Absolute calm is the state of our body, which is considered to be the norm. With it, a person is relaxed, can fully control himself, adequately assess the situation, comprehend what is happening and make informed decisions. Not all people have such calmness, especially in non-standard situations. life situations including during communication. Thus, the question arises, how to stop being nervous when communicating and learn to control yourself? Our tips will help solve this problem.
The words "no need to be nervous" are good for bringing a person into a normal state of rabies.
Stas Yankovsky
Where does nervousness come from?
Nervousness occurs when irritants appear. They can be different, but as soon as they begin to affect a person, the latter loses concentration and all his mental and physical energy is turned towards these very stimuli, which switch all attention to themselves.At the same time, a priori, nervous excitement cannot be considered a 100% deviation from the norm. On the contrary, it is necessary for a person to recognize positive or negative situations in life and react to them or avoid them. But since it can be difficult and uncomfortable to stop being nervous in communication, it is important to be able to get rid of tension.
The response to nerve stimuli must always be adequate. If nervousness is excessive, then it already becomes a serious problem. Nervous tension turns into stress, and entails serious consequences on the mental and physiological level.
For whom is excessive nervousness dangerous?
Young people are most susceptible to nervousness, because their psyche is not yet able to cope with everyday stresses. But even at a young age, there are people who are easier and easier to endure problem situations, and there are those whose nervous system is overly vulnerable. It is this category of people who most often experiences problems in relationships with other people, communication, self-realization.Communication is a fundamental process in the formation of a personality, a necessary condition for any development. That is why excessive nervousness and embarrassment in communicating with others is a serious problem, due to which misunderstanding arises, the inability to concentrate on the subject of discussion, the lack of satisfaction from the conversation and, as a result, the narrowing of the circle of communication.
IN early age such a situation is regarded as natural, but over time, if the problem persists, the difficulties are aggravated and a person cannot harmoniously integrate into society, realize himself, develop. That is why it is important to take care of reducing nervousness, up to completely getting rid of it.
Why do we get nervous when communicating?
The reasons for this condition may be different. Nervousness appears when we are just making an acquaintance and do not know the person with whom we are to communicate. There is a natural situation of fear of being rejected or misunderstood.
This moment of nervous excitement lasts only for a while, until we get used to a stranger and determine common interests. If for some people this slightest stress can pass completely without a trace, then people with a more vulnerable psyche continue to perceive a person with some apprehension and this becomes an obstacle in conversation.
The next reason for nervousness may be the status of the person with whom you should communicate. If we have to talk with the boss, a strict father, a man or woman for whom we do not feel sympathy. Each of them causes you certain emotions - irritants that can lead to tension, fear or embarrassment.
How to stop being nervous?
Of course, no one will give you a universal recipe for how to stop being nervous when communicating. If there is a problem, then it is necessary to deal with it comprehensively and understand the cause. Often it lies precisely in the fact that a person is afraid of being misunderstood or rejected.A self-sufficient, self-confident person who knows how to listen and also knows how to clearly convey his thoughts to the interlocutor, no matter what he may be, will certainly never encounter the problem of nervousness during communication. That is why you need to work on yourself, be open to other people and expand your circle of acquaintances in order to gain experience in various situations in communication and be able to respond to them.
It is also important to be able to evoke positive emotions in the interlocutor and are not afraid to be misunderstood or rejected. In this case, you can easily communicate on different topics without experiencing any difficulties and without being subjected to any stress. Well, if any arise, then you either stop communicating with the person, or reduce it to a minimum.
It is important to understand that we cannot please everyone without exception. Some people are more active in communication, more open and interested in new acquaintances, while others are closed and prefer to discuss less.
A few rules to help reduce nervousness:
- With whomever you have to communicate, always remember the purpose of the conversation.
- Know how to listen to the interlocutor and always give him the opportunity to speak.
- Find something in common and try to show a sincere interest in the area of the interlocutor's life that is somehow interesting to you.
- Don't be afraid to ask questions, even if you don't know what to ask.
- Be attentive to topics that are incomprehensible to you and even more unpleasant, no matter how much you want to succeed in communicating with the person you need.
- Never impose on people who do not show any initiative in communication.
Work on yourself
Always be prepared to communicate. In order to enjoy communication, you yourself must have enough interests, comprehensively developed. By reducing the number of topics you don't understand, you can easily find the subject of discussion and talk to people. different ages. This way, there will be no place for nervousness, and you will be able to calmly share your knowledge.
Do not allow empty talk, chatter and gossip. Try to share knowledge, experience, ideas. If a person is pleasant to you and your sympathy is mutual, unrest and embarrassment during communication will disappear. Take advantage of this!
Video: How to overcome fears in communication?
How to stop being shy
Shyness in one way or another is characteristic of every person. However, if your shyness is a stable character trait, and, moreover, interferes with you, then you need to immediately start fighting it. Otherwise, such increased shyness can lead to the fact that your life plans may be violated.First of all, you need to deal with the reasons for your shyness. Think about what you don’t like about yourself, and what caused you to be embarrassed? No matter how difficult the problem is, it is solvable. If it's about your appearance, it's as easy as shelling pears. Change your wardrobe and hairstyle.
If it is a matter of mild speech defects, then only a specialist will help you cope with this. If you consider yourself a boring conversationalist (or, worse, they tell you about it in plain text), then reading can help you - stay up to date with the news, and it will be much easier for you.
If you don’t see any direct reason for shyness, then most likely you are just used to considering yourself shy. Here a kind of psychological “fitting” on yourself the image of a self-confident person can help you. Start to lead confidently and openly at home. Practice walking. Give a speech (you can do it yourself, there are a lot of tutorials on the net). Over time, you will feel that you are able to behave just as confidently around others.
You can take for yourself as an example one of your acquaintances, if you consider his behavior to be rather relaxed. Carefully study how this person behaves in various situations, and try to copy his behavior - you certainly don’t need to be ashamed of this. This is the case when imitation will only benefit you.
Video: How to stop being nervous? 10 proven ways
There is another psychological technique. Find an even more closed person than you, and try to lead over him. That is, to become his leader, who will help him become more confident. This practice will help you to become more confident in yourself and to pull up your friend.
Another method is to imagine the most Negative consequences from their own actions (or inaction). What is so terrible that will happen if you are refused or rude? Get ready for things to go wrong and relax about it. In the end, acceptance will help you deal with resentment more easily, and you will become more confident in yourself.
Anxiety and stress, even the most minor, but regular, are harbingers of serious health problems.
And the phrase “all diseases are from nerves” can be called quite justified.
So how to calm down and not be nervous, how to protect yourself from the constant pressure of fears and anxiety? How to maintain your health and stop being constantly nervous, teach yourself to be calm?
Why does anxiety arise?
A person begins to get nervous only through the fault of himself, when he overly "winds" the importance of some events. To stop being annoyed, to find inner and outer peace is a serious work on oneself, which is carried out constantly.
It will not be possible to achieve results in this matter with lightning speed. However, there are certain quick-acting techniques and techniques that will teach you not to get irritated and quickly calm down in stressful situations. But more on that below.
What is anxiety and how does it manifest itself? First, it is a collection of unpleasant physiological processes(a person begins to choke, freak out, sweat, lose consciousness).
Secondly, you need to understand that the state of anxiety is a useless and vain experience that prevents a full life and is not a natural state of the body. When a person is nervous and irritated, he cannot keep life in his hands, loses control over it, and therefore:
- The direction of life is lost. Achieving goals becomes impossible, as the fear of failure suppresses and weakens.
- A person seeks to calm down through easily accessible means. Often harmful: alcohol, cigarettes, tonic or sedative drugs.
- Decreased brain performance. The body spends all the resources on anxiety and nervousness, the concentration of attention falls, and the performance of assigned work or other tasks becomes ineffective.
- The stress to which the body is subjected leads to severe fatigue. Exhaustion and, as a result, diseases.
- The person loses control over their behavior. Facial expressions, gestures, voice, intonations, which leads to social collapse (failure of negotiations, failures on dates due to this problem).
To understand how to calm down and stop being nervous, you need to identify what, in fact, is why you can no longer maintain control over your life. Why are you constantly in a lot of tension, what exactly irritates you, makes you worry and get nervous?
It's all about needs
From point of view scientific psychology in order to stop freaking out and getting annoyed over little things that gradually develop into major problems, you need to determine in which area the cause of irritation lies.
There are six such areas in total, each of which can become a significant reason for disturbing a person’s peace of mind if he is overly obsessed:
1. Egocentrism. The basis of this need is the need for approval, recognition, if you take the extreme - in adoration, admiration.
It is on the verge of this extreme that a person becomes overly sensitive to criticism in his direction, which leads to anxiety, makes him nervous and irritated. For example, the disapproving look of a complete stranger or the dissatisfaction of a waitress in a cafe, who is rude at the checkout with disdain.
2. Love for pleasure. Excessive craving for pleasure makes a person lazy and irritable when it comes to business and duties. And he will not calm down, will not find harmony until his need for pleasure and entertainment is satisfied.
3. Passion for perfectionism. A person forgets that perfection is, in principle, unattainable. And he begins to get nervous for any reason: he becomes unfair to himself, relatives, colleagues or subordinates, and therefore constantly experiences stress and cannot control himself.
4. Too much independence. People who come to the conclusion that they cannot fit into any framework, sooner or later begin to experience minor irritations that develop into neuroses. They are caused by a normalized work schedule, schedules of institutions, etc.
5. Excessive love for speed. This means the daily race to try to do everything. It is often extreme to fail to realize that the work should be done gradually, and not in two days without sleep.
Failure to complete the task at hand in one "set" can lead to intense anxiety and irritation. And then you will increasingly begin to be tormented by the question of how not to be nervous at work.
6. Excessive need for intimacy. Such people tend to turn all relationships into excessively warm ones, including working ones. Such people cannot understand that some prefer to keep communication with business partners and colleagues within the framework of office etiquette.
Knowing the basis of the causes of irritability and anxiety, you can understand how to calm down. And in general, how to stop being nervous over trifles, which in the end can lead to serious problems with physical and mental health.
What other reasons could there be?
The needs listed above are mainly related to such a large area human life, How's your work. Although some of them, such as self-centeredness and the need for excellence, extend far beyond the workplace.
There are a huge number of reasons and reasons for fear, irritation and anxiety. There are more than 200 types of phobias alone.
But the most basic fear that makes us nervous and worried every day is the fear of error or failure. We worry that we will look stupid, that we will waste time and energy in vain.
To stop being nervous and calm down will help the recognition to oneself: “I am nervous, I begin to depend on fear, to suffocate from anxiety!”. This will be a sure step on the road to acquiring inner harmony and tranquility.
Stop freaking out - start living!
So how do you learn not to be nervous and not to be afraid to make a mistake? How to find peace, harmony with yourself and the world around you?
There are many complex techniques that have been practiced by psychologists and psychotherapists for years. Based on them, we can highlight the main recommendations and tips on how to calm down, proven by time and experience.
The best thing for this is ... Regular pen and paper! The essence of this psychological reception It consists in dividing problems into those that you can solve and those that you cannot solve on your own.
The first are written in one column, the second - in another. Thus, a person identifies factors that make him irritated and nervous, and can already consciously approach their elimination.
“If the problem can be solved, don't worry about it. If the problem is unsolvable, there is no point in worrying about it.” Dalai Lama
This technique requires a certain amount of time and complements the first tip on how to stop being nervous over trifles. Recorded problems should be reviewed every 2-3 weeks and noted which of the fears have become a reality.
After 4-6 months, what did not come true will no longer seem possible. By this method, you can teach your mind not to be afraid of obviously unjustified fears.
Love physical activity. Sit less, move more.
Unused energy, especially in the case of mental and sedentary work in the office, can go down a "harmful" path and lead to obsession with fears. Sport is the best prevention of such a loop, it is where you can find real peace.
However, sports are different sports. In order to most effectively deal with irritation and the constant thought “Well, I'm nervous again!”, It is necessary to correctly combine active sports with relaxation exercises. Yoga, meditation and breathing exercises will help you best.
This word refers to everything that makes you create and create. Embroidery, drawing, modeling, inventing jokes - anything. But an important rule: it should be interesting to you.
It is especially good if you divide the types of creativity according to needs.
The following hobbies will help you calm down:
- For those who are always in a hurry. Working with small details, which a priori cannot be done in one sitting (embroidering large paintings, collecting large models, designers, growing plants can teach calmness).
- For those who are overly absorbed in self-love. You should start caring for other people and animals.
- For perfectionists, drawing in an abstract style can be a salvation. Creating amorphous sculptures can teach that the view of perfection can be different.
- For those who love freedom, the best option may be to get a pet, best of all - a dog. You will have to walk with her, you will need to take care of her.
- In pursuit of pleasure, any hobby that requires a lot of time will help.
- For those who are looking for intimate relationships with everyone, one of the options for a hobby that will help calm down is acting. It will be able to teach that in the world there is not one single role of a kind of "universal friend."
How to stop being nervous for any reason? Walking relaxes, calms, takes you out of your comfort zone, leaving little time for worries.
There is no medicine better than a relaxing walk through a beautiful park with your favorite tunes in your player's headphones! Problems are solved, and irritation recedes when you begin to devote more time to yourself and your interests.
How to cope with yourself in a stressful situation?
It is often necessary to remain calm and not freak out here and now. Indeed, you can stop being annoyed and learn to overcome anxiety even in the most difficult situation.
Among the effective express ways of how to stop being nervous for any reason, we can name the following:
- If you understand that you are starting to get annoyed, suffocate, lose control of yourself, immediately stop dialogue with the “irritant” or engage in an annoying business. Leave the room for a few minutes.
- If this is not possible, close your eyes and admit mentally "I'm nervous for nothing." Count slowly to ten, inhaling deeply and exhaling. Imagine a cloud of smoke inside you, which is your aggression. Imagine that with each exhalation, this cloud comes out through the mouth, nose and ears, becomes smaller and evaporates.
- Pour yourself some water. Preferably a full glass. And slowly, stretching, drink everything to the bottom, convincing yourself "I begin to calm down and realize the small significance of what is happening."
- Get distracted by the little things. Look at the flowers arranged in the office, at the expression on the faces of colleagues, at the outfit of the secretary. Think "I'm starting to calm down." When you close your eyes for a few seconds, it becomes easier.
- Do exercises, quickly run up the stairs, walk around the office back and forth, start doing some other exercises. As mentioned above, physical activity is one of the best relaxants. Even minimal.
- If possible, find contact with water. Washing dishes, contemplating a pond, an artificial waterfall, a fountain in the corner of the office or in a nearby park. Water is relaxing. It is a fact.
- Think about what is worse for someone. That things could be so much worse with you. Admit to yourself, "I'm nervous about the little things."
- Find the benefits in the current situation. Everything has its pluses, you just need to start noticing them, paying less attention to the minuses.
- Laugh. This will help you calm down. If you are in the office, go to the toilet and laugh while looking at yourself in the mirror for 5-7 minutes.
- If laughter did not help, then you can cry. Tears are one of the most powerful releases of tension. After them, the soul always becomes a little easier.
In the above tips, anyone will find the answer to the question of how not to be nervous over trifles. Start living a calm, happy and fulfilling life. Everyone can learn to go to the goal without irritation and anxiety.
And you don't have to be afraid to do so. It must be kept in a cage with massive rods. When you become stronger than him, you will stop being annoyed and nervous for any reason.
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They have always been and remain an integral part of human life. It is difficult not to meet someone who would not be subject to this today, and destructive mental states are considered an absolute norm in our time. Mental pressure surrounds us everywhere: at work, in stores, at the cinema, in public transport, in traffic jams, in queues, etc. Even at home, where there are extremely close and dear people to us, we are daily exposed to the influence of stressful situations and concerns of various kinds.
But if some people can calmly experience them, then for others they can turn into chronic ones. And now it’s no secret to anyone that chronic worries can cause a bad mood, a predominance of negative emotions, mental, emotional and physiological ailments (read how to get rid of all this). It is also known that in order to become chronic, anxiety must simply systematically overcome a person over a certain period of time. As a result, worries and worries can completely ruin a person's life so that it becomes rather an existence filled with suffering. The issue of getting rid of worries and worries is very relevant, and one cannot but agree with this.
To date, a huge amount of literature of completely different quality has been devoted to the problem of getting rid of anxiety. Someone writes dubious pamphlets that contain “super effective” recommendations for getting rid of anxiety - such pamphlets are written, as a rule, by absolute amateurs and only for the purpose of obtaining financial gain. But there are really worthwhile works, the creation of which was devoted to sleepless nights and countless hours of painstaking work by the best of people, whose intentions can be considered truly good, because they show a sincere desire to help people and make their lives better.
One of these people is Dale Carnegie - the world famous American psychologist, teacher and writer, who stood at the origins of the theory of communication. This person was able to translate theoretical developments psychologists of his era (the first half of the 20th century) into the field of practical application.
Dale Carnegie developed his own concept of conflict-free communication, many courses on self-improvement, effective communication skills, speaking, and others, among which the art of harmonious living deserves special attention. The books of this man won great fame all over the world during his lifetime, but even today they remain very popular and in demand.
Today we will talk about the book by Dale Carnegie called "". To be more precise, we will not talk about the book itself, but about the tips contained in it to improve life, which absolutely anyone can successfully put into practice. After conducting a lot of research in the field, and giving them long years work, Dale Carnegie was able to formulate special principles, following which people can stop worrying about anything in their lives, and nullify all their worries.
In How to Stop Worrying and Start Living? the author invites readers to use his ideas, which he not only supports with theory, but also accompanies with examples from real life. There are a lot of tips in the book, but we offer you only a small part of them.
According to the author, the first and most important thing that a person should know about anxiety is that in order to oust anxiety from his life, it is necessary to distinguish between the past and the future with all his might. Carnegie proposes to install "iron doors" between them, thus creating the "sealed compartments" of today. It is necessary to live in the present, not regretting the past and not worrying about the future. Otherwise, past experiences and thoughts of hope will create anxiety and worry.
If a person is faced with situations that are associated with excitement and anxiety, he should resort to the so-called "magic" formula of the American inventor Willis Carrier, which is as follows:
- You need to ask yourself the question: “What is the worst thing that can happen to me?”
- Accept this "worst" in advance and put up with it if the need arises
- Calmly think about ways in which you can change the situation
A person should always bear in his mind the idea that worry and anxiety cause great harm to his health, which cannot be compensated for by anything. As an example, Dale Carnegie cites the claim that many business people who cannot deal with their worries die very early. And this is true, because anxiety makes a person nervous, and the nerve cells of the body, although they are restored, are not so easy and fast. The more a person worries, the less life remains for him. Remember this!
In order for a person to be overcome by worries, worries and anxieties as little as possible, he must develop in himself a special frame of mind that can bring peace and happiness. To develop such a mindset is possible with the help of positive and cheerful thinking, cheerful behavior and the very feeling of joy from life. It is necessary to strive to ensure that positive notes prevail in feelings and thoughts. No wonder it is said that the mental impulses of a person have a formative effect on his life.
One of the main causes of concern is the lack of employment. If a person does nothing and his thoughts are not busy with anything, consciousness itself can begin to generate restless thoughts that cause anxiety. If you want to get rid of anxiety, load yourself with some activity. Intensive work and employment are the best medicines that can drive out the "demons" of despondency and anxiety from the human mind.
Anxiety is a bad habit that you need to get rid of. But get rid of bad habit the best way is to replace it with . Stop getting upset over petty annoyances and trifles - this will be yours. new habit. Imagine the little troubles as tiny ants that destroy your happiness, and feel no regrets getting rid of them.
Have you ever heard of the Law big numbers? If not, read about it online. This Law is the best way to expel worries and anxieties from your life. How to apply it? Just ask yourself the question more often: “How likely is it that the event that bothers me will happen to me at all?” According to the Law of Large Numbers, this probability is negligible.
Many people experience suffering and continue to worry even when something unpleasant has already happened. Do not make this mistake - learn to reckon with the inevitable. This means that if you know that you cannot change or correct the situation or circumstances, you need to take it for granted, say to yourself: “It must be this way and nothing else” and calm down.
To gain control over your worries, you need to set their "limiter", which will regulate the level of your anxiety. Setting a “limiter” means simply deciding for yourself what degree of concern this or that event in your life deserves. Set a limit that you must never go beyond, and don't let your anxiety overcome it.
Anxiety overcomes a person when he is overly concentrated on his person. To neutralize anxiety, you need to forget about yourself and show more interest in the people around you. Every day you can do some kind deed in relation to even a stranger. Let it seem unusual and difficult, but the result will justify itself with a vengeance.
As you can see, Dale Carnegie's advice is very easy to apply. The only effort that needs to be made in order for them to begin to give tangible results is to make a firm decision to restructure your thinking in a positive way, to finally stop worrying and start living!
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How to stop being nervous? Rather, it’s worth figuring out not how to stop worrying at all, turning into an insensitive mummy, but how to stop being nervous about every occasion, strengthening your nerves and minimizing energy costs. Everyone chooses their own way, someone tries to heroically solve an endless stream of problems, and someone pretends that it is not his eye that is already twitching. But the beauty is that no matter how much you hide from nervous and problematic situations, no matter how much you make fun of them, this will give a temporary effect of relief without solving the main task of eliminating the root cause.
Meanwhile, he continues to worry about unresolved issues, i.e. background anxiety remains, and a lump of problems grows, and when the strength to pretend ends, a person is faced with the scale of the tragedy, which makes one no longer nervous, but fall into. The desire to resolve all annoying issues is more effective, but the problems do not end there and issues that require intervention arise daily, not to mention annoying factors and people.
How to Stop Worrying and Become Calm
For some people, the question of how to stop being nervous and worried is the most relevant in the living space, usually for such individuals all things are important and urgent, the future is filled with worries, because it is unknown, and there is not enough time in the present. constant anxiety does not provide an opportunity for relaxation, because when one problem is solved, another one immediately appears, and calm corners, where no one would ruffle the nerves, ended.
It is a long and hard work to determine with your system of priority goals in order to solve problems that are important now (i.e. if the cutlets are burned, then save the rest of the meat and ventilate the kitchen, and not about the quarterly report, the nerves about which and led to the burnt cutlets). Thinking about the past shouldn't take long either, especially negative experiences where you scroll through the conversation and pick up new answers if these are situations where you keep getting nervous about your reputation - all of which spins the nervous system, leading to its instability. At the same time, you cannot change these events, but you still have time to harm what is happening in the present moment with your semi-absent state and bad mood, triggering the reasons for experiences in a circle. So the conscious presence in the present moment of one's life is the key to an adequate and full-fledged sense of life, removing unnecessary empty experiences regarding unchanging things or possible, but not occurred events.
To figure out how to stop being nervous and worried, you should understand the mechanism of the emergence of such a worldview. Usually, a person’s habit of winding up his negative emotional state, exaggerating the significance of minor troubles, is behind the increased. To become calmer, you will have to not just swallow tranquilizers, but to carry out serious intrapersonal transformations that require both external lifestyle changes and internal ones that affect motivational sphere and the ability to concentrate, to determine the important.
For peace of mind, it is necessary to eliminate the causes of anxiety, and they cannot always be expressed by external factors in the form of annoying neighbors or constant incidents at work, since this happens in everyone's life. Rather speech it is about the presence of internal factors that contribute to the perception of the situation overly emotionally, giving it excessive significance and not letting go over time. Among the qualities that contribute to the development of nervousness, there are, which, on the one hand, implies the importance of only one's own opinion, and it would seem that it should free a person from experiences, but everything turns out to be the opposite, since one's own significance is too high and requires constant nourishment and admiration of the outside world. An egocentric person is not sensitive to others, but is extremely vulnerable to criticism in his own address, add here increased attention to the reaction of others and get a manic obsession, which can cause serious feelings due to the sidelong glance of an unfamiliar passerby.
The need to always be on top gives rise to a constantly elevated level of anxiety and tension, which leads to irritation on the smallest occasions and an overly sensitive attitude even to those moments that will not excite ordinary person, such as a rude salesperson or an insult from a drunk. Somewhere next to egocentrism lies the need for constant pleasure and pleasure, while everyday affairs, work, obstacles to pleasure cause excessive irritation, and a person does not calm down until he reaches the desired nirvana. The aspiration is good and inherent in absolutely all people, but it is unattainable a priori, because. life is not a beautiful picture of the Garden of Eden, but also consists of necessity and pain, of the need to endure and postpone pleasure. If you do not learn such qualities, then the world can seem very cruel and cause a lot of resistance - reactions quite similar to adolescence, when the universe stops revolving around his desires, but makes him earn what he wants.
If the first two reasons are a product, then from the characteristics of a more mature structure that interferes with living in peace, independence is also in the lead. Perfectionism makes a person strive for the impossible, perfecting every detail (this is how not only leaves, but also dust can be swept out in the yard, a sweater can be tied up ten times, and a table for passing a diploma can be measured to the nearest millimeter). In addition, such exactingness is distributed not only to one's own life, but also to the actions of others, causing a lot of irritation.
The requirement for perfection in everything gives rise to a lot of reasons for experiences, groundless and not leading to a result, so lowering the requirements and increasing the ability to enjoy what is happening and the imperfect world can bring more peace to the life of a perfectionist. Independence, as a factor causing nervous experiences, manifests itself in its extreme forms, when a person cannot delegate duties and pulls everything on himself. From such a state of overload, even trifles begin to irritate, and a negative attitude towards others and the desire to prove one's coolness by overcoming everything on one's own will fuel freer acquaintances.
The second manifestation of independence, as a factor that disturbs inner peace, is the independence of the opinion and structure of one’s personality and life from social norms, in such cases any clash with rules that cannot be explained logically will cause a nervous reaction (for example, why it is necessary to come to work at eight and sit until five, if you can arrive at ten and leave at four, having completed the same volume, but with better quality due to better health). Such people need either to develop their own systems of life, going into private practice and freelancing, surrounding yourself with like-minded people, or trying to find the advantages of the installed system, which you still can’t break.
Attempts to do everything as quickly as possible, to solve all the problems in one day are commendable, but they meet many obstacles in the form of the leisurely participation of the people involved, the closed doors of the necessary structures and the slowly moving escalator stairs. If your speed is higher than others, then you can be nervous while rushing them endlessly, it is better to try doing other things while you are waiting: if you are sitting in line, then instead of psychos and nervous comments towards the recipient, you can take care of your mail, watch a training video or write the necessary article. Keep track of the time that you are nervous, because in fact you cannot change the situation and use it in another useful way.
How to stop being nervous over trifles
Not without worries. They make us alive, show the significance of not only positive events, but also indicate problems, perform all sorts of useful functions, but how to stop being nervous about every occasion that is not significant, making you worth thinking about. Ignore such a state, suppress bouts of irritation or wait for the best streak to come, if it happens for a long time, then negative consequences will appear in the form of accumulation and growth of tension to a state where it is ready to splash out at the slightest provocation in an inadequately destructive manifestation. It’s great if you can find useful moments even in dirty tricks and turn minor troubles into positive signs (for example, if you are stuck in an elevator, you can rejoice at a good reason to be late for work and take a nap while you are freed from metal captivity). The ability to see the positive is invested from the ability to accept both good personal qualities and ongoing events, as well as bad ones. And the desire to manifest only approved traits and adjust everything that happens to the ideal option often makes you concentrate on the negative. If it is critical for you that everything goes perfectly, then you will control the course of all events and especially opportunities not according to the script, the number of things that require your participation, experience and control will increase. It all resembles a self-fulfilling prophecy, because worrying about the ideality of what is happening, you overload yourself with responsibility and nervousness so much that the chances of making a mistake increase.
Try to relax and be able to accept imperfections. Both in the manifestation of your individuality and in the world, such an attitude relieves you of unnecessary tension and worries, and automatically improves the situation, and even if it does not improve, it does not ruin your mood and health. In the end, it is much more important to remain calm than equally tied bows, adherence to time frames to the second and compliance appearance the latest trends in Milan.
Nerves on minor occasions betray problems in mood and stability nervous system, and if you do not work to improve her condition, then you can remove irritating factors indefinitely, but this still will not help stabilize the emotional background, since the problem is inside the body. To reduce the load on the central nervous system, it is worth temporarily eliminating or minimizing the consumption of substances that have a stimulating effect on it (caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, narcotic substances, some hormones), instead, it is worth introducing into the diet a greater intake of B vitamins, which are responsible for the good functioning of neurons. connections and conduction of nerve pathways. During periods of nervous overstrain and stress, you should definitely support your central nervous system with the help of appropriate vitamin complexes or herbal decoctions. Provide yourself with a productive and useful rest, not only during the vacation period. Let there be one day a week completely free from working moments, you can even turn off the phone so that they can’t find you and pull you out, putting pressure on your sense of responsibility. Quality sleep is the basis for the restoration of neural pathways, and switching activities contributes to real rest.
If you spent the whole day behind the monitor, came home and stared at the tablet - this will not be a reboot for your nerves, you'd better take a walk or go to the gym. If your work is connected with physical activity, then on the contrary, it is better to spend the evening at the cinema, reading a book or quietly chatting with your family. Follow the daily routine so that your psyche is ready for the fact that in a certain period it will have to work at full capacity, but then it will get its rest at the designated time - unsystematicness leads to disruption and destabilization of the psyche.
If you notice that having established your own life, providing the nervous system with decent conditions, nothing has changed in your nervousness, then contact a psychologist who may determine the development of neurosis (which happens if you pretend that everything is fine for a long time) or help identify the true cause problems (perhaps you are oppressed by relations with your spouse, then how many vitamin complexes do not drink, his presence will irritate and provoke malfunctions in the nervous system and only the termination or restructuring of relations will help here).
How to stop being nervous and worried
You can stop worrying by limiting your obsession with situations and work, of course, you should anticipate various options for the development of the situation and take into account bad outcomes, but this does not mean that all thoughts should be devoted only to this. Weakening of the stock of the nervous system by worries about the future or inventing various options the past will not help to get rid of experiences. During anxiety, one should take care of the present situation, instead of anticipating future events. Learn to stop your thought flow and narrow the area of perception to the present moment in those moments when experiences cover, so you can direct the rising energy in a constructive direction, instead of exhausting your nerves. Helps not to worry about future troubles pronunciation (perhaps even mentally) of what is happening in this moment(you chew an apple, cross the road, make coffee - even the most ridiculous thing spoken out loud brings you back to the present).
By analyzing about possible failures, and then looking at the number of realized ones, you will get a conclusion about your good imagination. Most of all the horrors drawn by our anxiety never come true, but the nerves about this are quite real, reflected in common resource nervous system and the quality of the health of the whole organism. If, however, it is not possible to drive away thoughts about possible failures, then you can always change their course and instead of spinning the plot up to the script of a horror movie, start thinking about ways to solve problems that arise, even better - look for the benefits that you can derive from what happened. Knowing how to handle the situation, it becomes not a problem for us, but only a certain stage, and if we see a certain benefit in this for ourselves, then fear and worries about its occurrence finally leave the emotional sphere.
Take a break from focusing on complex or problematic issues for a long time by trying to walk more, saturate the body with oxygen, play with pets (this activity, by the way, relieves stress perfectly). You can play a game or meet friends, visit interesting event and add a little adrenaline to life (this hormone also helps fight stress, removes panic and from a state of effective activity, and is also able to reboot the brain and give a new vision).
If you are often nervous and worried, then add movement in the form of exercise or fitness, jogging or a subscription to the pool - it's all about your preferences. In addition to helping to process various heavy ones, physical activity contributes to the production of endorphins, which ultimately helps to see the world in less dark colors, and, accordingly, worry less.
Aromatherapy and are excellent helpers to stabilize the nerves. There are special blends of smells that have a relaxing and calming effect, as well as works that affect your emotional state and entire collections of them. All this can be found in the nearest pharmacy and downloaded to your player, the only thing is that it will take time for the onset of a tangible effect. Therefore, try to make sessions regular, it is especially good to combine them with other types of care for your nerves, for example, meditation practices to appropriate relaxing music, in a room filled with aromatherapy scents. In situations where the nerves are completely on edge or for a long time under the test of circumstances, if you cease to control your emotional outbursts and can scream or cry unexpectedly for yourself, it makes sense to drink sedatives. They, from harmless valerian to serious tranquilizers, should be prescribed by a doctor, taking into account all the characteristics of your body, since most of them also affect the heart, the speed of reactions, may be contraindicated or even need antidepressants. In addition, a specialist can recommend working with a psychologist to resolve situations that led to a similar condition and even write out a sick leave to restore the nervous system.
How to Stop Worrying and Learn to Enjoy Life
Nerves in a shattered state can seriously ruin your life, so it’s worth slightly adjusting your daily activities so that there is a place for unloading from accumulated stress, and, accordingly, the opportunity to look at the world positively. Be sure to try to take a daily walk, jogging after the bus, being late for work, does not count - you should have time during which you will be able to settle down the experiences received during the day and reflect. Let it be a return from work through the park or an evening walk along a nearby pond.
Engage in clearing emotional blockages in which old grievances and accusations lie, unspoken words and children's complexes - all this is hard and takes a lot of time, and the efforts of the spirit are colossal, because the experiences there are far from wonderful, but after cleansing and freeing yourself from such a burden, you can feel , as there are more reasons for joy, and fewer things will cause a strong emotional reaction. Tune in to a positive perception of yourself and instead of constant criticism, let the inner voice speak encouraging speeches. get busy own life, protecting her happiness, because only you know what can make you happy. Of course, you want your loved ones to guess what can make you happy, but the more you silently wait for this, shifting the responsibility for your happiness to others, the more claims accumulate against them, the more they begin to irritate their smiles.
Leave the rush and the desire to do everything perfectly, instead, you can learn time management techniques and the ability to see beauty in flaws, because it is in them that uniqueness is hidden, and everything that is perfect is stereotyped and similar to each other. Avoid excessive workload, after work you should have strength for hobbies and friends, for your development and gaining new experience. To do this, learn to ask for help without fear that your reputation will suffer, rather, on the contrary, people will treat you warmer, besides, many want to be useful and love to help.
Fill your day with positive: you can communicate more with and reduce communication with, exclude people who escalate the situation, making you nervous. Do unusual and funny things on ordinary and identical days, share it with others, you can even set yourself the goal of becoming as funny as possible, then the mood will be wonderful and what previously made you nervous will become just an excuse for another joke.
Do what you love - it is always a source of comfort and new life resources. Practice as a matter of principle, no matter what happens, and you will notice that by introducing this rule, all the nerves and worries will remain outside the doors of the workshop, dance class, laboratory, whatever you like.
Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"
How to stop being nervous is a question many people ask themselves when they are in an impasse. After all, it is the excitement that prevents us from taking a sensible look at the problem, weighing all the pros and cons and finding a reasonable way out of the current situation.
I will tell you a secret: there is nothing supernatural and complicated in what I want to tell you today. But this does not mean that everything that I will share with you does not work, on the contrary.
If you make some effort, if you listen to my recommendations, then you will definitely be able to cope with excitement, stop being nervous and be able to remain calm in any, even hopeless situations. Interesting?
Reasons for our anxiety
Before I tell you about how to stop being nervous and become calm, I want to touch on the topic of the causes of our experiences. Even if you think that all this is unimportant, you are greatly mistaken, because it is not the condition itself that needs to be overcome, but its causes.
Do you know why we are nervous? Yes, because we try our best to think about the past and the future, and do not live for today.
Reason #1
The first reason that causes our anxiety is that we are in a hurry to live.
Yes Yes. We are constantly trying to live in a segment of the future (or rather, in the infinity of the future), without having the knowledge that we will learn later. We imagine an ideal picture of the future (only this and no other), not paying attention to what is happening to us now.
It seems to us that tomorrow that very happy day will come, but for some reason it does not come. First, we are in a hurry to grow up to stop going to school every day, because we think that all the best will happen to us after graduation. The next planned and expected period is marriage, then the purchase of a car, housing, climbing the career ladder, etc.
Let me give you an example of a situation in my life that almost made me worry. There is some event that may happen to me next year. In order for it to take place, it is necessary to plan funding for it this year or pay everything from your own pocket. Although there are still 2 months left until the end of the year, however, planning has already been suspended. When I found out about this, to be honest, I was almost upset, I didn’t start to worry. And then I thought, and I know where I will be in six months, in what country, in what job? Do I need all this then? And where is the guarantee that by entering the event into the “plan”, I will receive money to pay for it?
Have similar situations happened to you? I think they happen every day. We are worried about what decision we will need to make next Thursday, what the dollar will be like next year, where we will go on vacation in the summer. What for?
I really like one joke: “My childhood dream came true - I grew up and I no longer have to get up for school by 8:30. Now I get up for work at 6:20. So are we: we do not appreciate what is, but constantly worry about what will be (or will not be).
Reason #2
The second major cause of our concern is our past.
We constantly think about how we could change our past, we worry about it. Oh why didn't I do this earlier...
Think about it, does it all make sense? After all, the past cannot be changed! All this has already taken place. It just needs to be accepted.
Why do we worry, what drives us to experience this emotion? The most common source of our anxiety is fear. Fear of not doing something, fear that events will not go the way we imagined them. It is fear that is the root cause of anxiety. Well, anxiety makes us agitated and nervous and can even lead to development. Can a person, being in such a state, think sensibly, solve problems, act for his own good? Hardly.
What is the conclusion? Learn to live in the present moment! Don't try to peer into the future or invent a time machine to change the past.
Canadian physician, medical historian and philosopher William Osler once said the wonderful words:
Our main task is not to look into the foggy distance of the future, but to act now, in the direction that we can see.
What else can be added to these golden words?
How to stop being nervous over trifles?
Fence off the past and the future with iron doors. Live in today's pressurized compartments.
Don't think that I'm telling you to do nothing, by no means. It’s just that if you worry about everything that will happen to us in a week, a month or even a year, then you simply can’t have time to prepare for it.
I myself very often live by the principle: "You need to solve problems as they arise." If the problem is only visible somewhere on the horizon and does not affect me, then it is stupid to worry, what if it will bypass me?
A friend of mine jokingly told me this formula for solving life's problems:
50% of problems are solved on their own, 25% are not solved at all, so is it worth worrying about the remaining 25%?
Yes, this is a joke, but if you approach your life from a similar position, then there will be much less unrest, right?
Do you know that stress, constant worry can lead to many serious diseases - hypertension, heart attack, stroke, diabetes, psoriasis and many others? In pursuit of something ghostly, you can lose not only health, but also life! Stress is a common cause of many mental disorders, including. So if you want to be a mentally and somatically healthy person, do not neglect these simple recommendations.
3 simple steps to help you stop being nervous about everything
Getting rid of anxiety in problem situations is quite simple. The most important thing is to direct your energy not to worry, but to solve the situation. Let me share with you one working trick.
How to stop being nervous for any reason? It's very simple, just take 3 simple steps towards solving the problem:
- Step 1. The first thing you need to do if you are experiencing anxiety is to imagine that the worst can happen if you cannot solve the problem that has arisen.
- Step 2: Once you've imagined the worst that could happen, deal with it as if it's already happened.
- Step 3. Once you've come to terms with the worst case scenario, calmly consider what you can do to improve the situation.
As a rule, we worry precisely because we are afraid that something will go wrong, that the situation will reach a dead end. Okay, but even so. Even if things go for the worst, so what? Is it really worth your worries?
Believe me, after you look the danger in the eye, imagine the worst, you will become much easier and calmer. After all, we are worried precisely because emotions prevail over reasonable arguments. And if the outcome of the situation is already known (everything happened), then there will be much less unrest. You can move on to the next important step- to solve the situation, improve the worst option.
Another working way to stop being nervous and worrying
I want to give you one more piece of advice regarding how to calm down and quickly stop being nervous at work, at home or in any other situation. To do this, you must follow a certain algorithm.
If you are overwhelmed with anxiety, ask yourself 4 simple questions:
- What is bothering me at this moment?
- What can I do? (What are the options?)
- What am I going to do now to solve this problem?
- When do I intend to start taking the intended actions?
If possible, it is best to write or print the answers to all these questions. Firstly, this way you can see the situation and ways out of it more fully, instead of experiencing. Secondly, human memory is not perfect, if something goes wrong, and you refuse the chosen way to solve the problem, you will have other options written down on paper (which you can later forget about).
By answering these questions, you will immediately understand the essence of the problem. Moreover, if you go further, you can imagine possible options way out of the situation, ways to solve the problem and their consequences. You will see what other information you are missing and where to get it from. Believe me, it will be much easier for you to decide on a strategy of action.
Believe me, if you write the answers to all these questions, then you will quickly stop being nervous, and your thoughts will work in a completely different direction - how to constructively get out of this situation.
But even this is not the most important! The most important thing is to clearly imagine when it will be necessary to make a decision, not to rush the situation and, as I wrote above, to solve problems as they arise.
If a decision is required from you as soon as possible, then after you have collected all the necessary information, immediately proceed to action, while trying to discard all worries about the result. After all, you will do everything to improve the worst situation that you have already accepted!
Be busy all the time and you will be calm!
How to stop worrying and winding yourself up? Remember, for this you need to act, you need to keep your brain busy with intense work.
Have you noticed such a pattern that worries arise at those moments when we are free, rest, or our brain is not busy with some kind of complex work? This is where the excitement comes in.
When Winston Churchill was asked if he was worried about the responsibility that lay on him, he said:
