Kelly McGonigal willpower how to develop reading. Strength of will. How to develop and strengthen - McGonigal Kelly. The bodily reserve of willpower

Willpower book. How to develop and strengthen” is a scientific and journalistic psychological treatise with an emphasis on the practical component of the story. What hinders the achievement of the goal? Why does a person make a decision and stop at the beginning of the path to his dream? The reasons for this behavior and ways to deal with the problem are considered by practical psychologist Kelly McGoginal.

positive and negative reinforcement

As a rule, in the case of one or another kind of mental disorders (congenital or caused by certain irritants from the outside), two main methods of treatment are used: medication and drug-free. The first, for the most part, practices psychotherapy, and the second - psychology.

Naturally, psychotropic substances used in psychiatry affect not only the human psyche, but also the body as a whole. And often this influence is negative with a number of side effects. Yes, and regarding mental disorders, even professional physicians do not have an unambiguous opinion regarding the possibility of a complete cure of a person with such drugs.

What is the reason for this? In fact, everything is simple. Human consciousness lives by comparison and associations. In the case of the use of this or that drug, certain mental reactions are suppressed. But this suppression occurs artificially, since the associative connection is practically not expressed. In order to get the maximum effect, it is necessary that suppression be replaced or combined with consolidation, that is, the presence of a natural associative connection. A natural associative connection for a person can be any process from his Everyday life, in which the instinctive component of human essence predominates.

To make it clearer, it is necessary to give examples of positive and negative reinforcement. Positive: a kiss or candy, as a reward for a particular action or inaction. Negative: pain, restrictions, coercion, as a punishment for this or that action or inaction. As can be seen, in taking medications, there are no such circumstances that enhance the effect.

Thus, drug-free treatment in some cases turns out to be an order of magnitude more productive than the use of certain drugs. Many, probably, will decide: how great it is - you can cure a person with a kiss. However, not all so simple. This method healing mental illness is one of the most difficult and only qualified specialists can do it. While the negative anchoring method is older and more proven. And, precisely, thanks to him, you can get the maximum result at minimal cost (including time).

Kelly McGoginal gives in her work soft but reliable options for the training of consciousness by the method of positive and negative reinforcement.

This book is dedicated to anyone who has ever struggled with temptation, addiction, procrastination and persuading themselves to do something - that is, all of us.

A smart man wants to control himself - a child wants sweets.

When I tell anyone I'm teaching a course on willpower, they almost always say, "Oh, that's what I'm missing." Today, more than ever, people understand that willpower - the ability to control attention, feelings and desires - affects physical health, financial status, close relationships and professional success. We all know this. We know that we must have complete control over our lives: what we eat, do, say, buy.

However, most people feel like failures on this path: one moment they control themselves, and the next they are overwhelmed by feelings and lose control. According to the American Psychological Association, society believes that a lack of willpower is the main cause of difficulties on the way to a goal. Many people feel guilty for letting themselves and others down. Many find themselves at the mercy of their own thoughts, feelings, addictions - their behavior is dictated more by impulses than by conscious choice. Even the most adept at self-control get tired of holding the line and ask themselves if life really has to be this hard.

My task as a specialist in health psychology and a teacher who conducts classes in a health improvement program at medical faculty Stanford University - to teach people to manage stress and make sound decisions. For years, I have watched people struggle with themselves to change their thoughts, feelings, bodies, and habits, and I realized that these sufferers' notions of willpower were hindering their success and causing unnecessary stress. Although science could help them, people were not good at taking dry facts and continued to rely on old strategies that, as I found again and again, were not only ineffective - they went sideways, led to sabotage and loss of control.

This inspired me to create the course "The Science of Willpower", which I teach as part of the program. additional education at Stanford University. The course summarizes the results latest research psychologists, economists, neuroscientists and doctors and explains how to break old habits and develop good ones, overcome procrastination, learn to focus and cope with stress. He reveals why we give in to temptation and how to find the strength to resist. He shows the importance of understanding the limits of self-control and suggests the best strategies for building willpower.

To my delight, The Science of Willpower quickly became one of the most popular courses the Stanford Continuing Education program has ever offered. In the very first class, we had to change the audience four times to accommodate the continuously arriving audience. Corporate executives, teachers, athletes, medical professionals and other curious crowds filled one of Stanford's largest auditoriums. Students began to bring spouses, children and colleagues to introduce them to the cherished knowledge.

I hoped the course would be useful to this motley company. The goals of the people who attended the classes varied: some wanted to quit smoking or lose weight, while others wanted to get out of debt or become a good parent. But the result surprised even me. Four weeks later, in a survey, 97 percent of students reported that they had become more aware of their own behavior, and 84 percent that their willpower had strengthened due to the proposed strategies. By the end of the course, participants talked about how they had overcome their 30-year cravings for sweets, finally paid their taxes, stopped yelling at their children, started exercising regularly, and felt that they were generally more satisfied with themselves and responsible for their decisions. Their evaluation of the course: it changed their lives. The students were unanimous: The Science of Willpower gave them clear strategies for developing self-control and the power to achieve what meant so much to them. The scientific findings were equally useful to a recovering alcoholic and to a person who could not tear himself away from e-mail. Self-control strategies helped people avoid temptations: chocolate, video games, shopping, and even a married co-worker. Students attended classes to achieve personal goals such as running a marathon, starting a business, coping with the stress of losing a job, family conflicts, and a dreaded Friday dictation (that's what happens when moms bring their kids to class).

Of course, like any honest teacher, I confess that I also learned a lot from students. They fell asleep when I hummed about miracles for too long. scientific discoveries, but I forgot to mention what willpower has to do with it. They quickly told me which strategies worked in the real world and which failed (a laboratory experiment would never achieve this). They creatively approached the weekly tasks and shared with me new ways to turn abstract theories into useful rules for everyday life. This book combines the best scientific achievements and practical course exercises, based on the latest research and the experience of hundreds of my students.

In order to successfully control yourself, you need to know your weaknesses.

Most books about life changes—new diets or financial freedom—will help you set your goals and even show you how to achieve them. But if we had enough awareness of what we want to fix, every New Year's resolution we made to ourselves would come true, and my class would be empty. A rare book will tell you why you are not busy with what you need.

I believe that The best way develop self-control - understand how and why you lose it. Knowing what will most likely cause you to give up will not set you up for failure, as many fear. It will serve as a support for you and help you get around the traps in which willpower tends to cheat on you. According to research, people who think they have a strong will are actually much more likely to lose their temper when tempted. For example, smokers who are particularly optimistic about their ability to abstain from cigarettes are much more likely to be taken for granted four months later, and overly optimistic weight lossrs are minimally likely to lose weight. Why? They fail to predict when, where, and why they will succumb to temptation. They expose themselves to great temptations, such as hanging out in smoking groups or placing vases of cookies around the house. Their breakdowns are genuinely amazing, and they give up at the slightest difficulty.

Knowing about ourselves - especially about how we behave when our willpower fails us - is the foundation of self-control. That's why the Science of Willpower course and this book focus on common failures of self-control. Each chapter debunks common misconceptions about self-control and offers a new approach to willpower testing. We will make a kind of autopsy of each of our oversights. What causes failure when we succumb to temptation or delay what we need to do? What is this fatal mistake and why do we make it? Most importantly, we will find a way to save ourselves from evil fate and turn the knowledge of mistakes into strategies for success.

I hope that after reading this book, you will understand your imperfect but perfect human behavior. The science of willpower shows that each of us, in one way or another, struggles with temptation, addiction, absent-mindedness, and procrastination. All these weaknesses do not reveal in us personal failure - they are universal phenomena, part of our human essence. If my book only helps you see that you are far from alone in your “struggling of wills,” I will be happy. But I would really like to see things go further and the strategies in this book give you the opportunity to truly and permanently change your life.

How to use this book

Become a Willpower Explorer

I was trained as a researcher, and the first thing I learned was that theories are good, but facts are better. So I ask you to treat the book as an experiment. The scientific approach to self-control is not limited to the laboratory. You can - and should - make yourself the subject of your own natural experiment. While reading the book, do not take my words for granted. I will argue my arguments, but I will ask you to check them in practice. Do your research, find out what is right for you, what helps you.

In each chapter, you will find two types of tasks that will help you become a willpower researcher. The first one is called "Under the microscope". These are questions about what is happening in your life right now. Before you change something, you need to see it. For example, I will ask you to note when you are most likely to give in to temptation, how hunger affects your spending. I will ask you to pay attention to what you say to yourself when your will is tested, including when you put things off until later, and how you yourself evaluate the successes and failures of your will. I'll even ask you to do field research, such as how salespeople use store interiors to loosen your self-control. In each such case, take the impartial position of a curious observer - like a scientist staring into a microscope, hoping to discover something exciting and useful. You should not eat yourself for every weakness or complain about the modern world with its temptations (the first is superfluous, but I will take care of the second).

Kelly McGonigal is a health psychologist known for her work in the field of "scientific aid" and an international best-selling author.

Childhood and education

Kelly McGonigal was born on October 21, 1977, she has a twin sister Jane (now a game designer). The girl grew up in New Jersey in a family of teachers, whose profession, of course, influenced her intellectual development. She received a bachelor's degree in psychology, a bachelor of science degree in mass communications from Boston University, and a Ph.D. from Stanford University.

Labor activity

Lecturer in Psychology and the Public Will Course at Stanford University.

Advises a wide range of nonprofit organizations and industries, bringing evidence-based strategies for workplace wellness, health, education, technology, and community service.

She currently works as a psychology consultant for The New York Times.

She is a passionate animal rescue advocate and volunteer advisor to Animal's Best Friends.

Scientific views

A meditation practitioner, she was editor-in-chief of the peer-reviewed journal International Journal of Yoga Therapy from 2005 to 2012 and advocated the practice of yoga and similar mindfulness as a way to redirect and direct attention and mental resources to achieve desired results. The rationale was built on research into the effects of meditation on the brain and the ego depletion model, also called the "power" theory of self-control, proposed by a team led by Roy Baumeister. A simple summary of McGonigal's "strong" theory of self-control: "Self-control is like a muscle. When used, it gets tired." As an author and researcher on self-control, she frequently refers to how willpower can be built and channeled. Emphasizing the role of meditation techniques for dealing with stress to provide best work under difficult conditions, McGonigal changed her mind somewhat in 2013 and now emphasizes stress as a decisive factor.

She defines willpower as "the ability to do what you really want to do when part of you really doesn't want to do it." People experience conflicts between impulse and self-control in personal and social contexts, such as craving for sweets, the desire to be sarcastic or complaining, the desire to procrastinate. In doing so, they have developed adaptations to control their instincts and successfully resist impulsive movements, because living in groups requires self-control, and this, in her opinion, means accepting a more difficult option. According to McGonigal, willpower or success can spread through a group because people tend to mirror the behavior of those with whom they are socially connected.

She also believes that the practice of meditation - effective method establish the primacy of the prefrontal cortex, thus allowing more difficult choices to be made when needed to achieve a long-term goal. She believes that exercising self-control can help build willpower in the same way that physical exercise can increase the ability to exercise over time. In her opinion, thoughts become more intrusive due to the suppression of thought, and it is best to simply register that an unwanted thought has arisen, without believing in it or acting on it. The energy to keep going is less limited than resisting temptation, people give their brains healthy "desires" like vegetables or an afternoon walk so that weight loss becomes a by-product of choice.

In a talk presented at TEDGlobal 2013, which has over 13 million online views on the TED website, she said she has revisited her ideas about stress in light of new research on how beliefs relate to stress. She now emphasizes that choosing to view your stress response as beneficial creates a "biology of courage," while interacting with others under stress can create resilience. "Stress makes us socially intelligent - it's what allows us to be fully human."

Learning to be a friend and mentor to yourself rather than equating self-control with self-criticism is the attitude she advocates. As a pioneer in helping science, her mission is to translate insights from psychology and neuroscience into practical strategies that support personal well-being and strengthen communities.

Books

The Science of Compassion: A Modern Approach for Cultivating Empathy, Love, and Connection ( "The Science of Compassion").
The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and how to Get Good at It "Good stress as a way to get stronger and better").
The Willpower Instinct. How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It ( "Strength of will. How to develop and strengthen).
Yoga for Pain Relief: Simple Practices to Calm Your Mind and Heal Your Chronic Pain ( "Anti-pain! 10 Effective Yoga Exercises to Relieve Pain).

Kelly McGonigal

Physical health, financial situation, relationships with others and professional success depend on willpower - this is a well-known fact. But why do we so often lack this very willpower: one moment we control ourselves, and the next we are overwhelmed by feelings and we lose control?

Stanford professor Kelly McGonigal, summarizing the results of the latest research, explains how to replace bad habits with good ones, how to stop putting things off until the last moment, learn to focus and cope with stress. The McGonigal Method makes it surprisingly easy to develop willpower in yourself—whether you need it for weight loss, quit smoking, exercise, stop checking your email every five minutes, or find new job. You have no idea how much you underestimate your abilities!

2nd edition.

Published in Russian for the first time.

Kelly McGonigal

Strength of will. How to develop and strengthen

Published with permission from Andrew Nurnberg Literary Agency

Book illustrations provided by Tina Pavlato of Visual Anatomy Limited (ch. 1, 5), Hal Ersner-Herschfield and John Baron (ch. 7)

All rights reserved. No part of the electronic version of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, including posting on the Internet and corporate networks, for private and public use, without the written permission of the copyright owner.

Legal support of the publishing house is provided by the law firm "Vegas-Lex"

This book is well complemented by:

whole life

Les Hewitt, Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen

time drive

Gleb Arkhangelsky

How to get things in order

David Allen

Personal development

Stephen Pavlina

Strategy and the fat smoker

David Meister

This book is dedicated to anyone who has ever struggled with temptation, addiction, procrastination and persuasion to do something - that is, all of us

A smart man wants to control himself - a child wants sweets.

Rumi

Preface. Introductory lesson on the course "The Science of Willpower"

When I tell anyone I'm teaching a course on willpower, they almost always say, "Oh, that's what I'm missing." Today, more than ever, people are realizing that willpower—the ability to control attention, feelings, and desires—affects physical health, financial status, close relationships, and professional success. We all know this. We know that we must have complete control over our lives: what we eat, do, say, buy.

However, most people feel like failures on this path: one moment they are in control of themselves, and the next they are overwhelmed by feelings and they lose control. According to the American Psychological Association, society believes that a lack of willpower is the main cause of difficulties on the way to the goal. Many people feel guilty for letting themselves and others down. Many find themselves at the mercy of their own thoughts, feelings, addictions - their behavior is dictated more by impulses than by conscious choice. Even the most adept at self-control get tired of holding the line and ask themselves if life really has to be this hard.

As a health psychologist and educator of the wellness program at Stanford University School of Medicine, my job is to teach people how to manage stress and make healthy decisions. For years, I have watched people struggle with themselves to change their thoughts, feelings, bodies, and habits, and I realized that these sufferers' notions of willpower were hindering their success and causing unnecessary stress. Although science might have helped them, people had a hard time accepting the dry facts and continued to rely on old strategies that, as I found time and time again, were not only ineffective, they backfired, led to sabotage and loss of control.

This inspired me to create the Science of Willpower course, which I teach as part of the continuing education program at Stanford University. The course summarizes the results of the latest research by psychologists, economists, neuroscientists and doctors and explains how to break old habits and develop good ones, overcome procrastination, learn to focus and cope with stress. He reveals why we give in to temptation and how to find the strength to resist. He shows the importance of understanding the limits of self-control and suggests the best strategies for building willpower.

Of course, like any honest teacher, I confess that I also learned a lot from students. They fell asleep when I hummed for too long about the wonders of scientific discoveries, but forgot to mention what it has to do with willpower. They quickly told me which strategies worked in the real world and which failed (a laboratory experiment would never achieve this). They creatively approached the weekly tasks and shared with me new ways to turn abstract

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theory into useful rules for everyday life. This book combines the best scientific achievements and practical exercises of the course, based on the latest research and the experience of hundreds of my students.

In order to successfully control yourself, you need to know your weaknesses.

I believe that the best way to develop self-control is to understand how and why you lose it. Knowing what will most likely cause you to give up will not set you up for failure, as many fear. It will serve as a support for you and help you get around the traps in which willpower tends to cheat on you. According to research, people who think they have a strong will are actually much more likely to lose their temper when tempted. For example, smokers who are particularly optimistic about their ability to abstain from cigarettes are much more likely to be taken for granted four months later, and overly optimistic weight lossrs are minimally likely to lose weight. Why? They fail to predict when, where, and why they will succumb to temptation. They expose themselves to great temptations, such as hanging out in smoking groups or placing vases of cookies around the house. Their breakdowns are genuinely amazing, and they give up at the slightest difficulty.

Knowing about ourselves—especially how we behave when our willpower fails us—is the foundation of self-control. That's why the Science of Willpower course and this book focus on common failures of self-control. Each chapter debunks common misconceptions about self-control and offers a new approach to willpower testing. We will make a kind of autopsy of each of our oversights. What causes failure when we succumb to temptation or delay what we need to do? What is this fatal mistake and why do we make it? Most importantly, we will find a way to save ourselves from evil fate and turn the knowledge of mistakes into strategies for success.

I hope that after reading the book, you will understand your imperfect, but completely human behavior. The science of willpower shows that each of us, in one way or another, struggles with temptation, addiction, absent-mindedness, and procrastination. All these weaknesses do not expose our personal failure - they are universal phenomena, part of our human essence. If my book only helps you see that you are far from alone in your “struggling of wills,” I will be happy. But I would really like to see things go further and the strategies in this book give you the opportunity to truly and permanently change your life.

How to use this book

Become a Willpower Explorer

I was trained as a researcher, and the first thing I learned was that theories are good, but facts are better. So I ask you to treat the book as an experiment. The scientific approach to self-control is not limited to the laboratory. You can – and should – make yourself the subject of your own natural experiment. While reading the book, do not take my words for granted. I will argue my arguments, but I will ask you to check them in practice. Do your research, find out what is right for you, what helps you.

In each chapter, you will find two types of tasks that will help you become a willpower researcher. The first one is called "Under the microscope". These are questions about what is happening in your life right now. Before you change something, you need to see it. For example, I will ask you to note when you are most likely to give in to temptation, how hunger affects your spending. I will ask you to pay attention to what you say to yourself when your will is tested, including when you put things off until later, and how you yourself evaluate the successes and failures of your will. I'll even ask you to do field research, such as how salespeople use store interiors to loosen your self-control. In each such case, take the impartial position of a curious observer, like a scientist peering into a microscope, hoping to discover something exciting and useful. You should not eat yourself for every weakness or complain about the modern world with its temptations (the first is superfluous, but I will take care of the second).

In each chapter you will also find "Experiments". These are practical strategies for improving self-control taken from scientific research or theories. They will help you strengthen your willpower in life's trials. I strongly recommend that you keep an open mind about all methods, even if some seem counterintuitive to you (there will be many). They have been tested by students in my course, and while not every strategy will work for everyone, they all deserve the highest praise. But what about those that sounded good in theory, but failed miserably in practice? You won't find them here.

These experiments are a wonderful way to stop stalling and find new solutions to old problems. I recommend that you test different strategies and see from experience what works best for you. Since these are experiments, not exams, you can't fail them - even if you decide to try directly the opposite what science offers (after all, it needs skeptics too). Share these methods with friends, family, colleagues, see what works for them. It's always educational and you can use your observations to sharpen your own skills.

Your test of willpower

To get the most out of this book, I suggest that you choose one willpower challenge to test all of your ideas. Every person has their own weaknesses. Some of them are universal, for example, we have biological cravings for sweets and fats, and we all have to restrain ourselves so as not to devastate the local candy store alone. But many willpower tests are unique. What attracts one person may repel another. What excites one person may seem boring to another. And someone will gladly pay for the opportunity to do something that you are still not going to do. However, whatever the difficulties, they affect us all in the same way. You are about as hungry for chocolate as a smoker is for a cigarette, or as a shopaholic is itching to empty his wallet. You talk yourself out of playing sports

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in the same way as some person justifies himself for not paying overdue bills, and another for not sitting an extra evening with books.

Perhaps your test of willpower is something you've always avoided (let's call it the "I will" test of power), or some habit you want to break (the "I won't" test of power). You can also select an important life purpose to whom you want to give more strength and attention (test of strength "I want"), for example, take care of your health, cope with stress, become a better parent, achieve career success. Absent-mindedness, temptations, impulsiveness, and procrastination are such universal tests that the advice in this book will work for any purpose. By the time you finish reading, you will have a better understanding of your weaknesses and will be armed with a new set of self-control strategies.

Take your time

This book contains a 10 week educational course. It is divided into 10 chapters, each describing one key idea, the science behind it, and how it can be applied to your goals. Ideas and strategies are interconnected, and the tasks of each chapter prepare you for the next.

While you can read the entire book in a weekend, I suggest slowing down when it comes to implementing strategies. In my classes, students spend a whole week watching how each idea resonates in their lives. Every week they try one new way of self-control, and at the end they report which one helped them the most. I encourage you to take the same approach, especially if you intend to use the book for a particular purpose, such as weight loss or cost control. Give yourself time to try all the exercises and reflect. Choose one strategy from each chapter, the one that best suits your problem, and don't try 10 new methods at once.

You can use the 10-week structure of the book any time you want to change something in your life or achieve any goal. Some of my students took the course more than once, each time choosing a new test. But if you decide to read the book in its entirety first, enjoy it, and don't try to keep up with the reflections and exercises along the way. Remember what you found most interesting, and then return when you are ready to bring ideas to life.

Let's get started

Here's your first challenge: choose one challenge for the journey into the science of willpower. And I look forward to seeing you in the first chapter: we will go back in time to understand how willpower arose - and how to use it.

Under the microscope: choose your test of willpower

If you haven't already, now is the time to choose a willpower test to which you will apply the ideas and strategies from the book. The following questions will help you identify it:

- A test of strength "I will." Is there something you want to do more than anything, or something you want to stop putting off because you know it will make your life so much easier?

- A test of strength "I won't." What is your most sticky habit? What would you like to get rid of or what would you like to do less frequently because it harms your health, hinders your happiness or success?

- A test of strength "I want." What is your most important long-term goal that you want to dedicate your energies to? What immediate “want” is most likely to seduce you and distract you from that goal?

1. “I will”, “I will not”, “I want”: what is willpower and why is it important

When you think about what requires willpower, what is the first thought that comes to mind? For most of us, the classic test of willpower is temptation, whether it's a donut, a cigarette, or a one-night stand. When people say, "I'm weak-willed," it usually means, "It's hard for me to say no when my mouth, stomach, heart, or... (substitute your body part) wants to say yes." Call it the "I won't" power.

But the ability to say no is only one component of willpower. After all, "just say no" are the three favorite words of bagpipers and couch potatoes from all over the world. Sometimes it's more important to say yes - otherwise, how to do all the things that you put off until tomorrow (or forever)? Willpower helps you put it on your to-do list, even when insecurities, petty worries, or an endless stream of reality TV shows try to convince you. This ability to do what you must, even if some part of your soul does not want it, we will call the power of "I will."

The powers "I will" and "I won't" are two aspects of self-control, but it is not limited to them. Saying yes and no to the right requires a third power: the ability to remember what you really want. I know you feel like you really want a chocolate chip cookie, a third martini, or a day off. But when you face temptation or flirt with slowness, you must remember that what you really want is to fit into tight jeans, get a promotion, pay off your credit card debt, save your marriage, or stay out of jail. Otherwise, what will keep you from momentary desires? To master yourself, you need to know what is truly important to you. This is the power of "I want".

Self-control is the control of the three forces: "I will", "I will not" and "I want" and it helps you achieve your goals (or stay out of trouble). As we shall see, we human beings are the proud owners of brains that support all three functions. In fact, the development of these three forces defines us as a human species. Before we get down to the dirty business of analyzing why we can't use them, let's get a feel for how lucky we are to have them. We will look into the brain and see where the sacrament takes place, as well as learn how we can train willpower. We'll also briefly look at why willpower can be hard to come by and how to bring to bear another unique human ability, self-awareness, so that our endurance never fails.

Where does our will power come from?

Imagine: we have been transported 100 thousand years ago, and you are a brand new Homo sapiens among all the evolved diversity. Yes, I'll wait until you enjoy your protruding thumbs, straight posture, hyoid bone (which allows you to develop some semblance of speech, although I'm sure I can't understand a word). By the way, congratulations: you can make a fire (without starting a fire), as well as draw buffaloes and hippos with advanced stone tools.

A few generations ago, your life tasks were so simple: 1) find lunch; 2) multiply; 3) avoid unexpected encounters with Crocodylus anthropophagus (translated from Latin - "a crocodile that bursts people"). But you grew up in a friendly tribe and depend on other homo sapiens for survival. This means that you have to add "don't make anyone angry in the process" to your list of priorities. Community means cooperation and distribution of resources: you can't just take what you want. If you steal someone's buffalo sandwich or a friend-girlfriend, you can be expelled from the tribe and even killed (don't forget, other Homo sapiens also have sharp stone tools, and your skin is much thinner than a hippopotamus). Moreover, you need a tribe: it takes care of you when you

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sick or injured, and therefore unable to hunt or gather berries. Even in the stone age, the rules for winning friends and influencing people were similar to today: help out when a neighbor needs shelter, share lunch even if you haven't eaten yet, and think twice before saying, "This loincloth is for you." full." In other words, please take care of yourself a little.

It's not just your life at stake. The survival of the entire tribe depends on your ability to choose who to fight (preferably not your own) and whom to marry (not cousins: you need to increase genetic diversity, otherwise your entire tribe will be mowed down by one disease). And if you are lucky enough to find a couple, you are expected to connect for life, and not just once behind a neighboring bush. Yes, as a (nearly) modern person, you have a plethora of new ways to get into trouble thanks to your time-honored eating, aggressive, and sexual instincts.

Thus arose the need for what we now call willpower. In the course of (pre)history, the increasing level of complexity of our social worlds demanded more and more self-control. The need to fit in, cooperate, and maintain long-term relationships has loaded our primitive brain, and it has developed self-control strategies. Modern we are the answer to those long-standing requirements. Our brain made up for what was missing, and voila: we had willpower - the ability to control our impulses, which helped us become people in the full sense of the word.

Why do we need it now

Back to modern life (keep your protruding thumbs to yourself, of course, but you might want to dress up a bit). Willpower has evolved from what distinguishes humans from other animals to what distinguishes humans from one another. We may all be born with the ability to control ourselves, but some use it more than others. People who are better at managing their attention, feelings, and actions are more successful, no matter how you look at it. They are healthier and happier. Close relationships bring them more joy and last longer. They earn more and achieve more in their careers. They are better at coping with stress, resolving conflicts and overcoming adversity. They even live longer. If you compare willpower with other virtues, it will be the highest. Self-control, more than intelligence, predicts success at university (get it, school learning ability test), it contributes more to effective leadership than charisma (sorry, Tony Robbins), and is more important for family happiness than empathy (yes , the secret to a long marriage depends on whether you have learned to keep your mouth shut). If we want to live better, willpower is by no means a bad start. To do this, we will ask our standard brain to stretch a little. So, let's get started: let's see what we have to work with.

Neuroscience "I will", "I will not" and "I want"

Our modern capacity for self-control is the result of a longstanding need to be good neighbors, parents, spouses. But how exactly did the human brain respond to it? It seems to be the development of the prefrontal cortex - a vast area of neural tracts right at the level of the forehead and eyes. For almost the entire evolutionary history, the prefrontal cortex has controlled primarily physical actions: walking, running, grabbing, pushing - this is a kind of primary self-control. In humans, the prefrontal cortex has grown, its connections with other areas of the brain have increased. Of all species we have given area occupies the largest percentage of the entire surface of the brain: this is one of the reasons why your dog does not stock up for a rainy day. As it grew, the prefrontal cortex took on new functions: it began to control what you pay attention to, what you think about, even what you feel. This way she is better able to control what you do.

Robert Sapolsky, a neuroscientist at Stanford University, has shown that the main task of the modern prefrontal cortex is to incline the brain (and therefore you) to “what is harder.” When it's easier to lie on the couch, your prefrontal cortex makes you want to get up and run. When it's easier to say yes to dessert, your prefrontal cortex remembers reasons why it's better to order plain tea instead. And if it's easier to put things off until tomorrow, it's the prefrontal cortex that helps you open the file and work.

The prefrontal cortex is not some kind of gray matter blob: it has three main areas that divide the tasks “I will”, “I will not” and “I want” among themselves. One zone is located in the upper left side and is responsible for the power of "I will." It helps you get started and keep doing boring, difficult, or stressful activities, like staying on the treadmill when you'd rather be in the shower. The right side, on the contrary, is responsible for the power of "I will not" and does not allow all impulses and desires to be followed indiscriminately. You can thank her for the recent time when you wanted to read a text message while driving, but preferred to look at the road. Together, these two areas control what you do.

The third zone, just below and in the center of the prefrontal cortex, keeps track of your goals and aspirations. She decides what you want. The faster her nerve cells fire, the more eagerly you act or resist temptation. This part of the prefrontal cortex remembers what you really want, even when the rest of your brain is yelling, “Eat this! Drink it! Smoke it! Buy it!

Under the microscope: which is harder?

Every test of willpower requires something difficult, like resisting temptation or not standing firm in a tense situation. Imagine that you are facing your challenge. What is the hardest thing? Why is it so hard for you? How do you feel when you imagine yourself in action?

A mind-blowing case of loss of willpower

How important is the prefrontal cortex for self-control? This question can be answered if you find out what happens when it is lost. The most famous case of damage to the prefrontal cortex is the story of Phineas Gage. And I warn you: it bloody story. Better put the sandwich aside.

In 1848, Phineas Gage, at the age of 24, commanded a brigade of railroad workers. His subordinates considered him the best foreman, respected and loved him. Friends and family described him as a calm, even-tempered person. The personal physician, John Martin Harlow, reported that the ward was strong in both body and spirit, "possessed an iron will and steel muscles."

But everything changed on Wednesday, September 13 at 4:30 pm. Gage and his team were clearing the way for construction with explosives. railway between Burlington and Rutland, Vermont. Gage was laying charges. The procedure had already been repeated a thousand times, but suddenly something went wrong. The explosion happened

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too soon, and a meter-long rammer went through Gage's skull. She entered the left cheek, pierced the frontal lobes and landed 30 meters from him, taking with her some amount of gray matter.

You may have imagined that Gage suffered instant death. But no, Gage is not dead. According to eyewitnesses, he did not even pass out. The workers simply put him on a wheelbarrow and pushed him two kilometers to the tavern where he stopped. The doctor carefully patched up Gage, replacing the large fragments of the skull collected from the scene, and stitched him up.

It took Gage more than two months to fully recover physically (perhaps he was hindered in many ways by the radical prescriptions of Dr. Harlow: he prescribed enemas from the fungus that appeared on open areas Gage's brain). But by November 17, the patient was already healed enough to return to his former life. Gage himself stated that he “felt better in every sense” and did not suffer from pain.

Looks like a happy ending. But Gage was unlucky: his story does not end there. The external wounds had healed, but strange things were going on in the brain itself. According to friends and colleagues, Gage's character has changed. Dr. Harlow described the changes in the medical report on the aftermath of the injury:

There seems to be a balance... between mental faculties and animal inclinations. He is impulsive, disrespectful, at times allows himself the worst curses (which he did not differ before), treats friends disrespectfully, does not accept restrictions and advice if they contradict his desires ... invents many plans for the future, but immediately loses interest in them ... In this In a sense, his mind has changed radically, so clearly that friends and acquaintances declare that “this is no longer Gage.

In other words, along with the prefrontal cortex, Gage lost his self-control: the forces of "I will not" and "I will." His iron will, which seemed to be an integral part of his character, was destroyed by a rammer flying through his skull.

Most of us don't have to worry about sudden railroad explosions that rob us of self-control, but there's a little Phineas Gage in everyone. The prefrontal cortex is not as reliable as we would like it to be. Certain states—when we're drunk, sleep-deprived, or simply distracted—repress it and mimic the brain damage that Gage suffered. They make it harder for us to cope with our impulses, even if our gray matter is still safely hidden by the skull. Yes, we are all capable of doing things that are more difficult, but we also have the desire to do exactly the opposite. This impulse must be restrained, but, as we will see, it lives by its own mind.

The problem of two minds

When willpower fails us—we spend too much, we eat too much, we languish, we lose our temper—we may question whether we even have a prefrontal cortex. Of course, it is possible to resist temptation, but that does not mean that we will. It is quite possible that we are able to do today what can be put off until tomorrow, but more often tomorrow wins. You, too, can thank evolution for this sad truth of life. People have evolved, but their brains haven't changed much. Nature prefers to build on what has already been created, rather than start from scratch. Humans needed new skills, but our primitive brain has not been replaced by a completely new model - the system of self-control is jammed on the old system of desires and instincts.

That is, evolution has preserved for us all the instincts that have ever been useful - even if they now promise trouble. It’s good that she also gave a way to cope with the troubles to which we bring ourselves. Take, for example, the delight of junk food into which the taste buds fall. These insatiable gourmets helped people survive when food was scarce and adipose tissue served as insurance. But in modern world fast food, junk food and organic products, we don't need stocks. Being overweight became a health threat rather than a defense, and the ability to abstain from tempting foods proved more important for long-term survival. But because obesity was beneficial to our ancestors, our modern brains still instinctively gravitate towards fatty and sweet foods. Luckily we can use latest system self-control to reject these desires and not climb into the candy box. Yes, we have retained impulses, but we are equipped with control over them.

Neuropsychologists even claim that we have one brain but two minds, or that we have two people living in us. In one form, we act impulsively and seek momentary pleasures, and in the other, we control our impulses and refuse pleasures that distract from long-term goals. Both of these entities are us, and we are torn between them. Sometimes we can be identified with a person who just wants a cookie. This is the essence of the test of will: partly you desire one thing, partly something else. Or your present self wants one thing, and the future self would prefer you to do something completely different. When these two personalities quarrel, one must take precedence over the other. The one who wants to succumb to temptation is not bad - she just has different views on what is more important.

Under the microscope: an introduction to two minds

Every test of willpower is an argument between two sides of the personality. How do they behave at the time of your willpower test? What does the impulsive hypostasis want? And why - wise? Sometimes it is useful to give an impulsive self a name, such as Pechenyushkin if she craves immediate pleasure, or Whine if she likes to complain about everything and everything, or Piper if she never wants to get down to business. This will help you to recognize it when it begins to overwhelm you, and call on the wise self to increase your strong-willed defenses.

The value of both hypostases

It is tempting to imagine the self-control system as an unspeakably higher self, and the more primitive instincts as an unfortunate relic of the evolutionary past. Of course, a long time ago, when we were ankle-deep in mud, our instincts helped us survive so that we could pass on our genes to future generations. But now they interfere with us, lead to illnesses, empty bank accounts and dates for which we have to apologize on TV to the whole country. If only the inclinations of the ancient ancestors did not burden us, civilized beings!

But not so fast. Although our system of survival does not always work in our favor, it is a mistake to believe that we need to fundamentally overcome the primordial self. medical research cases when people lost their instincts due to local brain damage show how important primitive fears and desires are for health, happiness and the same self-control. For example, in order to save her from convulsive seizures, a young woman partially destroyed the midbrain by surgery. She lost her ability to experience fear and disgust, which robbed her of her two most important instinctive sources of self-control. She developed a habit of stuffing herself with food to the point of nausea, and the poor thing also began to unequivocally stick to close relatives. Not a very good example of self-control!

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coming danger. In part, in order to win in willpower trials, you need to find use in primal instincts, and not fight them. Neuroeconomists - scientists who study how the brain behaves when we make decisions - have found that the self-control system and survival instincts do not always conflict. Imagine: you are walking through a department store, and suddenly something interesting catches your eye. Your primitive brain squeals, "Buy this!" You check the price tag: $199.99. Before you saw this insane price, it took a lot of prefrontal cortex intervention to shut down the spending urge. But suddenly the brain registers an instinctive pain response to the price. Studies have shown that this is exactly what happens: the brain can perceive an impressive price tag as a physical blow in the stomach. Instinctive shock eases the work of the prefrontal cortex, and there is almost no need to use the "I won't" force. And since we're going to build willpower, we'll try to figure out how best to use every aspect of our human nature, including our most primitive instincts, from pleasure cravings to the need to fit in, to achieve our goals.

First Rule of Willpower: Know Thyself

Self-control is one of humanity's most wonderful upgrades, but it's not our only pride. We also have self-awareness—the ability to track our activities and understand why we are doing them. Sometimes we even manage to predict our actions, and this is a great opportunity to change our minds. It seems that only humans have this level of self-awareness. Of course, dolphins and elephants recognize themselves in the mirror, but so far no evidence has been found that they look into their souls in attempts to self-knowledge.

Without self-awareness, self-control would be useless. You need to notice when you make a decision that requires willpower, otherwise the brain will default to what is easier. Imagine a smoker who wants to quit bad habit. She needs to catch the slightest manifestations of addiction and imagine what they can lead to (here she is standing outside in the cold and clicking a lighter). She also needs to understand that if she succumbs to temptation this time, then most likely she will smoke tomorrow too. And looking into the future a little further, the girl will see that if she continues in the same spirit, she will receive a bouquet of all those terrible diseases that frightened her at lectures on valeology. To avoid such a fate, she needs to make a conscious choice not to smoke. Without self-awareness, she is doomed.

Everything seems to be simple, but psychologists know that we make most decisions on autopilot, not really understanding what drives us, and certainly without serious thought about the consequences. Hell, most of the time we don't even realize we're making a choice. For example, one study asked people how many food decisions they made during the day. What did they answer? On average, people thought it was 14. But when they were asked to carefully track their decisions, it turned out that the average number of choices was 227. It turns out that initially people did not know about 200-odd cases - and these are just decisions about food. How do you control yourself when you are not aware that you have something to watch?

Modern society, in which something always distracts us and pulls us, will not help us. Baba Shiv, professor of marketing at Stanford high school business, proved that when people are distracted, they are more likely to succumb to temptation. For example, students who are trying to remember a phone number are 50 percent more likely to snack on chocolate muffins instead of fruit. Distracted shoppers are more receptive to in-store advertising and are more likely to take home an unplanned purchase.

When your brain is overloaded, you make decisions based on impulses rather than long-term goals. Are you texting while you're standing in line for coffee? It is quite possible that you will order a mocha instead of an iced coffee (inbox: “I bet you don’t want to think how many calories are in this drink”). All thoughts only about work? You will probably agree with the seller that you need an improved unlimited mobile data plan.

Experiment: track your volitional decisions

To improve self-control, you first need to develop self-awareness. A great first step is to celebrate decisions related to your willpower challenge. Some of them are pretty transparent, like "Do I go to the gym after work?" Others may be less obvious and will require consideration of their implications. Let's say you brought a gym bag so you don't have to go home? (A wise move - you are less likely to get out.) Or are you caught off guard by a long phone call and you are so hungry that you can’t go to class right away? (Eh! It's unlikely you'll go to a workout after dinner.) Track your decisions for at least one day. And in the evening, remember them and try to figure out which elections corresponded to your goals, and which contradicted them. This exercise will also help you not get distracted when you decide something, which will definitely strengthen your willpower.

First Steps to Overcome Email Addiction

Michelle, 31, radio show producer, constantly checking email on computer and phone. This prevented her from working and annoyed her boyfriend, who could never fully capture the attention of his beloved. Michelle set herself the audacious goal of checking her email no more than once an hour. A week later, she reported that she could not even come close to the ideal. She was aware that she was only checking her mail after looking at a few messages, and before that she had acted without thinking. And Michelle chose a more modest task - to track this process.

Over the next week, she learned to notice when she reached for her phone or opened her mailbox. This gave her the opportunity to stop. But the impulses were extremely resourceful. Michelle failed to notice the very urge to check her mail before she found herself doing it. Over time, she began to feel this desire almost like an itch - tension in the body and brain, which passed when she checked the box. The observation startled Michelle: she had never thought that checking her mail was a way to relieve stress for her. She thought she just wanted to be in the know. When she focused on the sensations after the test, she realized that the action was as ineffective as any combing - she wanted to "itch" even more. By realizing her impulse and responding to it, she was able to manage her behavior much better and even surpassed her original goal of checking email less frequently outside of work hours.

This week, watch how you give in to desires. Don't even set goals to improve your self-control just yet. Check if you can catch yourself as early as possible, note what you think

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feel what situations most often cause an impulse. How do you persuade yourself to give in to it?

Train your brain

It took millions of years for evolution to create a prefrontal cortex that can do everything we humans need. We may be greedy speaking, but can we improve our self-control without spending another million years waiting? If initially the human brain is strong in self-control, what can be done now to improve the standard equipment?

From time immemorial, or at least since scientists began to tinker with human brains, it was believed that the structure of the brain is unchanged. This is a done deal, not a project in progress. The brain can change only in one direction - to weaken with age. But over the past decade, neuroscientists have discovered that the brain—like a learner hungry for knowledge—is remarkably responsive to any experience. Ask him to solve problems every day, and he will become stronger in mathematics. Ask him to worry more often and he will become more restless. Ask to focus, and he will become much more attentive.

Your brain will not only learn to perform these tasks better, it will rewire itself to suit your needs. Some areas of the brain will thicken, more gray matter will appear in them - this is how muscles build up from training. For example, adults who learn to juggle accumulate gray matter in areas of the brain that track the movement of objects. In addition, areas of the brain can acquire a large number of connections in order to exchange information faster. For example, in adults who play memory games for 25 minutes a day, the volume of connections between the areas of the brain responsible for attention and memory increases.

But the brain is trained not only to juggle well or remember where you put your glasses: there is a growing scientific evidence that self-control can also be improved in this way. What does willpower training look like for the brain? Well, you can test the power of "I won't" by setting temptation traps around the house: candy bars in your sock drawer, a martini minibar by your exercise bike, and hanging a picture of your happily married high school sweetheart on the fridge. You can build your own obstacle course for the power of "I will" with points where you have to drink wheatgrass juice, do 20 push-ups and pay your bills on time.

Or you can do something simpler and less brutal - meditate. Neuroscientists have found that when you ask your brain to meditate, it not only learns how to meditate better, it also learns a whole range of important self-control skills, including mindfulness, concentration, stress management, impulse control, and self-awareness. People who meditate regularly aren't just more successful in these areas. Over time, their brain begins to work like a well-oiled will machine. They have more gray matter in the prefrontal cortex and in areas of the brain responsible for self-awareness.

You don't have to meditate all your life to change your brain. Scientists have tried to figure out what is the minimum useful meditative dose (my students appreciate this approach to business: few people are ready to sit in a Himalayan cave for ten years). For the experiments, they chose people who had never meditated before - and were even skeptical about the idea. They were taught simple meditation techniques like the one you will soon learn. In one experiment, after just three hours of meditation practice, people improved their focus and self-control. After 11 hours, scientists tracked changes in the brain. Beginner yogis have strengthened neural connections between the areas of the brain that are responsible for concentration and control over impulses. In another study, eight weeks of daily meditation practice led to an increase in self-awareness in everyday life and an increase in gray matter in the corresponding areas of the brain.

It's amazing how quickly our brains change. Meditation increases blood flow to the prefrontal cortex in much the same way that lifting weights increases blood flow to muscles. The brain adapts to exercise like a muscle, growing larger and faster to better do what is required of it. And if you are ready to start training, this meditation technique will provide blood flow to your prefrontal cortex - which means that we will succeed in the good work of accelerating evolution and benefiting more from the capabilities of the brain.

Experiment: Five Minute Meditation to Train Your Brain

Focusing on your breath is a simple yet powerful meditation technique that will train your brain and increase your willpower. It reduces tension and trains the mind to deal with distractions from within (desires, anxieties, desires) and from outside (sounds, sights, smells). According to the latest research, regular meditation practice helps people quit smoking, lose weight, stop drugs, and stop drinking. Whatever your challenges of the "I will" and "I won't" powers are, this five-minute meditation will definitely come in handy.

So let's get started:

1. Sit quietly and don't fidget

Sit on a chair with the soles of your feet fully touching the floor, or cross your legs on a cushion. Sit up straight, put your hands on your knees. It is very important not to fidget during meditation - this physical basis self-control. If you feel the urge to scratch or change the position of your arms or legs, notice the urge, but don't give in to it. From this simple condition - a motionless posture - partly depends on the success of volitional training. You learn not to follow every impulse your mind or body sends you on autopilot.

2. Focus on your breath

Close your eyes or, if you are afraid to fall asleep, just focus your eyes on one point (on an empty wall, not on an online store website). Start tracking your breath. Silently say "inhale" and "exhale" to yourself as you inhale and exhale. When you notice that you have gone into your thoughts (and you will), just return to your breath. This practice of constantly returning to the breath strengthens the prefrontal cortex and calms the stress and drive centers.

3. Notice Your Breathing Feelings and Extraneous Thoughts

After a couple of minutes, stop saying "inhale" and "exhale" to yourself. Just focus on the sensations of the breath. Feel the air flow in and out through your nostrils and mouth. Feel your stomach and chest expand as you inhale and deflate as you exhale. Perhaps you are again distracted by your thoughts. As before, when you notice extraneous thoughts, direct your attention to your breath. If this is difficult, repeat "inhale" and "exhale" to yourself several times. This part of the practice trains self-awareness and self-control.

Start with five minutes a day. When it becomes a habit, increase the time to 10 or 15 minutes a day. If it becomes a burden, go back to five minutes. A daily short workout is better than a long practice that you put off every day until tomorrow. It may be more convenient to set a specific time for meditation, for example, before the morning shower. If this is not possible, be flexible - meditate when you can.

Failure in meditation is good for self-control

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he seemed to meditate disgustingly. This 41-year-old electrical engineer was convinced that the purpose of meditation was to get rid of all thoughts so that the head became empty. But even when he seemed to focus entirely on his breathing, extraneous thoughts still crept into his mind. He was ready to give up the practice because he wasn't progressing as fast as he expected, and he decided he was wasting his time because he couldn't concentrate perfectly.

Most beginners make this mistake, but in truth it is the “failures” in meditation that make the practice effective. I advised Andrew—and the rest of the despondent meditators in the audience—not to pay attention to how successful they were in concentrating during meditation, but to how their focus and decision-making changed throughout the following day.

Andrew found that although he was constantly distracted during meditation, he was more focused after the exercise, in contrast to the days when he shied away from training. He understood: in ordinary life he lacked exactly what he did during meditation: he needed to notice when he deviated from the goal, and return to it (only in meditation, the goal is breathing).

Meditation was the perfect technique for holding back and ordering healthy food. She also helped when he was ready to make a caustic remark, but he had to hold his tongue. This technique was perfect for spotting when he was idling at work when he needed to get down to business. All day long, self-control caught when he was off track and brought him back to his goal. Realizing this, Andrew no longer worried that during the entire ten-minute meditation he was distracted by extraneous things. The "worse" meditation, the better it responded to everyday life, because he was able to track when thoughts took him far away.

The point of meditation is not to get rid of all thoughts. It teaches you how not to get lost in them and not forget what your goal is. Don't worry if you get distracted while meditating. Just come back to the breath again and again.

The structure of modern human brain has endowed each of us with multiple personalities that compete for control over our thoughts, feelings, and actions. Any test of willpower is a battle between different hypostases. In order for the higher self to win, it is necessary to strengthen the systems of self-awareness and self-control. When we achieve this, we will find in ourselves the willpower and the power of "I want" to do what is more difficult.

Chapter summary

Key Thought: Willpower is made up of three forces: “I will”, “I won’t” and “I want” – they help us to become better.

under the microscope

– What is more difficult? Imagine yourself at the moment of testing, when you do what is difficult for you. Why is it difficult?

- Acquaintance with two minds. Describe your two opposing personalities at a moment of willpower testing. What does the impulsive hypostasis want? And why - wise?

Experiments

- Track your volitional decisions. For at least one day, try to make a mental note of every decision you make in connection with your test of willpower.

– Five-minute meditation to train the brain. Focus on your breath by saying "inhale" and "exhale" to yourself. When you start to wander in other thoughts, notice it and return to the breath.

2. Willpower Instinct: Your Body Is Born to Resist Cakes

It all starts with a flash of excitement. The brain is buzzing, the heart is pounding in the chest. Your very body seems to be singing, “Yes!” And then the alarm hits. Lungs contract, muscles tense. You feel dizzy and slightly nauseous. You are almost trembling - so you want it. But you can't. But you want. But you can't! You know what to do, but you are not sure if you will manage, if you will not lose your composure.

Read this book in its entirety by purchasing the full legal version (http://www.litres.ru/kelli-makgonigal/sila-voli-kak-razvit-i-ukrepit-3/?lfrom=279785000) on Litres.

Jalaladdin Rumi, 13th century Persian Sufi poet.

This distortion extends beyond willpower. For example, people who believe that they can easily do several things at the same time are more easily distracted by extraneous stimuli than others. This phenomenon is known as the Dunning-Kruger effect and was first reported by two psychologists at Cornell University. They found that people overestimate various abilities, such as a sense of humor, literacy, and judgment. This effect is most pronounced in people whose skills are particularly weak: those whose test scores fall in the 12th percentile tend to rate themselves in the 62nd percentile on average. This explains, among other things, the high volume of talent show auditions.

The Scholastic Aptitude Test is a standardized test for university admissions. educational establishments US, used along with GPA, assesses general literacy and math ability. Note. per.

Researchers say: anything that “prevents consumers from thinking leads to more spontaneous purchases. Retailers … benefit from gimmicks that distract people from their thoughts, like music or billboards on the sales floor.” This, no doubt, explains the chaos that meets me in the local pharmacy.

End of introductory segment.

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Once I decided to conduct a survey among readers about whether they are leading, and if not, what is stopping them?

The results were unexpected. I guessed that most of the readers of my blog are engaged in fitness and monitor their health, but the answers “no”, I confess, surprised me. Among the answer options were logical reasons: lack of time and lack of knowledge about how. Three people explicitly stated that they did not need it.

These two answers can be combined into one, since they both rely on the same mechanisms. Laziness, lack of concentration, lack of self-control and concentration are largely due to the chemical processes taking place in our body. And a person who knows how to direct these processes in right direction will be able to achieve great success in life.

On this blog you can find articles on how to develop willpower:,. Previously, I treated the concept of “willpower” as a certain feature of our psyche, our way of thinking. Kelly McGonigal's book willpower. How to develop and strengthen ”turned all my ideas about willpower and made me look at this issue from a different angle - from the point of view of physiology. This book talks about how our volitional qualities and self-control depend on the processes occurring inside our body, and how to manage these processes.

Willpower book. How to develop and strengthen

Kelly McGonigal is a professor at Stanford University, Ph.D., who has spent many years studying the connection between our volitional qualities and our physiology. In addition to her research and teaching courses at the university, Kelly teaches yoga classes for stress relief and pain relief. After Willpower, I read two of her other books - Antipain, about meditative techniques for relieving pain, and Good Stress as a Way to Get Stronger, about taking advantage of stressful situations. But Willpower. How to Develop and Strengthen ”is her main book, which brought Kelly world fame. In Russia, it was released by the MIF publishing house in 2012.

If you want to know more about Kelly McGonigal, her life and work, I advise you to read.

From most similar books on self-development, the book “Willpower. How to develop and strengthen” differs in that it is completely built on the results of scientific research. At the end of the book, Kelly provides several dozen pages with links to scientific work used in writing the book. This is a monumental work.

In this article, I want to highlight some of the most important points from the book, but I advise you to read it in its entirety. Even if you do not experience problems with making volitional decisions, the book will be useful for you. general development and understanding how people actually work.

What is willpower?

According to McGonigal, willpower (or self-control) is the human ability to control three forces that govern all our actions and desires:

"I won't"- the ability to say "no", a component of willpower, which is usually perceived as willpower in general. When you try to resist eating junk cake, buying a trinket, smoking a cigarette, or giving in to any other temptation, you are manifesting the power of "I won't."
"I will" — back side the previous force that allows us to do what we need to do with a willful decision. Force yourself to work, do exercises, clean the room or do any other unpleasant, uninteresting, but useful thing - a manifestation of the power of "I will."
"I want"- the third force, reflecting what is really important to you. It manifests itself in those moments when you step back from your important life goals for the sake of momentary temptations. For example, with a cake, if the power of “I won’t” puts pressure on the fact that you can’t eat it, because it harms the body, and they get fat from it, then “I want” makes you refuse yummy because you want something to achieve something: to please another person, to fit into old jeans, to look good in a photo.

Where did willpower come from?

In the book "Willpower. How to develop and strengthen "Kelly talks about how people got strong-willed qualities.

The fact is that Willpower is unique to humans, and it appeared hundreds of thousands of years ago as a survival mechanism that pushes us to make the right decisions.

As you know, evolutionary selection leaves only the strongest alive, and if in the wild the first people (like animals) had to trust their instincts in everything, then with the advent of human society more complex needs came to the fore. To survive among his own kind, a person had to learn to control selfish instincts and develop qualities that help in the long run: the ability to cooperate, build relationships, take care of himself, control his impulses. The need to make decisions consciously, and not instinctively, in many ways, made us real people.

In our time, willpower in the same way allows us to bypass weaker people and occupy high place in life. Strong-willed people are healthier, happier, earn more and achieve more success in their careers, have stronger relationships, cope better with stress and problems, and resolve conflicts more easily. According to the book "Willpower. How to develop and strengthen”, self-control in learning is higher than intelligence, in family matters it plays a greater role than sensitivity, and in relationships it is more important than charisma.

In the human body there is an organ responsible, among other things, for willpower. This is the perfrontal cortex, the largest area of the brain. In the perfrontal cortex, there are three main areas associated with self-control: "I will" is located in the upper left part, "I will not" - in the right, "I want" - a little lower and closer to the center. It is this part of the brain that allows us to control ourselves and make the right decisions. There are cases when, with injuries to the anterior part of the brain, people remained alive, but almost completely lost the ability to control their actions - they began to commit stupid (from the point of view of society) and rash acts, to behave rudely, selfishly and aggressively.

So, any processes occurring in the perfrontal cortex affect our level of self-control. Our task is to use them for good in order to develop and strengthen willpower.

Strength of will. How to develop and strengthen?

There are at least thirteen properties of willpower, knowing and using which, you can pump your self-control to the maximum:

2. Meditation. Regular meditation increases blood flow to the perfrontal cortex in much the same way that lifting weights increases blood flow to muscles. As a result, the cortex adapts, increasing and accelerating its work - and, therefore, self-control increases.

3. Deep breathing. When the brain "turns on" the instincts, our heart rate accelerates, and our breathing quickens. Conversely, deep slow breathing allows you to focus and raise your will above instincts. Therefore, when you need to stop the internal struggle and make a strong-willed decision, breathe as slowly and deeply as possible for some time - self-control will return.