through life lessons. But if at school we can go to the next class with deuces without mastering any topic, then in life, until we learn how to solve a certain kind of situation, we will meet with them. As if we were sitting in the same class until we fully mastered all the material, regardless of how many years it takes, and maybe even a lifetime. Unfortunately, if the curriculum is unified at school, the ways to solve problems are obvious, then the life of each of us is unique, everyone solves his own problems, and the ways to solve them, as a rule, do not lie on the surface.
If there are such negative repetitive events in your life, and you see their cause in other people and circumstances, this is The best way avoid any changes in your life and continue to step on your favorite rake.
On the other hand, if for you the repeated events in our lives are an occasion to turn inward and find the internal cause that creates a vicious circle, this will give you the opportunity to break it and get other, more appropriate results in your own life.
Recurring negative events are always information about us and for us, because they are based on our view of the world, belief, approach to life, which, on the one hand, is the cause of negative events, and on the other hand, is confirmed by them.
Here are some examples:
A lonely girl really wants to build a close relationship, but she can't - young people leave her. Her perception of the world was influenced by a very great fear that she would be abandoned. It was this fear that caused the failed relationship, and also after each breakup received its confirmation.
A man on whom, both in the family and at work, everyone around shifts the solution of their problems, and at work - the fulfillment of professional duties. He had a deep conviction that you can earn the love and acceptance of other people only by being "good" for them, that is, by fulfilling all their requests.
A woman entrepreneur has many projects, but she does not complete any of them, as a result of which they are not implemented. She was characterized by a great fear of failure, which did not allow her to realize her plans, in her picture of the world it was safer not to start a business than to start and fail.
There is an exit!
If we want to get out of the vicious circle, we need to replace the destructive way of seeing the world with a harmonious, supportive worldview.
It’s good if a professional psychologist helps with this, in this case his professional knowledge and experience and the position of an outside observer will help you.
You can stop the series of troubles by changing the inner world yourself, because after all, this is your path and the challenge of the world is for you, and a psychologist can only help you learn your own lessons, but cannot go through them for you.
Treat such destructive events with gratitude, because they contain great potential for inner growth. Form the intention to understand what such events tell you, ask yourself what you can learn from them, what you can change in yourself. If you are open and willing to go beyond your usual worldview, you will begin to receive answers to your questions in a variety of ways - perhaps in the form of insights and ideas, or in the form of a magazine article read by chance, a book suddenly suggested by a friend, accidentally overheard conversation. Remember that a well-posed question is half the answer and forms a channel through which information that is meaningful to you will flow.
If instead of destructive, limiting beliefs and outlooks on life, you develop supportive ones, then the events of your life will change, and you will be able to get out of the vicious circle.
Perhaps the materials of our site will help you cope with similar situations in life and make it more harmonious and happy.
Hello friends! Have you ever wondered why situations of one kind or another repeat themselves in life?
Here's what I was thinking. And more than once. Because in fact, recurring situations in life happen very often. And so I decided to figure out what was what and why, and at the same time decide what to do if the situation in life repeats itself.
Are you with me?
And I'll start right away with an example from the life of my girlfriend. You will not believe it, but almost every time she is in a bar or at a disco (in general, in places of an amusing and intoxicating nature), someone will definitely treat her to a cocktail.
Is it luck? Coincidence?
No. This repetition of the situation in my friend's life is due to the fact that the friend herself likes such a repetition! And so, after one or two successful episodes, she noticed why she was so lucky, and now she skillfully uses it. She will take a tempting pose on a chair, shoot with her eyes, smile as if inadvertently - and now, another “lucky catcher” hurries to her and treats
Conclusion 1: If the situation in life repeats, it is because we like it and we direct our efforts to make these repetitions happen.
Tip: Keep going
Let's move on to another example. This time on my own skin worked out.
Almost every time I'm going to get up early in the morning, I make sure to sleep longer. Well, I can’t get up and that’s it! And this situation happens all the time.
Figured out the reason. Not by myself, they suggested. In general, it turns out that we have life cycles, cycles of ups and downs in activity. And I did not adapt to these cycles. And I tried to persuade myself to wake up and get up exactly at the moment when my body had a “planned” rest period.
Or, for example, we can always be late for the same bus. So, buses also have their own cycles, and they are called SCHEDULE!
Conclusion 2: Some recurring situations in life are related to the fact that life is cyclical.
Tip: You need to skillfully adjust to these cycles and live without straining from such repetitions.
I will describe another repetition of the situation in life. Also from personal experience.
When I had a really serious relationship with a guy, after the end of this relationship, every time I worried that I had made a mistake by breaking it off (yes, for some reason, I always left first. Eh, it’s difficult with me ...). This was repeated several times.
Those. it turned out like this: relations - a break from my initiative -.
And it's the same every time!
This situation repeated itself with me until one day I understood my psychology and waited for the guy himself. And you know, it turned out to be much easier! The most amazing.
And yet, from the time of school, an example:
At school, when I went down the stairs, I constantly twisted my leg on the same step. Even the nurse laughed at me at the constancy with which I turned to her to make a tight bandage.
Once it finally dawned on me that I should try to go down this staircase more calmly and more attentively. Imagine, after that it became easier for the leg to live
I immediately remembered another example, about wandering through the forest. When a person walks in circles and ends up in the same place. And it would be worthwhile to analyze why this is so, to draw a conclusion, to realize your mistake and act differently, for example, not to hope for your feet, but to orient yourself in order to get out of the forest.
Conclusion 3: We face repeated situations in life when we make the same mistake. And life, as if on purpose, again and again puts the same thing to us. And so on until we realize this mistake and correct it.
Tip: If the situation in life repeats, analyze your actions, understand where you are making a mistake and correct it.
Here are some examples for you real life, such conclusions about why situations are repeated in life, when it is necessary to deal with it, and when not, and how to deal with it.
But, I found a vidyushka, also about different repetitions. I like it. A lot of good things were noticed, but I was especially impressed by the moment at 5:50 minutes. Well true!!! It's right about me!
But I’m wondering if you can remember any “pattern” from your life? Tell me about recurring situations in your life. Well oooooooo interesting!
To keep abreast of all new events on the Striped Life blog, subscribe! I am always glad to see you!!
And to please me, run through the buttons of social networks
The most unhappy people are most afraid of change. Minion McLaughlin.
It has been repeatedly said that mistakes are a sign that a person is not inactive and mistakes are a necessary part of experience, steps to success. But there are mistakes that are made regularly, we get up on the same rake many times and, as a result, a painfully familiar life story is repeatedly repeated. Such a peculiar refrain, a verse in the song of life. At the same time, you often realize that you are doing wrong and, realizing this, do as before. Or commit typical mistake without realizing it, feeling only unreasonable, inexplicable inner anxiety and anxiety, expecting the next crisis and not even trying to prevent it. And to blame fate, the state, other people, an unhappy childhood, oneself ...
Another common case of mistakes in our lives. Let's imagine a familiar picture: an inspiring book on self-development, about how to change life for the better, fell into someone's hands, and he caught fire with its content, recognized its correctness, but ... continues to behave as before, postponed the implementation of a smart idea “until Monday” or completely forgot. It turns out that he did not receive any benefit from new or previously known information, effective, if used. What is it, a sign of laziness, lack of self-organization, passivity or something else?...
So is there a way out? Why do we tend to repeat mistakes? When will life really change for the better?
Or another case. Let's say someone read, heard, got acquainted with an interesting idea of \u200b\u200bhow to succeed or become rich, beautiful, loved, famous, etc., in a word, happier, but considered that this was either pure “ scam”, or to it does not suit him personally, in his case it will not work. Is it wrong to think so?
Mistakes are anything that makes us feel bad on a conscious or unconscious level. That which prevents you from knowing the taste of life in all its diversity, moving along your own individual path of life, in accordance with your inner rhythm. Truly happy people contribute to the happiness of others, or at least do not get in the way of someone else's happiness. What is within us is what we radiate outward, into the world. It is logical that sugar will spill out of a box of refined sugar, and gasoline will spill out of a canister of gasoline, and not vice versa.
Parable "Why tie a cat."
Every time the guru and his disciples were about to pray, a cat would enter the ashram and disturb them by noisily playing with the rosary. The Guru suggested that the disciples tie the cat during prayer. After the death of the guru, the cat continued to be tied. After the death of the cat, another cat was brought into the ashram to carefully follow the instructions of the guru about prayer. Centuries have passed. The learned followers of the gurus wrote scientific works, which indicated that tying a cat during prayer was of particular importance.
Let's return to the actions that are committed with enviable constancy and with all our desire to do something differently, there will always be a similar rake nearby. It is necessary to learn to accept your own choice, even unconscious. This “rake” is needed to make sure that such an experience and the beliefs that preceded it are unreasonable. The more identical rakes, the stronger a certain belief was once learned, which now leads to these unfortunate rakes. Those. very strong evidence is needed of how important it is to abandon old views and choose a different type of behavior.
After all any changes, even changes for the better, are always accompanied by shortcomings and inconveniences, as Arnold Bennet said.
And not always such confirmation can be an inspiring book or a film demonstrating other options, other styles of thinking and activity. It is necessary to come to a revision of values and attitudes through personal experience, internal rethinking, otherwise no outside beliefs will help.
Joke. How many psychologists(substitute here at your discretion - advice from friends, relatives, books for self-development, educational films, etc.) needed to change a light bulb? “One is enough if the bulb is ready to be changed.
Your personal exhortations to yourself, self-criticism and self-motivation may turn out to be ineffective until you are not only in your mind, but also in your heart, inwardly, i.e. subconsciously you will not feel, will not accept the fact that there is no point in living like this, it is impossible, there is not the slightest desire, there is no need that such a tactic of behavior has really become obsolete. And then you will not have to convince yourself, force, persuade yourself, you just take it and do it, you will not be able not to do (!) Something that will change your life for the better.
Many people who have achieved large-scale success have gone through a global crisis, transformation before him. inner peace rethink their beliefs and values. There are enough of them among them who faced real death or a real threat to their lives or people close to them. This is a very convincing motive, a thousand times more effective than any book or movie.
But fortunately, it is not necessary to go to extremes, it is enough to realize once and for all the reasons for your actions and the behavior of other people. Real understanding, awareness frees you from self-criticism or feelings of dissatisfaction with yourself and others, it makes it possible to believe in the necessity and truth from the point of view of your personal experience and the current situation of your entire life activity. Any behavior, no matter how useless or harmful it seems, is the only possible one at every moment of life.
Trust what is happening, trust yourself, even if it seems to you that you are wrong or others tell you about it - you are always right in your own way. Listen to your inner voice, rely on the undercurrent, and sooner or later it will take you to the shore of your dreams.
And now two small projective tests “Your way of life” and “The master of your destiny”. These picture tests will lift the veil of the future and answer the question of what your life path, if you stick to the current lifestyle.
Test number 1. “Your way of life” (picture on the left). Instruction. You see in front of you an image of the surface of a certain continent. Pay attention to rivers, islands, forests. There is also a swamp, and even hills. Your task is to pave the way through the entire mainland, this is the first thing. And secondly, you will need to give a name to all rivers, forests, islets, capes and bays. Give the map a finished look.
Rating 5.00 (1 Vote)
Have you ever thought about why certain things happen to you? And some more than once! Why Are we in a cycle of recurring events? Does it depend on us or is it fate?
You got a job new job that she dreamed about. Full of enthusiasm and ideas. It seems to you that you have finally found your place for a long, long time, but... At some point, you want to drop everything and leave. What are you doing. Time passes, you find a new job. Everything is going great, you think: “Well, this is definitely mine. This is exactly what I dreamed of." Life is filled with meaning. You are happy to fly to work in the morning, ready to move mountains ... and after a while you leave again. And this situation is repeated not once or twice. You understand that you are going in circles.
Or in relationships with men. You meet only one type of men. Although you can not say that this is your type of man. And you see that this man is basically the same as the previous one, but you are building a relationship with him again. And then you reproach yourself for "stepping on the same rake."
Familiar situations? Yes, and I took them out of my head. The first cyclically happens to my friend, and the second - to me.
And how many stories about women who marry alcoholics several times? Or people who are always in debt: and only after paying the last debt, they again get into an even greater one. Or girls who are always betrayed by guys. Yes, there are many such stories.
What if you look at your life? Surely, if you think about it, you are also haunted by certain situations and problems that repeat from year to year, from relationship to relationship.
Have you ever wondered if there is a connection in these repetitions?
I - no, until once again I stepped on my rake. That's when this question hit me. Why is everything happening this way? Why can't I get off this track? With this question, I climbed into the Internet. There I found a lot of information on this issue and a lot of explanations for such events. So…
Why is this happening?
Fate
Of course, everything can be explained by such a common explanation. Like, this is my fate. This is how I will run in circles for the rest of my life. There is nothing I can change here. We need to reconcile ourselves and continue to "carry our cross."
Fate? Maybe. No one argues, but why did you get such a fate? Here is the question.
This is how the circumstances
And immediately the question is: Why do they develop in this way and exactly with you? Yes, and with such an enviable constancy. Of course, many things can be explained this way. But just think about how many events (circumstances) must take place in a certain way so that, for example, you find yourself in a certain place at a certain time. And such circumstances should develop at least not with you alone!
But here again the question is: what brought you to this place?
Your choice
"How can I choose what I don't want?" you ask right away. That's how.
Every day you are faced with a bunch of questions that require a choice. Maybe insignificant, but still .. From what decision you make in a certain situation, your future life may one way or another develop. Do you think that some small solution can not affect life in general? I can assure you - it can!
If you imagine your life as a cobweb, in which each individual thread is an option where to go, then every decision you make, even a small one, leads you in a certain direction. In fact, the web of human life is very extensive.
And depending on our choice, we can appear in some specific places. But we appear in some given place and given situation! I wonder why?
Life gives a lesson
Israeli clairvoyant and psychologist Goldie believes that the goal of our life is to work out our complexes, fears and karma. Problematic and unpleasant situations will be repeated in your life until you learn the lesson. At the same time, the situation will worsen every time if nothing is changed.
That is, certain events occur in our lives in order to teach us something.
Comes from childhood
“All the most important things are laid down in childhood,” any psychologist will tell you. And there is a lot of truth in this position. Indeed, much in the character and fate of a person depends on the events and experiences of his childhood. A child is born in a certain family, with certain foundations and relationships within the family. And growing up, he unconsciously begins to remember what should be between mom and dad, with other people, attitude to work, health, some principles.
Remember how children play. How they talk to the puppets, what situations they play out. If you watch a child play, you can see your family and yourself from the outside, through the eyes of a child.
So those very repetitive events can be firmly connected with our childhood. At some point, the brain decided that everything should be that way. And since then, our actions are “programmed” to create just such situations. Is it possible to change this and reload your program? Of course yes. It is important to understand yourself, identify it and change it.
Life is a reflection of you
Anatoly Nekrasov - psychologist, philosopher, leading specialist in the field of family and interpersonal relationships has its own point of view on recurring events.
According to him, life is a photocopier that reflects everything that is in a person . And that means you need to look for the reasons in yourself. A person attracts into his life what is inside him.
Here is one quote from his book:
“The search for the “horizon” begins when a person stops moving inward. Most often, when a person stops working on himself and on his relationships, he begins to move along an “easier” path - the search for a more suitable half in his environment. In this case, finding a soul mate is almost impossible. The world in every possible way leads a person away from the other half, creates many difficulties in relations with the opposite sex , again and again pushing a person to revealing their best qualities, to the manifestation of more and more love ". (Anatoly Nekrasov "Halves").
Is it possible to get out of the vicious circle and move to the next level?
As a rule, a person realizes his problems when they have already reached incredible proportions. Or when the situation repeated itself very much a large number of once. Why is that? We live unconsciously for most of our lives. That is, in order to understand and realize the problem, you need this problem to “hit” you on the head with incredible force. Then, when it seems that life is destroyed and nothing can be changed. Many continue to live like this. Complaining about fate and not seeing a way out.
But there are units of people who begin to delve into themselves. And look for answers to the question: Why is everything happening like this? Why is this happening to me? Can I change something? If yes, what should be done.
Again, many stop at this stage of the question. Or, finding a bunch useful information on the Internet, they begin to introduce everything into their lives.
break this vicious circle Maybe. In the language of psychology, fate is called a life script. All the events taking place in your life, attitudes, beliefs, fears, habits - forms our web of life. And having understood what is behind certain situations, by changing it inside you can change your own life.
I will not describe to you any techniques or technologies read from the Internet. Or tell "the only right decision." It is not in my competence. The fact that you are reading this article already indicates that you have begun to look for ways to change yourself and your life.
Changes are not safe!
Every change paves the way for other changes.
Niccolo Machiavelli
Many people are concerned about the question: “How will my changes affect others? And will the people around me change? The answer will be: "100% yes, they will change." But how they will change - this is the second question.
As a justification for my answer, I will cite the experience of one of my friends. She had a very difficult relationship with her mother since childhood. And as she says, her mother inflicted on her all the psychological trauma that it was possible to inflict on a child. When this woman became interested in psychology and began to change her life and herself, her relationship with her mother also changed. Cardinally. And she explains it all with quantum physics.
Yes, yes, physics. According to the laws quantum physics, if two particles were at least one moment in contact, then they retain this information. And if you change one particle, the other one, which has information about it, also changes. This law of physics can explain many things in our life, but we are not talking about "much" now.
So, there is a connection with our parents, relatives, husbands. Accordingly, our changes will sooner or later affect our environment.
You can learn more about the work of our brain and how it creates certain situations in our life from Dina Gumerova's intensives. The information it provides is unique and interesting, which will also help you make your life easier and more enjoyable. You can find a link to Dina's courses in the article
If this article was useful for you, and you want to tell your friends about it, click on the buttons. Thank you very much! Sometimes there are difficulties in life. Sometimes these difficulties are long and complex. Sometimes we wait for the end of the black stripe from last strength. But those problems that are repeated are especially exhausting and take away the last spiritual strength. In different situations, in a different wrapper, with new circumstances. But the essence does not change. It would seem that they have just gone through a difficult stage in life, they did not have time to come to their senses, how everything starts again. As if a curse lies, a corruption. Or is it fate - to suffer all the time. Or something is mixed up in the heavenly office and by mistake they send only trials, only difficulties.
What is the repetition of the situation really talking about? Is it an accidental injustice or a planned plan by a higher power to make you suffer? The answer to this question can be found if you look at your problems from the side, drawing one unusual analogy.
Imagine a student who does not study well, is irresponsible in doing homework, behaves ugly and violates all the rules of decent behavior. And he does it systematically, deuces for him are not an exception, but a rule. What is the risk of his behavior? The fact that he will not be transferred to the next class, but left for the second year. And he will go through the same lessons again, again he will have the same tasks that he did not cope with a year ago. Because such school program. Because that is his mission - to get an education.
IN ordinary life The situation is very similar to our school education system. We're students, higher power- our teachers. life situations are the tasks that lie ahead of us. And the repetition of the situation only says that last time they failed to overcome it and, like a schoolboy, remained in the second year. What does it look like in real life?
There are many examples. Let's consider just a few of them:
- An unhappy relationship that constantly develops according to the same scenario. A woman meets a seemingly decent man. There is sympathy, interest, attraction. Relationships begin. And over time it changes. He starts drinking, for example. Or be rude. Treats her disrespectfully. Change. There are many options. And after a long time of her tears and suffering, they part. Or get divorced if they managed to get married by that time. And then after a while she meets another man, completely different from the previous one. Relationships begin and everything again develops according to the same scenario. Like a carbon copy.
- Diseases that are very long and difficult to treat. Cause physical suffering and complete mental exhaustion. Doctors, healers, psychics. And after long attempts comes. But not for long. Over time it relapses and it only gets worse. Or another disease arises, no less complex and painful.
- Problems with money. When everything falls apart And business, and all the work done earlier. Deferred stocks are thinning out. Everything is getting out of hand. After a long rehabilitation, when, it would seem, I managed to get to my feet, the situation repeats again and everything collapses again. No money left.
- Relationships with loved ones. When betrayal follows betrayal and it seems that benevolent and sincere people no longer happens at all. Or when a person is constantly faced with deception. Or envy. meanness. It doesn't matter with what. The main thing is that he is haunted by a repetition of the situation.
As you can see, this can apply to any area of life. And this does not mean at all that or that a generational curse has been imposed on you. This is just a reflection of your mistakes, which you make systematically, just like a schoolboy who gets a whole diary of F's before he repeats the year. To understand what these errors are is your task.
It's hard to believe that all the alcoholic men you meet along the way are the result of some of your mistakes. Taking responsibility for your life is never easy. What if it's a debilitating disease? What are you doing here? It's hard to believe, but this is also a consequence of mistakes. Any repetition of the situation is not an accident, but a pattern that needs to be recognized.
If you understand this, then it will become easier to solve problems. After all, what schoolboy blames his fate, higher powers or teachers for the fact that he stayed for the second year? If you cut yourself with a knife while cooking, do you blame the knife? If a child stumbles and falls, does he blame the stone on the road? No. In these cases, taking responsibility for yourself is quite a simple and clear task. But with more global life problems we lack the awareness, wisdom and tact to recognize ourselves as guilty.
And understanding this is the first step to changing your destiny.
