Classic      04/11/2021

How to learn to communicate with people? Secrets of correct behavior. How to speak correctly - the secrets of good tone

The ability to communicate with people determines success social person. This is almost never specifically taught anywhere, with the exception of personal development trainings, but this is often not enough: you can listen to many lectures and inspiring examples, but stay in place. To master communication skills, you need to work on your self-esteem and self-development daily and, of course, practice in everyday life.

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How to increase self-esteem?

It is impossible to successfully communicate with people and build relationships with them if a person has low self-esteem and does not consider himself interesting and worthy. Communication is one of the main ways to increase it, it must be practiced daily: with strangers, relatives, friends, colleagues. Expert advice will help you not to get lost when communicating:

  1. 1. Expand lexicon: Read books and watch quality movies. In addition to the lexicon, they enrich experience and broaden their horizons. It is recommended to write down the most liked phrases and statements.
  2. 2. Develop - learn something new every day, both in a permanent field of activity, and in previously unfamiliar ones.
  3. 3. Touch creativity - engage in it or enjoy works of art: painting, music, photography, handmade and other types.
  4. 4. Get out of your comfort zone - set yourself new small and big goals and achieve them.
  5. 5. Discipline yourself - get a notebook, write in it everything that you want to have time to do in a year, month, week, every day. Completing the items on this list brings moral satisfaction and helps to get organized.
  6. 6. Praise yourself for your actions and accomplishments. They do not have to be recognized norms of society, these can be trifles that are important for a particular person, and only he himself has the right to consider them reasons for praise.
  7. 7. Keep an eye on your appearance - attractive people are much more interesting than groomed and untidy.

It is important in the process of communication to be aware of your individuality, to love and respect yourself. You may not have outstanding abilities and skills in the current period of time, but knowing your worth - this will help you be open and not complex about shortcomings.

There are no perfect people who have all sides strong. To determine your own, you need to think about them alone and, if necessary, write them down. Further - to work on their improvement and development of weak qualities.

How to communicate with people?

Learning to communicate with people means being able not only to express your thoughts competently and beautifully, but also to talk to a person. Communication is a two-way process in which all participants exchange their thoughts, each of them has the right to exist.

A simple technique will help you overcome your fear. Before or during each conversation, when difficulties arise, it is necessary to remember that the interlocutor is the same person, he also tends to doubt his own interest and he also has a lot of complexes, but at the same time he has a number of positive qualities.

What do the people around you want?

To be interesting to other people, you need to understand their psychology. To understand what they want is to have a secret weapon of influence and charm. To do this, you need to learn to think more broadly, to realize that there are different, different from your own point of view, priorities, hobbies. Despite the fact that all people are individual, each of them has their own aspirations and preferences:

You need to talk with a person on any topic absolutely sincerely: ask questions, answer oncoming ones, give assessments, praise, express your opinion - there should be a piece of soul and real emotions in everything

How to please others?

You can learn to communicate with people only by constantly practicing it. In order for people to want and be pleased to talk with someone, they must arouse sympathy in them. This is not at all difficult to achieve if you follow these recommendations:

  1. 1. Work on yourself and be confident in your strengths.
  2. 2. Consider the wishes of others as described above.
  3. 3. Do not complain about fate - negativity about health, environment, material problems, career is guaranteed to repel people. Everyone has enough problems of their own, they don't need someone else's. Everyone is drawn to easy people, optimists who are able to overcome ordinary life difficulties and problems with a smile and dignity.
  4. 4. Do not swear about others: common acquaintances - because the speaker's assessment may not coincide with the opinion of the interlocutor, about strangers - because it is not interesting. In addition, such a topic of conversation will help to form a negative opinion about a person, there is a wise Spanish proverb "Whoever gossips in front of you, gossips about you."
  5. 5. Be sincere in showing positive emotions and tactfully, culturally demonstrate negative ones.
  6. 6. Be relevant - if no one is interested in the topic that you want to talk about, it should not be raised.
  7. 7. Stay open, answer questions honestly, learn to trust others.
  8. 8. Bring a smile: A sense of humor is the best cure for mental disorders and the most effective way to get sympathy.

It is important to remember that none of those around is obliged to justify trust in them - they did not ask for it and should not respond in kind or change their attitude towards the interlocutor, because they have opened their souls. Trust is a way to open up to the world, it is necessary for anyone who wants to learn how to communicate.

How to be an interesting conversationalist?

To be able to communicate confidently, you need to sincerely want it and remember that the essence of communication is not only to talk about yourself, but also to receive information from others. Imperfect speech is easily covered by positive and kind attitude towards others.

What you need to consider in the interlocutor:

  • temperament and character;
  • mood in this moment- not every minute it is suitable for conversation;
  • employment - if he is in a hurry or focused on business, it is more appropriate to postpone the conversation;
  • social status - if he is successful by the standards of society, then it is important to observe subordination, avoid slang, familiarity, informal tone;
  • gender - women need to be complimented more often, a significant part of them may relate to appearance, while men should be praised less often, but reasonably, for personal and professional qualities.

Exercises for daily practice of his script will help to conduct a conversation well. It will not be the same every day and with all people, but the average scheme looks like this:

Conversation stage Recommendations Example
GreetingsIt should be carried out as cordially as possible and with a smile. A person should feel that he is welcome. At this stage, it does not hurt to ask about the current course of his affairs, avoiding banal words and taking into account his individual characteristics.How did you get from your remote area?

How are you holding up? Vigorous with such a busy schedule?

Have you had a toothache the other day, have you been to the dentist?

RapprochementIf it is appropriate, say that you missed, worried or thought about a person until you saw him. If at the greeting stage he complained about something - support, say that you understand, you sympathize, but you are sure that he will cope in the same way as with other problemsFrom the moment I saw your drawings, they have been in my head. I showed it to all my relatives, my daughter is delighted!

Yes, health problems are unsettling, but glad that they pass

Answers on questionsIf the interlocutor asks counter questions about well-being or current affairs, then you need to briefly but concisely answer them with the maximum positive, politely thank you for your interestThanks, arrived great. Although I had to try on the image of Neo from the Matrix on the bus, but I was not the only one
QuestionsThis is the most important part of any conversation, because it should not look like an interrogation, tedious obsessive questioning or attempts to get into the soul. Understanding their relevance will help the reaction of the person and his answers. You need to ask what is hypothetically interesting to the interlocutor, it is desirable to determine topics of interest to him before the conversation, based on information from past communication experience, social networks, positive statements about him by others.

At this stage, you can ask him for advice, justifying your request with his competence.

Are you always wearing headphones, what kind of music do you like? Are you just a listener or creating something of your own?

What are your favorite books/movies?

How long have you been doing sports?

complimentsExpressing feedback to the answers in the form of approval and admiration, you need to make compliments. This technique flawlessly wins over both girls and guys.You have excellent taste.

You are an interesting person.

I thought that such a physical form is created by years of self-discipline and constant training.

You inspired me to go to the gym, I've been thinking about it for a long time

Thanks for the communicationOne phrase, spoken at ease and sincerely, you need to thank the person for the dialogue - this will leave a pleasant impressionThanks, it was nice talking to you.

It was interesting to learn such a non-standard point of view.

You easy man I'll be happy to talk to you again

You can start working on this technique of building a conversation with your relatives and relatives, observe how to speak better and what things to avoid, develop your own individual style that will help reveal personal characteristics. But each conversation will be different.

On initial stage communication, it is recommended to rehearse your statements in front of a mirror, noting the features of your facial expressions and gestures. The "find a synonym" exercise, which can be performed at any time, will also be effective. convenient time, even doing household chores - it will help expand your vocabulary.

Corresponding and talking on the phone is much easier - it is easier to hide embarrassment and excitement, it is from them that most psychologists recommend starting to hone the skill. The proposed scheme is suitable for correspondence communication in the same way as for tête-à-tête.

It is impossible to become an interesting interlocutor in 1 day, as well as in the absence of constant practice. Patience and constant work on yourself will allow you to achieve positive noticeable results after a few months of effort.

And some secrets...

The story of one of our readers Alina R.:

My weight especially bothered me. I gained a lot, after pregnancy I weighed like 3 sumo wrestlers together, namely 92 kg with a height of 165. I thought my stomach would come down after childbirth, but no, on the contrary, I began to gain weight. How to deal with hormonal changes and obesity? But nothing disfigures or rejuvenates a person as much as his figure. In my 20s, I first learned that fat girls are called "WOMAN", and that "they don't sew such sizes." Then at the age of 29, a divorce from her husband and depression ...

But what can you do to lose weight? Laser liposuction surgery? Learned - not less than 5 thousand dollars. Hardware procedures - LPG massage, cavitation, RF lifting, myostimulation? A little more affordable - the course costs from 80 thousand rubles with a consultant nutritionist. You can of course try to run on a treadmill, to the point of insanity.

And when to find the time for all this? Yes, it's still very expensive. Especially now. So for myself I chose a different way ...

Every day a person interacts with other people through communication. People collide with each other at school, work, various events. Communication plays an important role in a person's life, helping him to develop, receive certain information, experience. But what if there is a communication barrier? How to learn to communicate with people?

The reason why a person cannot start a conversation is called a barrier. Why does it arise?

  • Firstly, the inability of a person and his lack of desire to listen to his interlocutor can act as a barrier. He tries to start his speech when the opponent is still speaking. Without the ability to listen, a person will not be able to achieve success in those areas of life where communication with people is the main link for achieving a positive result. After all, when the interlocutor constantly tries to interrupt, inserting some thought of his own, it is very confusing and annoying.

Lack of desire to listen is a slightly different problem. In this case, the opponent does not interrupt, but simply shows his complete indifference to the conversation. The reason for this may be that the person is not interested in the topic of the conversation, or he already has an opinion about the problem under discussion, and he is not going to change it.

At the same time, it is necessary to remember that the interlocutor can pretend that he is interested. As a result, it turns out that a person is wasting time for this conversation. You can check if the opponent is listening to the speech. To do this, you just need to ask the question: "What do you think about this?". If a person has not heard the last of what was said, then he will not be able to express his opinion.

  • Secondly, a barrier can act as an inability to demonstrate that a person is really interested in the issue under discussion. A conversation is much easier when all participants like the topic of conversation. However, if the interlocutor simply shows interest without actually having it, then communication will not make sense. But often the fear of offending a person makes him silent about his indifference to this topic of conversation.
  • Thirdly, a lack of desire to understand the feelings of your interlocutor can be a barrier. It often happens that a person begins communication without paying attention to the mood of the opponent or to what feelings this particular topic evokes in him. And this is a very important point in communication.
  • Fourth, talking to people is hindered by the fear of opening up to them. Usually this is fully manifested when people first met. Not every person is ready to open his soul to another, because for this you need to be confident in him and completely trust him. Although some people may, at the first meeting, tell everything about themselves, which is also not desirable. It is necessary to carefully talk about yourself, choosing what is worth telling and what is better to remain silent.
  • Fifth, the fact that people often have too much different level development and education. The easiest way to interact with each other is people who have almost the same intellectual level. If the interlocutor is tall, then the opponent tries to somehow please him, take an example from him, acquire some kind of skill.

Worst of all, when one person has a lower level of intelligence than another. Then the interest in the conversation will be minimal, there will be no desire to support it. But even this rule has exceptions.
For example, if the interlocutor spent the whole day mental activity, then he is unlikely to want to talk on serious topics. Then he can easily support any casual conversation, even the most trifling one. Therefore, in this case, the intellectual level of the opponent will not play any role.

Psychology of communication with people

The psychology of communication with people is based on certain rules. The best way to form them was the famous psychologist and writer Dale Carnegie. He has in his arsenal excellent and well-known books on communication, which were written back in the 1930s and 40s. For now, they remain the same.

  1. It's important to be genuinely interested in other people. After all, each person believes that he is unique, therefore he wants to be interesting to society. Usually the interlocutor is more willing to enter into a conversation with the opponent who is most interested in him. At the same time, little importance is given to what exactly he says.
  2. You must always smile. A smile is the tool that helps win over the interlocutor. She demonstrates the pleasure of communication.
  3. Do not forget about the name of the opponent, because this is the most pleasant word for any person. During the conversation, you need to call the interlocutor. The name expresses personality, which is why many people don't like it when someone misnames it.
  4. It is very important to listen to the person. With this skill, the opponent shows his attention, interest in the conversation. Unfortunately, not all people know how to listen, trying to quickly wedged into the conversation, expressing their point of view. It is necessary to listen carefully to the interlocutor, ask him questions, show his emotions when appropriate. If you still remember some successful phrase of the opponent, and then express it during the conversation, then he will be doubly pleased and there will be no doubt about whether he was heard.
  5. The conversation should be built on what interests both participants in the discussion. It is good if a person can define or already knows a topic that will definitely not be indifferent to the interlocutor. This is great to help put the person in front of you.
  6. You always need to show a person that he matters. At the same time, this must be done extremely sincerely. This is a very difficult moment in the field of communication psychology. An opponent can always feel a false interest in him, a feigned admiration. Even if people prefer flattery, they may still feel some discomfort. Therefore, one should find in a person those sides that actually seem unique and best, and praise him for them.

People who are distinguished by isolation are faced with the inability to step over themselves to utter any phrase in order to keep the conversation going. But this skill is necessary for every person as much as the ability to write and read. Psychologists have created some recommendations on how to learn to communicate with people.

Well, you can practice on inanimate objects. You can just talk to your furniture, for example, tell your desk how great today was and what interesting events happened.

Experts say that such an exercise actually allows you to learn how to communicate with people correctly, express your thoughts, build sentences logically, train your facial expressions and gestures. However, for many people, this idea seems delusional. In any case, you can change the furniture to a pet. For example, a dog will always faithfully listen to all the stories of its owner.

Praise is another exercise. When a person enters into a conversation, he should always try to compliment his interlocutors, highlight their special qualities and skills. Many are embarrassed to express their feelings, but everyone knows that people love to be praised.

At the same time, it is important to take into account that good words must be sincere, come from the heart. Do not specifically flatter, it can be noticeable.

by the most the best view exercises, how to properly communicate with people around, is direct communication with random opponents. It is necessary to set a goal for yourself every day to enter into a conversation with a stranger. For example, when you come to a grocery store, you can talk with the seller about the quality of a particular product.

Or when you need to find a certain address, you can ask random passers-by how to get to it. Also, entering the room, you can greet the concierge friendly, ask about her mood, talk about the weather, and so on. When talking to strangers, it is important to always smile. It brings people together.

Facial expressions and gestures in communication

Learning how to talk to people properly isn't everything. It is necessary to acquire the skill of correct gestures and facial expressions. Sometimes body language says more than the words themselves. When the interlocutor speaks, the surrounding people evaluate not only speech, but also the location, movement of arms, legs, head, eyes.

In order for people to listen to speech, it is necessary to adhere to the following rules:

  • It is important to learn how to look at the interlocutor correctly. Sometimes a person has such a look that the other gets a lump in his throat and he is afraid to say anything. Therefore, it is necessary to look at the opponent openly, look away, constantly show your interest in him. Depending on what topic the conversation is about, the view may be different. You should not look "eye to eye", this creates additional tension when communicating. If your interlocutor is trying to look you straight in the eyes, you can look in their direction, but without focusing your eyes on them. Look through the person's face.
  • You need to watch your facial expressions and the facial expressions of your interlocutor. A person always expresses any emotions on his face. You can learn to recognize the mood of a partner by facial expressions, as well as express feelings yourself with the help of it.
  • You need to be able to determine the mood of a person by gestures. If a person crosses his legs, clutches a folder, hides his hands in his pockets, then it is safe to say that he is trying to fence himself off. Then the conversation is unlikely to turn out to be open and interesting from the first minutes.

The posture should be open, gestures should be smooth and slow, palms should be open. This will indicate that the person is calm and ready to talk. Some people who skillfully use psychological tricks, often use the method of "mirroring". It consists in repeating the partner's gestures or posture after a short period of time. This technique allows people to open up better.

Communication with other people is an integral part of human life. Without this, personal development is impossible. To acquire the skill of communication, you must constantly practice it. The more a person talks to people, the faster he will lose all the fettering barriers that were in his way.

The psychology of communication is undoubtedly one of the most important areas of our lives. Every day we, in one way or another, interact, meet and talk with people around us. This is a natural process emanating from the very nature of man as a social being.

However, sometimes situations arise when for some reason it is difficult for us to communicate, especially when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex, dating or maintaining already existing relationships. Every person, with rare exceptions, undoubtedly feels the desire to communicate, but certain complexes, imposed beliefs prevent him from doing this. This article will reveal the basic principles and tell you how to learn to communicate with people.

Is there a way to relax and enjoy it? How to stop being constrained, overcome the feeling of anxiety and fear of communication, stop worrying over trifles and make your life much more pleasant thanks to this?

The key role of communication in human life has long been proven by scientists. Our well-being, successful life and relationships directly depend on it.

Before moving on to tips for dealing with communication fear, it is necessary to identify the very cause of this fear and the discomfort associated with it. Knowing the root of the problem, revealing its essence, it will be much easier to solve it.

How not to be afraid to talk to people

Perhaps the fear of communication lies in your childhood, think about it, maybe you will remember some kind of conflict that happened to you as a child.

Then you did not attach much importance to this, but the negative sediment remained on the subconscious, and now it prevents you from developing. In this case, you should consult a specialist, or undergo a series of psychological trainings that will help you overcome the current situation.

There may be other, less profound, reasons, such as:

  • inability to properly build connections and relationships
  • inability to make contacts
  • lack of understanding
  • excessive modesty
  • your timidity, shyness
  • excessive restraint and meekness
  • low self-esteem
  • complexes about appearance
  • inability to listen and understand other people
  • fear of causing displeasure of others

In order to overcome this fear, you first need to understand that…

  • This fear must be acknowledged. Often people accumulate all their experiences within themselves, which further aggravates the situation, or they themselves cannot accept the problem, denying it day by day. It is best to tell someone about this fear. This is the most common way in psychology when you share a problem with friends or relatives and it becomes easier for you, you are no longer constrained by these thoughts. The feeling of negativity caused by your experiences comes out with the words. Talk about it more and more and soon, you yourself will no longer understand what you were so afraid of.
  • Changes in you will not happen overnight. This process can take a long time, only daily long-term work on yourself will give fruitful results.
  • You need to stop thinking about this problem. The more you focus on it, the more intractable it seems to you. Relax and enjoy the process.
  • You have to do what you fear the most. Start chatting, talking to someone, and do it all the time. Continuous practice is needed. It is impossible to overcome psychological problems solely by reading literature and special articles. To learn how to calmly talk with people, to defend your position, you need to start acting. Confidence and calmness in communication directly depend on the acquired practical experience. The more of it, the better. Do not stop.

    Remember, if you decide to fight a problem and do nothing, it means that you have made a decision to do nothing.

    Fight with yourself, do not stop at the achieved result, believe in yourself and try to find a person who would support you.

  • If you find it difficult to communicate directly with people, then start with phone calls. Think, maybe you have been planning to do something for a long time, and certain information is not available to you, and you can get it only by calling, for example, a help desk or an Internet provider. Start calling to find out the cost and all sorts of details. Write a list of questions you want to ask ahead of time and get started. Ask about the work schedule, their location, email address, mail, ask them to explain how you can find them.
  • Gradually, you will achieve the desired result, the voice will stop trembling, stiffness will pass, and you will no longer need a sheet of questions, you will improvise. Thus, you will prepare yourself for the next stage − real communication. To do this, talk to strangers as often as possible, ask them specific questions or contact them with requests: find out how to get to the place you need, which bus is better to take, at which stop to get off, how to get somewhere where that or other organization. In stores, be sure to agree to the consultant's offer to help you (or go to the seller with questions yourself). Look for all sorts of reasons to communicate on your own, this will serve effective development your imagination and relieve unnecessary stress when meeting new people.
  • Try to read more, learn new information every day, and form your own own opinion about certain events. Practice with loved ones more often, because when talking with them, you feel more relaxed than with strangers. Tell us about a movie you recently watched or a book you read: what you liked or disliked and why; your opinion about the main characters; plot; whether you will re-watch this movie or re-read the book, or perhaps try other books by the author.

What should I do if they don't want to talk to me?

There are times when we come to new team or we are invited to spend time in the company, however, contact is not established, you move away from the group, and become a white crow, you are bypassed and avoid communicating with you. The reason for this can be a lack of energy, interest in others and life drive, as well as interests, hobbies and opinions.

If you are confident in yourself, then behave as naturally as possible and, importantly, maintain inner peace.

Don't give in to what's happening of great importance. But don't wait for someone to come up to you and introduce you. Take the first step yourself, be more proactive, take part in discussions, do not refuse if you are asked for something.

Another problem can be communication with the opposite sex.

Let's get to the tips

How to learn to communicate with guys

Proper communication with a guy will help you build a good long-term relationship.

Remember, if the conversation has reached a dead end, and your interlocutor has nothing to talk about with you, then he almost immediately loses interest in you.

To understand how to talk and about what, try to find out who he is, what he does, if he has hobbies and what he likes.

Try to be positive and cheerful Everyone likes such people, they make you smile and forget about your problems. A smile always inspires confidence and encourages mutual understanding. In no case do not forget to smile, this will help you avoid tension in the conversation. Never wring your hands, do not cross them on your chest, because. this gesture on the subconscious is perceived as protection and closeness, unwillingness to contact, the desire to protect one's comfort zone. Do not be nervous and tense, do not bite your lips, this is also a sign of awkwardness. Be yourself.

When talking with a guy, try to choose topics that he is passionate about, try to understand them yourself, and only then move on to the discussion.

Of course, it is not necessary to know everything thoroughly. Ask him something on the topic, he will only be pleased that you are not indifferent to his knowledge and opinion.

Do not be silent, but if it happens that you do not find what to answer, then say that you are not familiar with it. Thus, you will be able to show your unobtrusiveness, the guy will understand that it is not so easy to interest you. If the guy asks to tell about himself, do not forget a couple of the main points about his life and that's it. Recall that when communicating with guys, it is necessary to focus all attention on them, and not on yourself.

You can talk with a guy on all sorts of topics, based on your mood, but without vulgarity and intimate details, this is unacceptable during the first communication. Try to talk on well-known topics, you should avoid women's gossip and discussing other people behind their backs.

The most important thing is to maintain a casual conversation, this will give you an idea of ​​what exactly the guy is interested in.

How to learn to communicate with girls

If you like a girl and don't know where to start to strike up a conversation with her, then just smile and greet her. Warm and sincere smile always sets in a positive way when communicating. Try to keep your smile warm and sincere. Do this, and no girl can resist such a tempting invitation to meet.

« What should I talk to her about?”- such a question arises at the very moment when you find yourself alone with a girl you like, further acquaintance with whom would give you great pleasure.

Ask questions, but at the same time, avoid those that she could answer with a monosyllabic “yes” or “no”. Instead of: “Do you like this movie? – “What films do you usually watch?” or “How do you feel about…?” Unleash your imagination, find out more about your companion. This advice is really effective if you do not know how to talk silently.

Thanks to these tips, you will learn how to enjoy being in a company, and you will win people over. If you still feel that you are shy when communicating with unfamiliar people, remember what we told you today. It's time to conquer your fears.

Video: How to communicate with a variety of people?

Attention, only TODAY!

What prevents us from easily and simply communicating with people - talking, maintaining contact? After all, speaking is one of the most important human abilities.

There are many reasons, among which the most popular are:

Shyness,
- fear of saying something stupid
- fear of being misunderstood
- unwillingness to express one's opinion -

and many other excuses hiding psychological problem communication. How to communicate with people correctly so that this process brings joy, how to reveal the secret of the ability to talk and negotiate -.

Why you can't talk to people the right way

The ability to communicate with people is required daily. Thanks to the ability to speak, we can communicate our thoughts, make friends, confess our love, achieve career growth and stay confident in any life situation. Entire life modern man consists of intersections with other people, and communication skills are essential.

But what if the conversation doesn't work? Fear, isolation, unsociableness, uncertainty - all this does not make it possible to find a common language with the interlocutor. Unraveling the secret of effective communication helps System-Vector Psychology Yuri Burlan.

Communicative interaction is the action of transmitting and receiving information between people. It seems that everything is simple and clear. But for some reason, a failure occurs, and a person cannot easily perform these same actions. The reasons lie in his psyche, which determines thoughts, hidden motives, priorities. Regardless of education or age, the psychology of communication is closely related to a set of desires and values ​​of a particular person, called vectors.

Rules of communication psychology: for whom it is important

For the owner of the anal vector, the problem will be the fear of disgrace, to say something wrong, out of place. An excellent memory and the ability to analyze past events carefully preserve in his thoughts all past mistakes and mistakes.

His innate perfectionism and attention to detail make him constantly scroll through a different set of conversation options in his head, thinking about the next word. Therefore, his speech is slow, burdened with many details, often unnecessary to the interlocutor. If he is interrupted during a conversation or forced to speak faster, he may fall into a stupor and lose the thread of the conversation.

Tendency to generalize bad personal experience instead of productively applying their analytical skills to professional activity inevitably leads to fear of communication. And even if such a person starts attending trainings on communicating with people, problems are likely to remain. The set of rules and guidelines received there shows how to work on the investigation, but will not be able to remove the cause of uncertainty and difficulties in communication.

And this is important - to realize the causes of their fears and problems. It's like a medical diagnosis. When it is accurately set and the cause of the disease is determined, it can be cured. Knowing how the psyche works, its properties can be used to the benefit of others and to your own joy.

It's scary to communicate with people: how to overcome yourself

And if it’s scary not only to communicate, but even to live? The huge emotional amplitude of the owner of the visual vector sometimes plays cruel jokes with him. The range of emotions from boundless happiness to the same boundless grief and longing. An amazingly rich imagination throws up fantastic stories with catastrophes, murders and innumerable misfortunes.

It is people with a visual vector who have the strongest fears, panic attacks and anxiety.

The innate fear of death is the root emotion, as the cause of the whole variety of phobias remains with the visual person, when all his thoughts revolve around fear for himself and his own safety. He begins to be afraid to communicate with people, playing in his head fantastic stories about robberies, violence, murders. The spectator's fantasies are so vivid and exciting that he begins to believe them, to live in a fictional reality and cannot get out of there.

The paradox is that fantasies are transferred to real life. The more the viewer is afraid for himself, the more fears he has, the more often he gets into situations where he becomes a victim of stories that are no longer fictional. He cannot be confident. It “smells” of fear, of “victim”, and everyone catches this smell - from dogs that growl and bite such people to rapists and robbers.

Psychologists' advice on how to overcome fear, overcome yourself, stop being afraid, does not give any result. And this is understandable. After all, again we are trying to fight the investigation, not understanding the causes of any fears, including the fear of communicating with people. Awareness of one's properties and desires allows a person to get rid of all the problems associated with hypertrophied self-care and fear for oneself.

Empathy for other people, relatives, friends, friends allows the viewer to establish a strong emotional contact with the interlocutor and share his sorrows and joys with him. In this case, the fear goes away and there is no communication problem at all. On the contrary, such people are drawn to. They want to be with them, feeling genuine sympathy and empathy.

How to learn to communicate when I'm not interested in you

Sound people are idea generators. But with whom to share them? Who can understand and discuss them? Brilliant in potential, but difficult to communicate, as if obsessed with themselves and their thoughts, sound engineers often close in on themselves, they do not make good contact with people. They cannot clearly and simply express their thoughts, because the meaning is clear to them, and it is no longer interesting to pronounce the entire chain of words.

Egocentric by nature, arrogant and "the smartest", people with a sound vector can engage in spiritual self-improvement, the psychology of which is to know what is not in the material world. Of course, finding like-minded people for such communication is not easy. But if this happened, then two sound people will discuss higher worlds, spiritual themes or happily silent, sitting at night under the starry sky.

To answer eternal questions Who am I, where do I come from and where am I going? - the sound engineer needs to realize his desires and peculiarities. Realizing that his main desire is to know himself, the people around him and the meaning of life, the sound engineer can get out of his "shell" and begin to learn the world. The transfer of concentration from one's internal states to others completely solves all the problems of communication with people.